“Prove to me that humans exist,” Guido spoke sternly. Staring at the control panel Sniks stood at.
“I somehow knew you would ask that,” she cackled. “Follow me.”
She led him through the dark and drab corridors of the ship. Guido gasped in awe - greatly amazed at the uniformity and organization the meer-troops had.
They finally came before their destination, a tall and fat meerkat leaned against a bolted door.
Sniks and the guard exchanged a few brief words and the guard unlocked the iron door.
“Come on, penguin,” she called as she entered the dungeon.
Guido hesitated, but finally followed the mad creature. There, before him, sat something so horrendous, so indescribable. Guido let out a shrill threat call. The horrifying creature clasped his claws over two knots on the side of his head and wailed.
“Oh shut up!” the creature bellowed.
Guido backed away from the cell wall, “Wha-what is that?!” he cried in fear.
“That, my dear penguin, is my pet midget, Bolcan.”
“A what?” Guido slowly eased towards the ’midget’.
“I’m a human being. GET ME OUT OF HERE!” Bolcan screamed.
The creature stood at about three feet tall, big blue eyes stared at the small critters on the other side of the cell. He… or it had a mop of curly ginger hair that hadn’t been combed in ages. A five pointed claw called ’hands’ reach out between the bars, and Bolcan called out.
“Please, you have to get me away from this, this,” he stared at Sniks, “this monster.”
“SILENCE!” Sniks bellowed. Batting the human’s hand with her crop.
“Okay, so you’ve proved that humans exist. But why don’t you accept a truce?” Guido’s stare at the bizarre midget never broke.
“It’s just not possible!” Sniks threw her hands up in the air again.
The three stood in silence for a brief second when a sudden ear splitting crash. Red lights flashed through out the ship as sirens blared.
“Queen! They-they-they’re here…” a young soldier yelled, panting from running through the giant vessel.
“Bloody penguins!!!” Sniks shook Guido.
“No mum, the LOLcatz…”
“NO! Not the LOLcatz!” Sniks fell to her knees and sobbed.
After the queen meerkat and Guido ran to the bridge, all chaos had broken loose.
Small cats with goofy expressions on their faces ran amok.
“I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?!” a fuzzy yellow one screamed.
By now, all the warrior penguins had moved towards the ship. Icicle-swords and meerkat weaponry clashed. LOLcatz fell out of the sky, their parachutes looking like multi-colored gumdrops raining down upon the mayhem.
A monstrous grey cat sauntered towards Guido and Sniks, his tail twitching in the wind.
“We come to P.A.R.T.A.Y!” the cat proceeded to dougie.
Guido stared blankly at the insane animal. A tinge of annoyance struck him.
“You ignorant boob!” Sniks barked. “I told you, you are a has been. The cute war is between us and those mumbling idiots!”
“But err-body love meh!” the cat continued to dance.
“Oh please shut the-”
“EVERYONE!” Guido interrupted. He bit his tongue at the outburst he had just committed, “Why don’t we just live in peace?! Why can’t we all just get along!”
“But you don’t understan-”
“Don’t understand what?! What, eh!?” Guido yanked the crop out of Sniks hands and snapped it in half. “I say, we all should just throw a party, like this cat here suggests.”
“Can I teach err-body hot to dougie?” the cat jumped up and down.
“Yes, sure, why not,” Guido shrugged. “You have party arrangements?”
“Of course!” the cat screamed.
“Great, us penguins will supply the location, the meerkats can supply the pyrotechnics and food!”
“You can’t just tell us what to do!” Sniks wailed.
“I believe I just did,” Guido smirked and trotted off to go alert Shear of the brilliant plan.
Uh-oh… What will Shear think? I hope he accepts this party proposal… Guido began to worry.
Stay peeled next week (I promise it won’t take as long to write it) for the conclusion of The Cute War of the Ages!
First review and you took my kitty suggestion! That was hilarious! I love it. Not the way I was picturing the kitties, but you made it even funnier. I love it and I can't wait until part three!