The Well of Knowledge

Hey Timmeh! I liked this poem. I'd give you a full review, but I'm tight on time. Your wording is lovely , but your rhyme metre gets messed up in the fourth and fifth stanzas. I think some rewording is in order so they flow more nicely. Also, I couldn't discern any rhyme in your fifth stanza at all. However, the overall writing of this is very nice. Keep writing!

-Tori

The poem is truely insightful and I especially like the discription. Big things come in small packages and this is a really big thing. The content was welldone too.

Hi there! I like this a lot. It made a lot of sense. The word choices were spot on, depicting very sensuous imagery of the message you're passing across in the poem. I also love your voice, It was simple and in my opinion ''motherly''. On the other hand, the rhyming was a bit off at times. It felt like you were forcing the rhymes. This is bad for the general flow of the poem. All in all, it was good poem and I would definitely like to read more of your work.

As someone who doesn't care all that much for rhyming poetry, I can see why the scheme came across as being a bit of a hindrance to you.

Now, I'm not quite sure if I'm a huge fan of the old-fashioned tone you took on for this. Its very... lore-like in comparison to anything new and contemporary out these days, and because of this voice, I think you were once again, hindered. I didn't get the feel I would have wanted to from this. That earthy, visceral feeling that should come with talking about a woman of earth rather than a scripture.

Of course, that would be my take on how things should have gone forth. You chose a different, so I won't be too brash on the subject, yes?

I'm going to do something rather unusual for me. I want to note on the last stanza first, and I want to explain why it was that last stanza that made this.

Greatly numbered are the ones
who've tried to conquer her
Yet no stick nor stone, no gun nor God
can stay her destined course

This is glorious writing. Absolutely superb. Up until this point, the poem in itself was rather mediocre and juvenile (I say this with the utmost respect, of course!), but you prove to me that you have the ability to play with words when you put something like this out into the world. And you've earned my respect because of it.

Now, why is this stanza so much better than the ones before it? Its stating a rather cliche truth, to say the least, but you used one word that I can't wrap my head around and it sends a shiver down my spine trying to think about it all. You used the word 'God'.

I understand that we're not talking about a Christian God. But the idea that this woman - this strong, visceral, beautiful woman - can stand her own against a man or a 'God' and not be captured or owned by Man makes this not only beautiful but passionate and strong. A lady liberty, if you will. An idol. And she is glorious as an idol.

Sorry, I got a little excited over that xD. Normally poetry doesn't get me all fired up but, for some reason, my inner feminist is having a little hay-day over this one.

So congratulations. You've gained my respect, and that takes a lot. Lets see if you can keep it ;D.

~Walker