Fairytale Ending

I see the way your eyes light up like that,
Sparkling through the night.
I wasn't there to witness it, but stories travel fast.
I can't figure it out, why did she use you like that just to add to her name?
I promise I'm not jealous.
I'm just looking out for you.

So easily you fell into her catacomb of mystical confusion.
She'll never love you because you're just a pawn in her chess game.
She's controlling the game, and has got all the kings bowing down to her queen.
Where's the fairytale ending?

I wish we could go back to those conversations.
When everything was right, alright.
When she came among, I never knew.
So what's changed now?
You are so lost.

So easily you fell into her catacomb of mystical confusion.
She'll never love you because you're just a pawn in her chess game.
She's controlling the game, and has got all the kings bowing down to her queen.
Where's the fairytale ending?

She's controlling the game, and has got all the kings bowing down to her queen.
Where's the fairytale ending?

I see the way your eyes light up like that,
Sparkling through the night.
I wasn't there to witness it, but stories travel fast.
This fairytale is ending.
I wish i could've known.

If any of you were wondering, this is about my guy friend being manipulated and used by his girlfriend. I know this doesn't really sound like poetry, but whatever. i just wrote and wrote and really didn't care as long i got what i felt on paper.

NOTE: i wrote this as a song and edited a little to make it into a poem (it explains the repition)

Wonderful. The poem is lacking rhythm, but I rather enjoy poems that establish that they don't have a strict rhythm. My only suggestion is changing "...catacomb of mystical confusion." The large words interupts with the flow, but you've already established that the rhythm is somewhat free verse, so, honestly, it doesn't really matter. You're very good at confusing the reader without discouraging them. With the first stanza, I felt confused, but facinated. This is a very thought filled poem, thanks for sharing it.

~~Titan of the sky~~

Awesome.... Just if you had kept the flow correct it would have been flawless... Except just for it everything is really impressive.... Great work... Keep it up...

Hey! Just sort of repeating what everyone else said. This poem was filled with great imagery and I liked your repitition. The rythym might have been a little off but that's okay, I think you might have meant to write it that way. I can see that because you wrote this about a real-life experience it's qute personal and moving. I noticed a small grammar error: "...your just a pawn in her chess game" should be "you're just a pawn in her chess game", other than that, good job!
P.S. I especially liked the last two lines. They really summed up the poem. :p

Epic. I don't really care about technicalities [ not to say they are not important ] , I usually focus on message and felling. I red it once, nothing. Second time I red it , I started picturing that girl just manipulating. I was just lost in the poem.
The refference to chess is just mind-bending.

PaperNessa wrote: has got all the kings bowing down to her queen.

just made me go "Omgwtfbbq!"
It's just too good.
Keep them coming.