Dear Dreamer

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Dear Dreamer,

You spend your days dreaming of 'what if's' and 'what could be'
Have you ever thought about what is now?

Dear Dreamer,

I hate your starry eyes and rose petal lips.
I can't stand to feel your skin brushing against mine.

Dear Dreamer,

You are perfect in a way that I can not explain.
You believe in things that aren't there.
You dont need proof, you need faith.

Dear Dreamer,

You say you love me after I mouth that I hate you.
Why are you so unique?
Why must you dance upon the glistening stars?
Why must you string cupids bow?

Dear Dreamer,

You believe in love.
What makes you believe?
What is it like?
Is it like tasting the suns golden rims?
Is that what a laughing heart feels like?

Dear Dreamer,

At times I wish I was more like you.
That I could kiss the moon and grasp the stars like you.
That I could learn to love me, like you love me.

Dear Dreamer,

Go back to sleep.
Last edited by rememberme on Tue Dec 07, 2010 8:21 pm, edited 2 times in total.




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Hello my name is MusicAndWritingSpeak and I'll be your reviewer today :)
I really loved this poem, the repitivness didn't sound bad like it does in most poems. Keep up the good work
Maybe I was the girl to shy to be loved...

oh Mr.Darcy

You sit there in your heartache waiting for some beautiful boy to come and save you- the killers

psh yea I don't need a boy to rescue me from the dragon




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I absolutely love this peom. It's beautiful.
I don't really have anything to say. It's beautiful. I already say it but it deserves to be said again.




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Hey dreamer! I mean--rememberme (lol) I'm Jash and I'm here to review your poem today.

First are NITPICKS...(pay attention to the words in this color)

I can't stand to feel your skin brushing against me.

>> I know this is poetry and you feel free to ignore this, but I think that should be "mine"?

You believe in things that aren't there.


Is it like tasting the sun's golden rims?


I nitpicked the above sentences because you used apostrophes at the first lines, assuming that they were mistakes. =)

At times I wish I were more like you.

>> Was? O_o

That I could kiss the moon and grasps the stars like you.


OVERALL

Hello again RM! I'll have to agree with musicandwritingspeak, the repetition of "Dear Dreamer" wasn't in the least annoying or so; it was fine and it was probably one of this poem's characteristics. You made me read from the start to the end. So I'll have to say that I really, really like this poem. Good job writing it! I wouldn't wanna rearrange anything. You've already done it wonderfully! =)) I thank you for the time not wasted reading this. So, are you still jealous of me? Haha! Kidding. =))


~ Jash ♥
“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen:
not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.”


—C.S. LEWIS


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Oh, I loved this. It was great to read.

I don't know much about meter, but something seemed a bit off at times...I felt inclined to add or take away a syllable.

But your poem was very sweet :)




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When I read this, it really MEANT something too me. I could FEEL it.
You sir, are an awesome writer :) xxx
I want to play a game.



Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.
— Brené Brown