I Hate You

You'll never know how much I really loathe you.
I'm a plexiglass window to another side of the world.
You look at me for a while,
Make it feel like you're interested in a soul,
then take your knobby fist and shatter me to pieces.

I guess you've never really learned about this seedling without an address.
Maybe you've never learned how I function.
But what I know for sure is that as long as I flourish,
You continue to leave me in the background.
As long as I beat,
Every milli-second,
I will hate you.

(Thanks for reading. I haven't been able to get on lately because of school, the holidays, etc. Hopefully I'll be able to post more of my work soon. For now, hopefully the pirate can keep you entertained... and another one?!?

JaneThermopolis wrote:You'll never know how much I really loathe you.
I'm a plexiglass window to another side of the world. #FF0000 ">This is beautiful.
You look at me for a while,
Make it feel like you're interested in a soul, #FF0000 ">A bit confusing, but poetry isn't all simplicities.
then take your knobby fist and shatter me to pieces. #FF0000 ">Consider changing "knobby."

I guess you've never really learned about this seedling without an address. #FF0000 ">Very nice; I love this.
Maybe you've never learned how I function.
But what I know for sure is that as long as I flourish,
You continue to leave me in the backround. #FF0000 ">BACKGROUND
As long as I beat, #FF0000 ">Although I love the use of "beat," perhaps you could consider using a different word....
Every milli-second, #FF0000 ">Change this to "second" or "instant."
I will hate you. #FF0000 ">Consider "despise."

You do an admirable job of setting the atmosphere. Affecting readers' emotions is one of the goals poetry attempts to achieve, and you do a good job of this. You offer some intriguing imagery; perhaps you could lengthen the poem to include some more?

I hope you found my review helpful.

A really good piece bu its a bit short it would be better if you lengthen it...
It invokes raw emotions and its the best part of it...
And as in for review its already done above and i have nothing to say....
Keep up the good work mate...
PM me for anything...

you blew me away, I haven't heard a poem like that since i was younger, i love#BF0080 "> I'm a plexiglass window to another side of the world beutiful. If i could write like that i would be a very rich person