Bright Lights

Okay, so I know this isn't great or anything, I was just feeling pretty bad about anything and everything. Better now after writing, but I know this isn't great. Comments/corrections would be great. Thanks!


I walk these dirt roads and corrupt pavement.
I stare out the passenger window, watching my life fly by.
There's nothing more to do but dream.
I don't have power within to do something great;
Although I'v wished it.

Trapped in a cage, I feel
My piers are the lion tamer,
Family the ringmaster.
I need to find the key and get out.

I know I'm better than this.
The dim lights and yellow lines
Are the only thing guiding me to brighter things.
Bright lights and blacktop streets are my goal.

Everything here is off topic and jumbled.
Say what you want about my grammar and stanzas.
I really don't care at the moment.
I just needed to write.

I know this isn't a poem.
That I'm using writing to deal with life.
I know I'm just a girl.
One who has high expectations to live by.

Bright lights and blacktop streets are my goal.
Someday I hope to be there.
Until then, I'm stuck with dim lights
shining down on my begging heart.

Hi Wondergirl59,

I really enjoyed reading your poem, it flowed really well, and you wrote during a time when you were feeling down, you wrote it for an escape and I felt that in your words. I also didn't mind how you've mentioned in the poem why you decided to write it in the first place, it helps us to understand your feelings. But, I absolutely love the first paragraph! Really great stuff! Just a little note, in the first paragraph, it's "I've" not "I'v".

But I absolutely loved how it ended:

Wondergirl59 wrote:Until then, I'm stuck with dim lights
shining down on my begging heart.

Well done! Best wishes for future writing!

RedLeaf

How on this Earth can you say this isn't great?! Iy's Way more than great, it's wonderful!