These Are Dark and Deadly Times

Spoiler

I HATE RHYMING! I like free verse. But whatever, here ya go. Something depressing for funsies.

These are dark and deadly times we live in.
I hate to admit it, my friend.
It’s sad but it’s true,
And although it might make you a little blue,
These times are dark and deadly.
These horrors are a medley,
A mixture of terror,
But if you don’t care, or,
You’ve already passed away,
I’ll make sure, in the dirt you’ll lay.
Times like these are deadly and dark.
In the air, there is no singing of the lark.
Are you serious?
Or a bit delirious?
Times like these don’t call for music,
Not even a lick.
Dark and deadly is this time.
We all swim in dirt and grime.
You know we’re all going to die,
And you know I don’t lie.
These are dark and deadly times we live in,
And I hate to admit it my friend.

Gah!! I don't really like the way you keep using "dark and deadly" it get boring... quickly. The rest of the poem is ok.

Keep writing,
Alzora

I disagree with Justagirl - the "Dark and Deadly" times are what this piece is about. I found it perfectly fine to have in there. So I'm not really good with poetry, but there were a couple words I felt would make the line flow better if they were changed:

It’s sad but it’s true,

I'd change "it's" to "also." It just seems to me like it would flow better.

And you know that I don’t lie.

I think it'd go better if you added "that."

All in all, I like this. I like how, though this rhyming, the line length all vary, as do the meter. A couple of the rhymes aren't close rhymes, (like music and lick), but I like them 'cause they add a little spice. Mix it up a bit.

Sorry if this isn't very helpful.

loveness, ultraviolet <3

Pretty neat. At first I liked the repetition, but in the middle it got kind of annoying, but at the end it fit in pretty well. I think that these styles are being used too much of late, the Gothic-Twilight like style. It is very depressing and annoying, but I don't mean you poem *laugh*. It is pretty goo, and it makes you think about the world and its situation. Again, maybe you could replace those "dark" lines a bit.