Take Me Away

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Reviews 254
Take me away,
to the land of my dreams.
Where its just me and you.
And love is the ruler supreme.



Where flowers don't wither,
and the sun never goes dim.
Where water bodies are of chocolate,
and bed rocks of cream.


Where animals can talk,
and trees can walk.
Where we could fly,
gravity we would defy.


Where clouds are of jell-o,
and it rains marsh mellow.
The world is bello,
and no one is shallow.


I hope this world
would be same as my dreamland.
"Can you give me a wand,
oh chosen one?",
and i'll show you how it is done.


Take me away,
to the land of my dreams.
Where its just me and you.
And love is the ruler supreme.



I'm bad with punctuations so please do forgive me.... :smt001
Are you living for the things you are praying for?




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Gender Female
Points 444
Reviews 120
Your title is the same as that of an Avril Lavigne song, and that's what drew me to this :) I was all set to shout at you for pretending that it was by you!
But it's not, and it my opinion... this is WAY better than that Avril Lavigne song. This has so much more depth and emotion in the lyrics... And I'm sure I'd love singing to this with the right tune :D
Yay! Xxxx
I want to play a game.




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ok, first off, let me say that I really like this poem. I just have a few nitpicks.
Take me away,
to the land of my dreams.
Where its just me and you.
And love is the ruler supreme.#FF40BF ">This is my favorite stanza.

Where flowers don't wither,
and the sun never goes dim.
Where water bodies are of chocolate,
and bed rocks of cream.#FF40BF ">I like where you are going with this stanza but it doesn't rhyme. normally i wouldn't care, but the rest of the stanzas do rhyme.

Where animals can talk,
and trees can walk.
Where we could fly,
gravity we would defy.#FF40BF ">this stanza is very well written.

Where clouds are of jell-o,
and it rains marsh mellow.#FF40BF ">Marshmallow is one word and has an a not an e
The world is bello,
and no one is shallow.

I hope this world
would be same as my dreamland.
"Can you give me a wand,
oh chosen one?",
and i'll show you how it is done.#FF40BF ">this stanza seems like it's out of place. the words don't rhyme and it's too long.



Follow your inner moonlight; don't hide the madness
— Allen Ginsburg