Stolen

Stolen

Lips pressed to bare skin,
it melts at a small, daring touch,
because from that heat
it must want too much.
Haze in eyes and mist from mouth
captured on my tongue in vapors.
Drifting overhead and wraps
a presence like yourself, an enigma.

Secrets whispered in an ear
but told to everyone, yet promised-
you swore no one would hear.
Two strong fingers clasped my chin,
afraid the person beneath pulls away.
Watching the shake in my thin shoulders,
watching feigned stoicism at its best,
watching forever, watching me.

A quiet lullaby spurred for love,
and murmurs cut an open wound.
Sting, not too much, for I look
always up above for that love.
This man supplies my starving soul.
He did so, and what was given
out of pity, out of lust, always taken;
our minds were the ones driven.

Licked my wounds with sad smiles
and sang to me the most somber tunes.
If it were right I once wished for silence
so I could love without any goodbyes.
Since that is not reality I sit upon a stone
carved in bitter lies and broken compromise
than that of superficial cadence.
For now my only wish is calm patience.

Bestowed to me was nothing but tragedy.
Arranged and rearranged are belongings.
Fine! my words shot. I don’t wish the life
having anything to do with you.
I take my dignity, chin held high,
and I’ll walk through those doors.
Paused. With every final goodbye
Fingers pull at my hand, so apologetic.
I submit once again; I always disappoint.

I don't know if I quite grasped the concept but to me I take this poem as the typical teenage relationships? I know it isn't but the way it starts with fake compassion then ends horrifically. I liked the theme and imagery within this poem. I didn't quite like the way it would stop flowing at parts such as, "because from that heat", The word that threw me off, there was a few other parts of this poem that also threw me off with a simple word. I'd go threw and maybe change a few of the words to keep the poem flowing, and moving.

Over all, I quite enjoyed this poem! Thanks for posting it I should of took each stanza and broke it down into what i liked, what I'd change, and what not... But to be honest it's quite late here... well for me seeing as i get 2-3hours of sleep a night! Ha, any how loved the poem! I'll post a better review on poems in the future!

Me too could not really get the concept... What is it all about???
It was good but the flow was not continuous but kept on going off track...
Good work...
Keep writing mate...

i liked this poem, but i was a little confused too. i think that its fine not to be direct with poetry because part of the art of it is obscuring the actual image through wordplay, or rhythym, but in this case maybe you could add one or two lines that are purely descriptive?
i really like the way that you divided up the poem. most times, i don't look at this, but the divisions seemed to separate different thoughts. am i right in thinking this is a girl who wants to end a relationship and can't bring herself to do it? your comparisons in the wounds and the secrets added alot to your work, and i think that the last line of the poem really brings the whole thing together.

Hey, thank you for your review
I really liked this poem, as it was quite evasive yet held strong imagery.
I especially liked the fourth stanza, I really thought it gave original and lovely imagery as well as more insight into the concept of the poem itself. I thought the language was quite nice and the last line was a lovely finish
However, I would also have to say that the writing was a small bit haphazard, it was difficult to grasp, again, the concept of the poem. Maybe you intended it to be so, as this style of writing can be very effective, but that's the only criticism I can give really.

Hi There

I agree with the comments of the others on not grasping the concept but yet i caught the idea of what you were writing. I maybe got a whole different story or image in my head but i did indeed enjoy reading it. I really do hope to see more of you poetry.

Keep on writing.

China Cookie