My friend Wacky.

Hello, this is a poem I wrote about my friend Wacky. I hope you enjoy it and any feedback would be appriciated. I'm not really a poet, so this is just something I wrote in the moment.

My Friend Wacky

She makes a rainbow look dull,
She is the doll you played with as a child,
She dances with the stars,
She is the bow on your present,
She is what makes the frost shimmer,
She is a kite on a windy day,
She is the moral of the fable,
She is a knight of the round table,
She is a butterfly gliding through time,
She is the authentic, original copy you accidently discovered,
She is a loved teddy bear passed down to the next generation,
She is the breath-taking view at the top of the mountain,
She laughs like a church bell ringing through the village,
She is the surprise gift that you relished,
She controls the clouds,
She is the diary you confided in,
She can communicate with the nymphs,
She is the television program you couldn’t bear to miss,
She loves the taste of spring,
She is the wrist watch that kept you on time,
She hates the scream of poverty,
She is the paint brush that illustrated your life,
She is the ice cream you savoured on the scorching summers day,
She is the book you kept to give to your children,
She is the shell you picked up on the beach,
She is a rare jewel,
She is a friend for life,
She is my friend Wacky.

Okay, it is a sweet poem and the best are the spur-of-the-moment poems. There are few things that could make it better.

The first line: She makes a rainbow look dull. I like it, but it would go more with the poem if it said something like: She is the thing that makes a rainbow look dull.

Another thing is the third line: She dances with the stars. It would be better if it said: She is the dance of the stars.

The 13th line, where it says: She laughs like a church bell ringing through the village, it goes better if it said: She is the church bell ringing through the village.

The fifteenth line: She control the clouds, could be better if it said: She is the master of the clouds (or something like that.)

I'm not going through the rest, but basically you'd want to keep the "She is" pattern. It breaks up the flow if you don't. Otherwise than that, it's funny, witty poem.

Thanks, I really appriciate your advice! XxX

Good your friend Wacky sounds like a cool person I feel like I already know her just by reading this which is good. YOu are a good writer. Happy holidays love Jenn

this is so cute!!

its written from the heart i can tell and that makes it all the better.

there is just one line that i felt was a bit awkward. "She is the authentic, original copy you accidently discovered,"

it's a bit long so try and find a better way to word it. also you spelled "accidentally" wrong.

anyway good job! keep it up!!

You seem to be realy into this your friend wacky!! Good job there.

Nice poem! It comes from the heart and I hope this friend of your's has read this and seen how much she means to you!

Keep writing!

aww this poem is amazziinngggg!!!!! it is written with some great ideas linking to the consience of the person it is directed to XxX

I like this! Even though the repetition of "she is" was in almost every line, it didn't bother me or throw me off, as repetition like that usually does.

I think you should make all the lines start with "she is" since most of them do. It stands out when suddenly after reading three "she is's" it goes to "she laughs" or "she controls".

Good job. This was neat and something everyone can relate to

This poem is actually very good, but the repetition of 'she is' is very daunting. It makes your eyes hurt and I almost didn't read it because it looked so..... condensed and plain. You know what I mean? I think the core of this poem is lovely, and you have a way with words. You make Wacky seem like a girl I'd like to meet. However, I think that some re-structuring is needed to make this poem better. You could make it seem more resounding by just not saying 'she is' at the beginning of each line and simply putting the description. Just saying it once or twice will get the point across and make this much more readable.
Keep writing!

-Tori