we us and our double side

4 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1022
Reviews 139
It's crazy to see our blood flowing, ain't it, from the knife that we killed that ho who was showing? As if we liked pain. We don't or we do. You do but I don't. I don't but you do? Wait a minute, who are you?


We are me or am I you? This confuses us or should I say us two? If I am I and you are you, well where are you?


Ah, yes, I forgot, you are in my head. Did I make you up and you are my friend inside my thoughts and in my head? Am I the one inside your labrynith of blood and pain or am I the program and you're the glitch? Inside the mirror, which is which? Do I stand outside and you're within? Are you on the other side of the doll house staring in?

We take the knife and decide our life. We are sewn together but the stitches don't show. She tells me to let us go, but I don't know.

How? Your bloody ways have become routine. My kinder heart makes you less mean. When you become angry, I stop you from going through. When I become sad, you find a way to make me laugh. This is so strange. What would we do if I seperate from you?


Would I go crazy the same as you?



AN: Edited now! Thank you for your comments on that, I wasn't quite sure about the hoe/ho spelling.
Last edited by paperbackheart on Sun Dec 26, 2010 5:28 am, edited 1 time in total.
There are four basic food groups: milk chocolate, dark chocolate, white chocolate, and chocolate truffles. -Anonymous.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1279
Reviews 33
Hello there! Roal is here to do something!

from the knife that we killed that hoe who was showing?

If you're talking about the term "prostitute" then it should be ho because hoe is a farming tool, lol.

It takes in place of a psychopath... I like it!... That is all, since I don't have the knacks for poems.
14 years have passed
And yet I'm unabled
To find a friend
For my existence is lower
Than a piece of grass.




Random avatar
Gender None specified
Points 1054
Reviews 1
i love it it has so much feelings put there and i really like the topic keep on writing i wont comment again on the hoe issue




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 719
Reviews 562
I really don't know how I feel about this- I feel like the concept is interesting, but feels too forced because it's so concentrated in such a short piece. This feels like a concept that would work better for a book or something, an issue addressed through a series of actions, being gradually shown instead of bluntly told. As it is, the life and actions of the person interested me more than the confusion of themselves. If that had been a condition they'd been living with for a while, I think that it might have been addressed sooner, and the confusion wouldn't randomly manifest itself.

Just some thoughts- more rambles than anything else.
Nice job on keeping it straight in your head though, with all the singulars and plurals and everything... would have confused the heck outta me. :)

-Coral-



Nobody wants to see the village of the happy people.
— Lew Hunter