The Ocean's Demons

I've been waiting here by the shore
as the sea introduces the tide
The brilliant whispers of stars are
stark white against bruised sky.

I feel tortured by incessant pounding
of the water's war against the sand
It's the yearning moon who plays so violently
that I wish to comfort, brush it's cheek with my hand.

But i find it's me who craves solace
with such brutal natural forces
it is I, who will not mind my business
wont let things run their courses

My arms are feeling numb now
the heavenly bodies are giving way
the beaten sky's wounds are healing
and turning into day.

i should be going to find something
who's gait is placid and composed
because the oceans demons are constant
and the sand's heart too much exposed.

It takes courage to write a poem nd I see such courage been displayed in your work, its really a combination of beautiful expression.
But still you could do more to this expressions

KatTrain wrote:I've been waiting here by the shore
as the sea introduces the tide
The brilliant whispers of stars are
stark white against bruised sky.

was a beautiful introduction.

KatTrain wrote:But i find it's me who craves solace
with such brutal natural forces
it is I, who will not mind my business
wont let things run their courses

but at this point you got me confuse as to the intention. When a reader have to read a poem 2 to 3 times to get the meaning of a peom it gets boring like reading fiction. Rather than concentrating only on beautiful expression still try to take the intention of the poem into consideration. If you can do that you will be a great poet.

In all I applaud your work

great piece....
good work with the expressions and emotions...
the poem is really on the dark... yo showed the evil side of nature....
keep up the awesome work you are doing....