On The Road (Chapter 2)

2 Miles Jenny Miller

Being a bird, the feeling of freedom of soaring high up in the sky with its powerful pair of wings that’s what Jason wanted most. He couldn’t think of any other things that could describe his feeling of wanting to be a bird. However, he had a lot of excuses for not being a bird. If you were a sparrow, you might get eaten up by an eagle. If you were an eagle, you might have got caught and put inside a cage. If you were a chicken, you couldn’t fly, but you would be feed till you’re big and fat and then be decorated on Christmas Eve.

It had been two days since there moved to Malibu. The house was still too messy for them to live in. Furniture was all over the place and things were scattered all over the floor. How could they sleep in that house? Jason thought.
Luckily for them, one of his dad’s friend, Aunt Delia lives in Malibu. Aunt Delia wouldn’t mind if they live in her house, in fact she would love it if they came and stayed. Delia was once a wife and a mother. But her husband and child died in a car accident. So, she became a widow. Jason also remembered that she told dad she would never marry again. Jason thought that this is the way she showed her faithfulness of her husband. They eventually went to her house and stay there temporarily.

“Jason! Jackson!” Aunt Deli gave them a warm welcome as soon as they arrived.
“Hi, Aunt Delia!” Jackson greeted as he saw her.
“Hey, Aunt Delia.” Jason greeted her.
“Come inside boys! Here, I’ll show you both of your room.” Aunt Delia lead them into the house and took them to their own room.
There was a bed, a drawer and a desk in Jason’s room. Jason puts his bag on the desk and started to take his things out of the bag.
Aunt Delia walked out to the porch after taking them to their room. She saw Chris, Jason’s dad taking his bags out of the car boot.
“Chris, you can live here as long as you want. This won’t be a problem for me.” She said politely with a low voice..
“No Delia. You have a life of your own too. We can’t keep on bothering you.”
“Chris, really, I can take care of your sons. Don’t you worry about me or them, okay?”
“Fine.” Chris finally gave up and replied, pulling his voice. Aunt Delia smiled. She was always so good at persuading people do to something.
Chris continued. “But on one condition. When I say we have to leave, we will leave. Okay?”
“Deal. And if you need any of my help, just ask me.” Delia said and helped him with the bags.
“Don’t worry, I sure will.” Chris replied with a smile.

“Hey Jason.” Chris walked into the room and saw his son stacking his clothes neatly in the drawer.
“Hey dad.” Jason turned his head and replied.
“How do you like it here?” Chris continued.
“Not bad. It is not like we live here for the first time. Also, the beach is just a mile or two away from here, I can always go there anytime.”
“I thought you hated going to the beach.” Chris said with a winched tone.
“No. I like the beach, especially the sea.” Jason smiled.
“Oh. So you like the sea.” His father smirked at him. He was surprised. He never knew that his son liked the sea.
“Yeah. The feeling of the sea is so good. The seawater running between my toes and splashing towards my body feels so good.”
“Oh, I love what you’re saying. Maybe I’ll add your views in my new novel.” His dad said as he snapped his finger.
“Feel free to use it if you like.” Jason smiled and said. His father smiled too.
“Uh, I would like to go to the beach, you know, feel the cool breeze.” Jason said as he walked out of the room to get his coat.
“Fine, but don’t come home late, we are going out to eat afterwards.”
“Sure. Bye.” Jason opened the door and walked out to visit the beach.

Malibu was so beautiful. Especially the beach. Jason thought as he walked along the beach. The sea, the seagulls and hundreds of beautiful seashells hiding in the sand waiting for you to find them made him feel even more happy than usual. He found a spot and lay down on the sand. His hands ran through the sand. It was so warm and smooth. He thought. He then looked at the sky. It was so blue and so wide. He liked the sky a lot. He closed his eyes and dreamt about being a bird flying in the sky. The feeling was great.

Slowly, he fell asleep… He started dreaming about the same dream again. Since the accident, the dream had always been haunting him. His body started to shivered and shook with fear and made him screamed.

His eyes opened and he noticed that he was still lying on the beach, looking at the sky. His whole body was covered with sweat. He was sweating and panting heavily. Although the weather was hot, he still admitted that it was the dream that made him sweat so much.

He stood up and looked around. He saw that not far away, there’s someone sitting under a tree. He looked carefully at the person. It was a girl.

It was noon now and it was very hot. People who lived by the sea would not come the beach at this sort of time. He started walking towards her. She was sitting on a wooden chair like those that could be folded. There was a book in her hands and she was reading it.

He walked closer but the girl kept staring at her book. She seemed to be focused on the book. However he saw something, something that interested him on the girl’s face. There was a smile. He saw that she kept smiling. She felt that her smile was very special.

“Hi.” He mouthed out.
“Oh! Hi.” She seemed to be surprised. She put down her book and stood up. Then there was a brief moment of silence. Jason wondered what she was reading that made her all spellbound. He took a glimpse of that book. The book’s name was ‘The Girl’. It was a novel written by his dad!

He put his mind back to her and looked at her. The girl seemed to be staring at him. He winched at her which made her took a step backwards and said “Oh.”. Her face turned red. She felt embarrassed about what she did just now. She quickly asked Jason. “So, I haven’t seen you around before, did you just move here?”
“Yeah, I just moved here, with my dad and brother.” Jason replied.
“Oh…” The girl said softly. “By the way, I am Jason Torres. Nice to meet you.” Jason continued.
“I’m Jenny Miller!” She smiled again. Suddenly, both of their eyes met. Something was caught between them through their eyes. They stared at each other like there was a spell. Until Jenny’s phone rings, and spell was broken.

Hi everyone~Okay, now this is my 2nd chapter. I think there's not gonna be a problem because I had already read it 3 times and re wrote it.(At least that's what I thought so) But I also need your advise of this novel. Chapter 2 maybe a lot more longer than chapter 1. And for those who had already read chapter one, please don't ask me why he is sensible now and he sounded so bad at first~~~HEhe~~~ Cause that's part of the novel~~~Read it yourself and find the joy in it~~!!! Thanks~~~~

~~~Love, Dylan

Hey Dylan, how have you been i see you have the second chapter which to me about 15 minutes to review lol the details are in the end so ... yeah

Being the birds, the feeling of freedom and soaring high up in the sky with its powerful pair of wings was what Jason wanted most. He couldn’t think of any other things that can describe his feeling of wanting to be a Bird. Instead, he has a lot of excuses for not being a Bird. If you are a sparrow, you’ll get eaten up by the eagle. If you are an eagle, you will get caught and put into a zoo. If you are a chicken, you can’t fly, but being feed till you’re big and fat and then you’ll be decorated on Christmas Eve.

Being a bird, the feeling of freedom of soaring high up in the sky with powerful pair of wings, thats what Jason wanted most. He couldn’t think of any other things that could describe his feeling of wanting to be a bird. However, he had a lot of excuses for not being a bird. If you were a sparrow, you might get eaten up by an eagle. If you were an eagle, you might have got caught and put inside a cage. If you were a chicken, you couldn't fly, but you would be feed till you were big and fat and then be decorated on Christmas Eve.

It had been two days since there moved to Malibu. The house was still too messy for them to live in. Furniture were all over the place, things were scattered all over the floor. How can they sleep in that house? Jason thought.
Luckily for them, one of his dad’s friend, Aunt Delia lives in Malibu. Aunt Delia doesn’t mind if they live in her house, in fact she loves all of them. Aunt Delia was once a wife and also had a child. But her husband and child died in a car accident. So, she became a widow. Jason also remember that she told dad she would never ever marry again. They went to her house and live there temporally.

It had been two days since there moved to Malibu. The house was still too messy for them to live in. Furniture was all over the place and things were scattered all over the floor. How could they sleep in that house? Jason thought. Luckily for them, one of his dad’s friend, Aunt Delia lives in Malibu, she wouldn't mind if they lived in her house, in fact she would love it if them came and stayed. Delia was once a wife and had a child of her own. But her husband and child died in a car accident. So, she became a widow. Jason also remembered that she told dad she would never marry again. They eventually went to her house to stay there temporarily

“Jason! Jackson!” Aunt Deli gave them a warm welcome as soon as they arrived.
“Hi, Aunty Delia!” Jackson said loudly as he saw her.
“Hi, Aunt Delia.” Jason said.
“Come inside boys! Here, I’ll show you both of your room.” Aunt Delia leaded them into the house and took them to their own room.
There is a bed, a drawer and a desk in Jason’s room. Jason puts his bag on the desk and started to take his things out of the bag.
Aunt Delia walked out to the porch after taking them to their room. She saw Chris, Jason’s dad taking his bags out of the car boot.
“Chris, you can live here as long as you want. This won’t be a problem for me.” She said.
“No Delia, no.” Chris kept repeating.
“Chris, really, I can take care of your sons. Don’t you worry about me or them, okay?”
“Fine.” Chris finally gave up. Aunt Delia was always so good at persuading people do to something.
Chris continued. “But in one condition. When I say we had to leave, we will leave. Okay?”
“Deal. And if you need any of my help, just ask me.” Delia said and helped him with the bags.
“Don’t worry, I sure will.” Chris said with a smile.

"Jason! Jackson!” Aunt Deli gave them a warm welcome as soon as they arrived.
“Hi, Aunty Delia!” Jackson said loudly as he saw her.
“Hey, Aunt Delia.” Jason added
“Come inside boys! Here, I’ll show you both of your room.” Aunt Delia lead showed them into the house and took them to their own room.
There was a bed, a drawer and a desk in Jason’s room. Jason puts his bag on the desk and started to take his things out of the bag.
Aunt Delia walked out to the porch after taking them to their room. She saw Chris, Jason’s dad, taking his bags out of the car boot.
“Chris, you can live here as long as you want. This won’t be a problem for me.” She politely said.
“come on Delia, you don't have to be so kind.” Chris replied.
“Chris, really, I can take care of your sons. Don’t you worry about me or them, okay?”
“Fine.” Chris finally gave up. Aunt Delia was always so good at persuading people do to something.
Chris continued. “But on one condition. When I say we have to leave, we will leave. Okay?”
“Deal. And if you need any of my help, just ask me.” Delia said and helped him with the bags.
“Don’t worry, I sure will.” Chris replied with a smile.

“Hey Jason.” Chris walked into the room and saw his son taking out his clothes and puts them in the drawer.
“Hey dad.” Jason turned his head and said.
“How do you like it here?”
“Great. Not bad. It is not like we live here for the first time. Also, the beach is just a miles or two away from here, I can also go there anytime.”
“I thought you hate going to the beach.” Chris said with a winched.
“No. I like the beach, especially the sea.” Jason smile.
“Oh. So you like the sea.” His father asked. He was surprised. He never knew that his son likes the sea.
“Yeah. The feeling of the sea is so good. The sea water running between your toes and splashing towards your body. The feeling’s so great.”
“Oh. I like it. Maybe I’ll add it in my new novel.” His dad said and snapped his finger.
“Feel free to use it if you like.” Jason smiled and said. His father smiled too.
“Uh, I would like to go to the beach, you know, feel the breeze. I like that too.” Jason said as he walked out of the room and get his coat.
“Fine, but don’t come home too late, we are going out to eat afterwards.”
“Sure. Bye.” Jason opened the door and walked towards the beach.

“Hey Jason.” Chris walked into the room and saw his son taking out his clothes, stacking them in the drawer.
“Hey dad.” Jason turned and replied.
“How do you like it here?” Chris continued
“Not bad. It is not like we came here for the first time. Also, the beach is just a mile or two away from here, I can go there anytime.”
“I thought you hated going to the beach.” Chris said with a winched tone.
“No. I like the beach, especially the sea.” Jason smiled.
“Oh, So you like the sea.” His father said with a surprised look in his face. He was surprised. He never knew that his son likedthe sea.
“Yeah. The feeling of the sea is great.The sea water running between my toes and splashing towards my body feels great.”
“Oh love it. Maybe I’ll add your views to my new novel.” His dad said as he snapped his finger.
“Feel free to use it if you like.” Jason smiled and said his father smiled back at him
“Uh, I would like to go to the beach, you know, feel the breeze I'd love that too.” Jason said as he walked out of the room to get his coat.
“Fine, but don’t come home late, we are going out to eat later.”
“Sure. Bye.” Jason opened the door and walked out to visit the beach.

Malibu is so beautiful. Jason thought as he walked along the beach. The sea, the seagulls and hundreds of beautiful seashells hiding in the sand waiting for you to find them made him feel even more happy than usual. He found a spot and lay down on the sand His hands run through the sand. It is so warm and smooth. He thought. He look at the sky. The blue, wide sky. He likes the sky very much. He closed his eyes and dreamed about being a bird flying in the sky. The feeling’s so great.

Malibu was beautiful. Jason thought as he walked along the beach. The sea, the seagulls and hundreds of beautiful seashells hiding in the sand waiting for you to find them made him feel even more happy than usual. He found a spot and lay down on the sand his hands ran through the sand. It was warm and smooth he thought. He then looked at the sky. it was blue and wide. He liked the sky a lot. He closed his eyes and dreamt about being a bird flying in the sky. The feeling was great.

Slowly, he fell asleep… He started dreaming the same dreaming again. His body shivered and shook with fear. He screamed.

Slowly, he fell asleep… He started dreaming about the same thing again. After a while his body shivered and he shook with fear which made him scream.

His eyes opened. He saw that he was still lying on the beach, looking at the sky. His whole body was covered with sweat. He was sweating and panting heavily. Although the weather is hot, he still admitted that it was the dream that made him sweated so much.

His eyes opened and he noticed that he was still lying on the beach, looking at the sky. His whole body was covered with sweat. Although the weather was hot, he still admitted that it was the dream that made him sweat so much.

He stood up. He looked around and saw that not far away, there’s someone sitting under a tree. He looked at the person carefully. It’s a girl.

It is noon now and it’s very hot. People who live by the sea will not come the beach at this sort of time.
He started walking towards her. She’s sitting on a wooden chair. Those wooden chairs that can be folded. There’s a book in her hands. She’s reading.

He walked nearer. The girl kept staring at her book. She seems to be very focus on the book. However he saw something, something that interested him on the girl’s face. There’s a smile. He saw that she kept smiling. She felt that her smile was very, very special.

“Hi.” He mouthed out.
“Oh! Hi.” She seems to be surprised. She puts down her book and stand up. Then there was a brief silence.
Jason wondered what book were she reading that made her all spellbound. He took a glimpse of that book. The book’s name is ‘The Girl’. It was a novel written by his dad!

He put his mind back to her and looked at her. The girl seems to be staring at him.
She took a step backwards and said “Oh.”. Her face turned red. She felt embarrass about what she did just now. She quickly asked Jason. “So, I haven’t seen you before in this area, did you just move here?”
“Yeah, I just moved here, with my dad and brother.” Jason replied.
“Oh…” The girl said softly. “By the way, I am Jason Torres. Nice to meet you.” Jason continued.
“I’m Jenny Miller!” She smiled again. Suddenly, both of their eyes met. Something was caught between them through their eyes. They stared at each other like there was a spell. Until Jenny’s phone rings, and the spell was broken.

He stood up and looked around. He saw that not far away, there’s someone sitting under a tree. He looked carefully at the person . It was a girl.

It was noon now and it was very hot. People who lived by the sea did not come the beach at this sort of time. He started walking towards her. She was sitting on a wooden chair like the that could be folded. There’s a book in her hands and she was reading.

He walked closer but the girl kept staring at her book. She seemed to be focused on the book. However he saw something, something that interested him on the girl’s face. There was a smile. He noticed that she kept smiling. He felt that her smile was very special.

“Hi.” He mouthed out.
“Oh! Hi.” She seemed to be surprised. She put down her book and stood up. Then there was a brief moment of silence. Jason wondered what she was reading that made her all spellbound. He took a glimpse of that book. The book’s name was ‘The Girl’. It was a novel written by his dad!

He put his mind back to her and looked at her. The girl seemed to be staring at him.
She took a step backwards and said “Oh.” Her face turned red. She felt embarrassed about what she did just now. She quickly asked Jason. “So, I haven’t seen you around here before, did you just move?”
“Yeah, I just moved here, with my dad and brother.” Jason replied.
“Oh…” The girl said softly. “By the way, I am Jason Torres. Nice to meet you.” Jason continued.
“I’m Jenny Miller!” She smiled again. Suddenly, both of their eyes met. Something was caught between them through their eyes. They stared at each other like there was a spell. Until Jenny’s phone rings, and the spell was broken.



So if you are reading this it probably means you have been through your mistakes. so i think i made a point last time in chp 1 its almost the same thing here but i feel its better this time
The most repeated mistake was the difference between is and was, you use is in the story which is entirely incorrect.
as a story like this is written in past tense you never use "is" you always use "was". e.g "Malibu is so beautiful..."
as the story was in past tense it should be "Malibu was so beautiful.."

further more you put too many fullstops and you almost never use "And" try googling worksheets for grammer try "active passive" too it may help you a great deal.

another thing is that you never say stuff like"it was very very good" in a mature story it is informal and childish.

i corrected every thing i think if you re-read what i wrote you might know whats wrong if you have questions about what happened and why it happened just message me write reply in the comment thingy

Hey Step~! How have you been too? It is a long time since you online(I think so).
I really like you very much. You seems to be very pro in these correction thingy~~~Yes, I always mixed up the 'is' and 'was'.I am always confuse thank should I use was or is or 'ed'. I with correct from my mistakes~~~
I really want to thank you for your advise and correction. You really spend a lot of time reading my novel and correct it~~Thanks~
BY the way, had you read the rewrote chapter 1? I rewrote it and change a lot of thing.(Without the Benny and crayon and grounded things~) I with correct chapter two again~ Really, thank you very much~~~!!!

~~~Love, Dylan

Hey Step~~~ I rewrote it again~~~ I made a few changes but if you want to know you'll have to find them yourself~~~ Thank you very much~~~
Here's something I wanted to ask you- Do you think I should continued writing Chapter 3 since no one's reading them?(them=Chapter 1 and 2) I feel that no one's reading them so I thought that it is no use if i keep on writing for myself to read.I need advises)

~~~Love, Dylan