I never liked orcs. They were big, dirty creatures with sharp teeth and horns. Their smell? Oh, don't get me started with that. You could smell them a thousand miles away, and believe me, you do not want your friends to run away because they mistaken an orc’s smell for yours. My father always talk proudly about orcs, well, that's because his one. Yup, to be honest, I'm an orc too, but I never liked the way we act. I mean, whenever I look at my fingernails, I could have mistaken them for corns. My father always tells me story about how we orcs triumph over every war we had with the monkeys. Well, that's what he calls them. Since I never saw one, he always described them to me as… creatures with many white horns in their mouth and countless black spikes on their head. To me, that sounded awesome. Anyway, my nails are getting too long. Perhaps I should ask Dad if I could borrow an axe from him…
Last edited by Asteral on Fri Dec 24, 2010 12:24 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Alright, so, um, I'm not exactly sure what to think of this. You give some description, but not enough. Something also needs to happen in the piece, some action that would bring out some emotions to tie your MC to your reader. Though, I do have to applaud you on your odd character choice, which also brings up a question. Didn't JRR Tolkien make up the Orcs?
~WickedWonder
'We will never believe again, kick drum beating in my chest again, oh, we will never believe in anything again, preach electric to a microphone stand.'
Wow, this was a pretty short prologue. You might want to try lengthening this and giving us some more information regarding what you're trying to say or what kind of plot you're hinting that. Usually a prologue introduces some sort of problem or plot and is used to captures a reader's interest. Try making this longer and giving us more details on your character and this world that you've created. =3
-Pink
There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are. -W. Somerset Maugham
Hey, thanks for reviewing the first chapter of my novel, thought maybe I'd return the favor!
First going out and touching on a couple of things that people already pointed out. First: yep, orcs were created by JRR Tulkein. Not really too important, but thought I'd have the question answered. Outside of that, my view's that this needs some work. Don't get me wrong, it's a lot better than the first pieces of work on the site (believe me) but there's definately room for improvement. In a prologue, the idea is usually to raise the tension and suspense, foreshadowing things that are to come. It's kind of an extra hook. In fantasy, getting a glimpse of things ahead of time can also be helpful for welcoming the reader into your world, because clearly it's a lot different than ours. I think that in general you might try to find another approach to this, because it just doesn't seem to click. It's a unique main character, though, so if you can find a way to make (him/her?) relateable, you could have an interesting story. Hope this helped. Keep writing, StoryWeaver
Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another. ~Lemony Snicket
