What Happened

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What happens, when you care, but you're afraid to?
What happens when all you thought you knew, was just a dream?
A dream of hopeful wishes, scattered across your heart?
What happens when the day comes, and the door is closed?
What happens to your heart, that was once floating, begins to sink below.
Through my eyes I loved you, as much as I ever could.
What happened?




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I liked the unconventional way of poetry, it is a cool way of leaving it an open ending. Maybe have more of an explanation throughout the middle of it? Food for thought...
'Evil exists in all of us Torak. Some fight it. Some feed it. That is how it has always been.'

"There is always a choice," said Torak, and he backed off the cliff.




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Loved it. :) Only beefs with this are the lines 2 and 5. Line 2 has a sort of awkward comma in it. It would actually read as one straight, unbroken sentence (if that makes any sense at all.) But I understand sometimes that feeling that a comma ought to go somewhere whether it's needed or not. As for line 5, it begins as a question but finishes with a period. Hope that helps.
I can take criticism! The more help you can give someone, the better.



i think once every new ywser realizes they can manifest themselves into the quote gen by making a post about the quote gen, they make a very inconspicuous post about the quote gen, but deep in their hearts, they know they’ll see that post at the bottom of the page one day. (yeah, i see you mods. you brought this upon us)
— Avian