I'm walking through the door, and I am happy for the first time in three days and one hour. I need this. I need it.
I'm still sort of wondering what I'm doing. All I know is that I'm going crazy, quickly now, and I just hope there's enough time left before I explode with craziness and life and my guts and thoughts and hopes are left in a puddle on the floor, just waiting to be put in the garbage with beer bottles and the other crazy kids. Maybe no one would even notice I was gone, to be left forever with all the other exploding souls. It sounds sort of scary. Remind me not to explode.
It's my house, but it feels so foreign. Like a parallel dimension-me's house. But the people are still the same. It's not my party, it's my brothers. For the most part, it's not my people. Except for the few upperclassmen who always manage to be influential enough to get in.
Except for Hannah Fucking Jones.
She knows whose place this is. Weren't we just making out on the couch four days ago? It's been so long already, everything feels so fast, too fast. Like the whole world's gonna come off its axis and crash into Mars. Or the sun. All I know's that I can't take the heat.
I'm burning up and I can't take this, I can't, so I run away. As always.
Why is she here? Why is she still in my head and I can't get her out? Should I try some bleach?
The hottest girl in the high school, maybe the world, and now she looks like shit to me. Now I can see that she's just another dumb girl. Maybe I'm just a player, but she's still a bitch.
I go and hide in the kitchen, grab a bottle and sink to the floor. My brother's watching my but he doesn't say a word. Just watches me. He know's that I'm a wreck. Does everyone?
I need to breathe. I need to chill. I'm in major need of Cillian right now but he decided to go crazy before me and now he's off wallowing in apathy or scoring some college chicks. My other band-mates don't give a shit. It's just me and the world. And the bottle.
My bottle's empty. I take another one and decide I need to leave. Now. And maybe tell my brother to get her off my back. Because I'm sick of it. And I'm done.
But Jason's already gone when I open my eyes, thinking, just maybe, I'll wake up in another world. Or just never wake up. I'd take comatose over this.
I'm still so pumped, the red bull and beer are messing my system up- I need to leave. I really need to leave.
So I get up.
Some of the kids watch me. Most are in college, or should be. I'm sixteen, but I'm used to his friends. Soon they own't even notice I'm here.
I run out the back door, down the steps, to the ocean. It's hot. And it's stopped raining.
Soon the alcohol's set in, the glorious thing, and I'm left numb. This beautiful numbness is what I breathe for. It's my only escape, and it's oh-so lovely.
Soon I'm wandering outside. It's hot, it's sticky, it feels odd to my skin. Yet it's beautiful. It's perfect. For a second, I forget. And that's all that I need.
To escape.
Spoiler
Yeah. I haven't posted on here in a reeeally long time. I liked this at first, it came out pretty fast and I wasn't really sure where I was going with it. It sort of became tied in with a story I have going on, more of a backstory. I tend to like things less and less as I actually look at them, so I'm going to try not to pick this apart too much. The grammar is funky, but it's supposed to be. I don't know if it sounds too casual though. It's pretty short, less than a page, I don't know if it's too sort :/ I rated it 18+ since it swears a couple times, I'm not sure if it needs it. Anyways, tell me what you think wether it's crappy or ok or whatever ^^

