Fall

Winter laces the hands of the skinny, dry guardians
along the dust and leaf-lined street; a gust
picks up pace and sweeps the pavement clean,
a natural community worker or perhaps the Grim Reaper.
His broom falls, falls, falls - the leaves rise, rise,
rise, and join forces with the steady, approaching fleet of
sunlight.





By the way, a very happy New Year to everyone!

Hi :3
I lurve the poetry here! ^_^
A few tiny changes I would have made though,
I would have liked it to be a little longer

I think that's the main thing with me, otherwise everything else looks great!
I love the picture I got it my head reading this poem, and the whole grim reeper thing just makes
it seem more eerie.. in my case it's loveable :3

Last thing,
The poetic words used in the first sentence

"Winter laces the branches of the skinny,"

I assume you refering to the trees?
If your not, I'm an idiot -_-"

I had fun reading this, but I only wish it were a bit longer =]

Spoiler

I'm having fun with these font colours 0//0 i ]looove this website ;3

Hey Lil_Pau and Happy New Year to you too.
First some structural changes.

Winter laces the branches of the skinny, dry guardians
along the dust and leaf-lined street;
a gust picks up pace and sweeps the pavement clean,
a natural community worker or perhaps the Grim Reaper.
His broom falls, falls, falls - the leaves rise, rise,
and join forces with the steady, approaching fleet of sunlight.

In my oppinion , that would make it much better structurally.
You pictured everything quite nicely , and have set the atmosphere really good. I can feel the coldness of the Grim Reapers breath on myself too. That is how well you evoked emotions.
Good job.

- Rob.

Hi Lil_Pau, and a happy new year to you too.

I think I'd best start by addressing the length, and overall nature of the poem. This feels like an excerpt or opening stanza, and I feel it would be best to continue and expand upon what you have so far. I do like the ghostly street sweeper imagery you have going there in relation to the wind, and would have liked you to continue on that subject - wind is a powerful 'element', after all. The Grim Reaper reference is to imply a chilled wind, or cold?

The way I picture it is a Winter's morning on an urban boulevard, lined by those spaced trees on either side of the road, and the bitter wind is isolated, or fixated even, on a particular area of leaves, sweeping them along the street.

Apart from that, I'd be repeating Rob, and heaven forbid me do that after a day of being here proper. Nice work, and I hope you will consider expanding upon this piece.

Hey, Happy New Year
I really like this piece, give a stong detailed imagery and can place you to the place you are trying to create.
However, I would also like this to be longer as I find it to really capture the reader and it could be at greater use if it expands upon what you have writen and add more detailed descriptions.
But yeah, I really enjoyed this a great deal!