Human

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Whatever happened to honesty?
You're uttering lies.
Like a dog I sense your fear.
You are a coward, you are scared
You are disgraceful, you are their slave
Where is your integrity?
You are becoming what I fear most
They once oppressed, now you oppress
But I will always ridicule you
I have the right to mock you
Still, I will not stop you
Because I am a coward
Just like you
You are me
I am you
You are human, I am human too
We are all human
Sometimes we choose not to be




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Points 2218
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You are a coward, you are scared,
you are disgraceful, you are their slave.


You are becoming what I fear most,
they once oppressed, now you oppress,
but I will always ridicule you.
I have the right to mock you.


Still, I will not stop you,
because I am a coward,


just like you.
You are me.
I am you.


You are human,
I am human too.
We are all human,
but sometimes we choose not to be.


At the beginning of this poem it doesn't make any sense, it doesn't really link well to the end of the poem either... I like the end though:
We are all human
Sometimes we choose not to be
My favorite line :)

This is pretty well written. I think you have potential.

Keep writing,
Alzora
"Just remember there's a difference between stalking people on the internet, and going to their house and cutting their skin off." - Jenna Marbles

~ Yeah I'm letting go of what I had, yeah I'm living now and living loud ~




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I agree that it's confusing in the sense that we're not sure who is speaking, why they're speaking, or who they are speaking to. I like that it begins as if two people are fighting, then in the end the speaker admits that they too are human. I feel that this poem could be made longer or could have a second part to it- the language you use is really great, but the reader feels just a bit out of the loop, if that makes any sense. Keep at it though, it's written on a personal level which is pleasant to see. :)
I can take criticism! The more help you can give someone, the better.




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Points 1682
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This is a very angry poem...the lines where you (or whomever the speaker is) say you have the right to mock someone because they are human really caught my attention. The speaker then proceeds to say that you are both human: I am a little confused to the train of thought here, because if they are both human, doesn't that take away his right to judge, mock, and ridicule the other?

I understand if this is just freewriting, my poems hardly ever make sense to the reader (I write for myself, because I must). Just make sure you put something before the poem if it is freewriting, so people don't tear you apart on here haha. :)
"Let other pens dwell on guilt and misery!" - Jane Austen



And then, as if written by the hand of a bad novelist, an incredible thing happened.
— Bartimaeus of Uruk