Power of Pop Secret- Erik's View- Part 1

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Anna Trueman sat awkwardly beside me outside Room 239, quietly sobbing as we sit in silence.

I glanced at her, feeling her pain and confusion, and try to remember what we used to be. Back when she was my everything. Not in a romantic way, of course. She was my sister.

I don't know how it got bad enough to make me say 'was'. She has no idea how much I, Eric Levers, desperately wish that she still cared about me, and that we still hung out.

She isn't my biological sister- I'm an only child. My parents divorced when I was two and we lost all contact with my mom's side of the family. Not that I mind, anyway- I don't remember her at all. Since my dad's a doctor who works almost 24/7, I'm usually alone now. My grandparents on my dad's side died of old age, and I have no aunts or uncles. Sounds tragic or unfair, but it's all I've ever known.

My problems started at the end of sixth grade.

Anna and I were going to have our traditional Friday movie night, and this week's movie was at her house. I loved it when I walked into her warm house that smelled of peppermint every other Friday. Looking forward to the movie and seeing her again, I trudged home from school and opened the door with a master key my dad always kept in a fake rock under the porch.

“Dad! I'm home!” I called. “Dad?”

A gust of freezing cold air was the only thing that answered me as usual. No surprise there. My dad must have gotten called into another emergency surgery, leaving me alone in a big, empty house.

After cranking up the heat and turning on the lights, I ran upstairs and plopped down on my huge bed. Since my dad's gone working constantly at the hospital, we have a ton of money. I'd much rather we be moderately rich or even poor if it would mean he'd be home once in a while. Not that he would ask, and I would definitely never bring it up.

Anyway, as soon as the house heated up and the lights were burning bright, I opened up my backpack and pulled out Anna's birthday present. I held it for a second, just thinking about how lucky I am to know her. Curiousity taking over, I flip the gift around in my lap and tear off the shiny wrapping paper with enthusiasm. The tag read, “I love you!”, which makes me smile so large that my cheeks hurt. But what came next puts my cheeks in near agony- I see that she made me a scrapbook. A picture of the two of us smiling cheekily next to the colossal jar of Wonka Nerds I won in second grade graces the cover.

I spend the next few hours pouring over the pages, smiling at the memories and just loving life in general.

And then the door opens.

A deep voice bellows, “Erik?”

“Dad?!” I couldn't believe that he was home!

Racing downstairs feeling alive and so happy to tell him about Anna's birthday gift, I stop in my tracks when I see his face. His rough cheeks are bright red, and his gray eyes are filled with tears. Having no idea what's going on and trying to be careful not to upset him, I quietly head into the kitchen and heat up a kettle of water for his afternoon coffee. I hear his footsteps echoing slowly throughout the house as he walks into his study. When I take a second to check on him, he's typing something on his computer and, in the light of his desk lamp, his face suddenly looks old and aged. I run back to the kitchen and pour his coffee just how he likes it, with two creams and six sugars, and gently set it on his desk.

He glances at me, eyes sullen, and speaks with a harsh tone, “We need to talk.”

“Okay? What's up, Dad?” I say carefully and sit down next to his desk, trying not to tread onto thin ice with my father, seeing he's obviously upset.

He takes a deep breath as more tears well up in his eyes, grabs my hands in his, looks me straight in the eyes, and says firmly, “She's back, Erik. She came back.”

“Who?! Dad, whats going on?”

"Think about it, Erik."

And then it hit me. I couldn't believe it. My mother..had come back?! The elusive woman who left and never came back suddenly appeared? This was fantastic! But why was he crying, then?

“But Dad...how could that be bad?”

“Well, Erik...she came back because...”

Why?” I pressed on, eager for an answer.

“Because she wants you.”

I pulled my hands away from his and stood up, not believing a word he was saying. A wave of fear washed down my body, followed by the feeling of absoloute numbness.

“No. No. I'm not..”

“I'm sorry, Son.” I could tell he was fighting to keep his voice even.

And with those words ringing in my ears, I ran.


Thanks everyone for reading! I super appreciate it! I wrote the original Power of Pop Secret in Anna's point of view, and it makes a full circle of the story. I decided to make a sequel written in Erik's point of view. Part 2 is in the works- I didn't want to bore you too much, so I split the stories up. Erik's point of view gives detail and clarity on the story.

Anna's point of view- viewtopic.php?t=72211
Last edited by ErBear on Mon Dec 27, 2010 2:14 am, edited 1 time in total.
~formerly Ilovebubbles123

"There's only one thing
to do
three words
for you.
Ooh, I love you.

There's only one way
to say
those three words
that's what I'll do.
Ooh, I love you. "

For you.




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Dear Ilovebubbles123,

My name is VStarfirix. As much as I have read of your story, it is very good. But, I have a lot of questions to ask you. I hope you don't mind me asking though.

-Is this your first story?

-Is this your second story?

-Is this your third story?

-Is this your fourth story?

-Is this your fifth story?

-Is this your sixth story?

-Is this your seventh story?

-Is this your eight story?

-is this your ninth story?

-Is this your tenth story?

-Is this your eleventh story?

-Is this your twelfth story?

-Is this your thirteenth story?

-Is this your fourteenth story?

-Is this your fifteenth story?

-Is this your sixteenth story?

-Is this your seventeenth story?

-Is this your eighteenth story?

-Is this your nineteenth story?

-Is this your twentieth story?

-Have you written anymore stories, other than this one?

Thank you very much for your patience.

Please keep reading and reviewing,

VStarfirix
"We are all mad here." said the Cheshire cat.
Alice In Wonderland

Read my story chapters: Nature's Elements - Prologue, Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four.




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I'm loving your story so far and I'm glad you're writing it from Erik's point of view. It could still use a little more work but overall really good because now I know somewhat of what's going on.

Anna Trueman, sitting awkwardly beside me outside Room 239, quietly sobbing as we sit in silence.It doesn't sound as if it's going to end, there should be some past tense in here like changing "sitting" to "sat or "sobbing" to "sobbed"

I glanceglanced at her, take in her tear-soaked face, and try to remember what we used to be.What does he feel as he looks at her tear-soaked face?

Combine this setence with the one aboveBack when she was my everything. Not in a romantic way, of course. She was my sister.

Combine with sentence aboveI don't know how it got bad enough to make me say 'was'. She has no idea how much I, Eric Levers, desperately wish that she still did care take out did and use caredabout me, and that we still hung out.

She isn't my biological sister- I'm an only child. My parents divorced when I was two and we lost all contact with my mom's side of the family. Not that I mind, anyway- I don't remember her at all. Since my dad's a doctor who works almost 24/7, I'm usually alone now. My grandparents on my dad's side died of old age, and I have no aunts or uncles. Sounds tragic or unfair, but it's all I've ever known.Feelings time! XD

My problems started at the end of sixth grade.

Anna and I were going to have our traditional Friday movie night, and this week's movie was at her house. I loved it when I walked into her warm house that smelled of peppermint every other Friday. Looking forward to the movie and seeing her again, I trudged home from school and opened the door with a master key my dad always kept in a fake rock under the porch.

“Dad! I'm home!” I called. “Dad?”

A gust of freezing cold air was the only thing that answered me,take out the comma as usual. No surprise there. My dad must have gotten called into another emergency surgery, leaving me alone in a big, empty house.once more. you don't have to put that in if you don't want to.

After cranking up the heat and turning on the lights, I ran upstairs and plopped down on my huge bedwhy? Is he exhausted?. Since my dad's gone working constantlyat the hospital, we have a ton of money. I'd much rather we be moderately rich or even poor if it would mean he'd be home once in a while. Not that he would ask, and I would definitely never bring it up.

Anyway, as soon as the house heated up and the lights were burning bright, I opened up my backpack and pulled out Anna's birthday presentwas he excited?. For a moment, I stared at it, just thinking about how lucky I am to know her. Curiousity taking over, I flipped the gift around in my lap and teartore off the shiny wrapping paper with enthusiasm. The tag readsread, “Part two, I love you!”,What is the significance of "Part two?" which makes me smile so large that my cheeks hurt. But what comes next puts my cheeks in near agony- I see that she made me a scrapbook. A picture of the two of us smiling cheekily next to the colossal jar of Wonka Nerds I won in second grade graces the cover.

I spend the next few hours pouring over the pages, smiling at the memories, and just loving life in general.You don't have to but you could put in a couple more memories.

And then the door opensI hear the door open from down below and a deep voice bellows, "Erik?".

A deep voice bellows, “Erik?”

“Dad?!” I couldn't believe that he was home!

Racing downstairs feeling alive and so happy to tell him about Anna's birthday gift, I stop in my tracks when I see his face. His rough cheeks are bright red, and his dullwhy are they dull? Lil' background info. gray eyes are filled with tears.Why does he think he's upset? (Besides obvious reasons. Is he trying to figure out why his dad is in tears. Careful not to upset him, I quietly head into the kitchen and heat up a kettle of water for coffee.Why? I hear his footsteps echoing slowly throughout the house as he walks into his study. When I take a second to check on him, he's typing something on his computer and, in the light of his desk lamp, his face suddenly looks old and agedDoes Erik suddenly become nervous because this looks bad?. I run back to the kitchen and pour his coffee just how he likes it, with two creams and six sugars, and gently set it on his desk.

He glances at me, eyes sullen, and speaks with a harsh tone, “We need to talk.”

“Okay? What's up, Dad?” I say carefully and sit down next to his desk, trying not to tread onto thin ice with my father.Is his father a tempermental and moody man?

He takes a deep breath as more tears well up in his eyes, grabs my hands in his, looks me straight in the eyes, and says firmly, “She's back, Erik. She came back.”Instead of Erik instantly knowing who it is you should say something like "Who's back dad?" or have it so that deep down he knew or something like that but doesn't let on.

“What?!”

I couldn't believe it. My mother..had come back?! This was fantasticWhy is it fantastic! But why was he crying, then?There should be more background infor on the mother.

ButDad...how could that be bad?”

“Well, Erik...she came back because...”

“Why? Why?”Use, "She came back because...? instead of the Why?s I pressed on, eager for an answer.

“Because she wants you.”

I pulled my hands away from his and stood up, not believing a word he was saying.How was he feeling? Stunned, schocked, scared? And why?

“No. No.”Some action like him shaking his head in disbelief, add an exclamation mark. What is he thinking?

“I'm sorry, Son.”How does he say it

And with those words ringing in my ears, I ran.
May all your bacon BURN! ~Calcifer "Howl's Moving Castle"




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You are a God-gifted author, bubbles! I read this one, and Anna's point of view, and the emotional turbulence is absolutely crushing. The imagery is masterful, I felt like I was in every setting. Just vague enough to allow for imagination, but not so vague that it's words with no picture. And the characters draw you in so well that you immediately feel what they're feeling, and want to know more about them. I fell in love with both of these characters, and even though this premise may have been dabbled in some other works I've seen, this is quite easily one of the best. Keep writing like this, and thank you so much for reviewing my story. It means a lot to have such a masterful writer view my work :)
Always reading and writing, your friend,
- SOCKS
Would you kindly?



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