Wintry Thoughts

I was inspired by the weather. I'm not much of a poet, but I get the occasional spurt of (probably misplaced) confidence to try my pen at one, so feel free to tear this to shreds and help me improve. A Happy New Year to anyone who decides to critique!

Wintry Thoughts

Snow is falling, snowflakes
melting cold - burning ice
settling like wedding lace,
white - on mittens, crowns
of soft pearls adorn hats.
Thuds on windows - spatter,
snowballs fly through the maelstrom
of shouts, laughter; the cold
evaporates in Christmas songs.

Fairy lights; red, white, golden
hot chocolate steams as logs crackle
the flames chase away winter
from clothes and hearts alike.
Traces of the past, covered
by howling winds; rain freezes
into heaps - grow into snowmen.
In winter silence, there exists
only the present moment.

Smiles of warmth-filled memories
resurrect frozen traditions -
as friends, families - together
create the magic of the season
- one whole.

Fountainquill wrote:I was inspired by the weather. I'm not much of a poet, but I get the occasional spurt of (probably misplaced) confidence to try my pen at one, so feel free to tear this to shreds and help me improve. A Happy New Year to anyone who decides to critique!

Wintry Thoughts

Snow is falling, snowflakes
melting cold - burning ice Okay, so I might not know what I am talking about, but why is the dash there? Its confusing seems like it should be a comma?
settling like wedding lace,
white - on mittens, crowns
of soft pearls adorn hats.Comma between pearls and adorn. Unless thats not what you meant and I am reading it wrong possibly ?
Thuds on windows - spatter,
snowballs fly through the maelstrom
of shouts, laughter; the cold
evaporates in Christmas songs. I really like that line!

Fairy lights; red, white,and golden. Unless your trying to say golden hot chocolate? If that is the case you need to change something there.
hot chocolate steams as logs crackle
the flames chase away winter,
from clothes and hearts alike.
Traces of the past, covered
by howling winds; rain freezes
into heaps - grow into snowmen.
In winter silence, there exists
only the present moment.

Smiles of warmth-filled memories
resurrect frozen traditions -
as friends, families - together
create the magic of the season
- one whole.

This greatly confused me. It was probably the grammar I did not get. Its a sweet poem though.

Hello there
First of all, I have never seen snow before because it doesn't snow where I live and so I was expecting to get the feel from your poem. I was kind of impressed.

burning ice

I really like that exaggeration.

In general, I found this poem a little confusing because your punctuations were all over the place. Get it under control please. I tried to follow but the flow was off and I couldn't tell lines apart. I feel your poem meant well but it needs some tweaking here and there and the removal of some of these dashes (-).

Keep writing and good luck!

Winter is not one of my favorite seasons. I'm a summer and fall person, because that's when all the swimming, camping, and hiking is! But despite the fact of winter not being my favorite season, I still got a bit of a warm, fuzzy feeling inside reading this. It seems to have been written to make the reader feel cozy and warm despite the season and even maybe brings up a sense of nostalgia, maybe? I'm not sure. Of course, I have to agree with the others that have commented on this: keep the punctuation under control! I can understand that sometimes putting dashes and commas and things like that in different places gives it a bit of an effect upon the reader, but this has them in unnecessary places. All this does is confuse the reader and throw him/her off the poem entirely.