Lost

Lost

Walking down a road,
People watching me.
Wishing for my abode,
Needing to think clearly.

How did I get here?
My mother once said,
“You’ll find your place my dear.”
But all I want is my bed.

So, is the narrator homeless. Is the mother dead? That's what I got from it. Am I right? That was really good:) You are talented:)

Really good! Just a few things.

Walking down a road,
People watching me.
Wishing for my abode,- Here, know what you are trying to say, but when you use "abode", it just seems like are desperately trying to rhyme. It doesn't really fit in with the rest of the poem.It could be just me, but abode is mostly used in complicated diction. Like Pride-and-Prejudice-English. If you get what mean.
Needing to think clearly.

How did I get here?
My mother once said,
“You’ll find your place my dear.”
But all I want is my bed.

* This poem could also be a bit longer. From what i can tell, the narrator is out of house and home, but it doesn't say why, or what condition they are in, or what happened to the mother.No grammatical errors; all it needs is more detail.

Overall, good poem!You have potential!


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-jojo

Lost

Walking down a road,
People watching me.
Wishing for my abode,
Needing to think clearly.

How did I get here?
My mother once said,
“You’ll find your place my dear.”
But all I want is my bed.

This poem is okay but all I get is they are homeless and maybe their mother is dead but you need to tell us why they are homeless, it is okay to have some mystery but you've got so much here that you can't tell what is going on. The ending seems not like a ending like there should be more to the poem. Happy Writing!

I like this poem, it's short but it's sweet.

It's need for sympathy is quite overwhelming, and the poem has the same effect of a cute puppy in a window. It's a great poem. I see no obvious mistakes with the grammer or language, however you may want to watch that simplicity doesn't turn into "unknowness." I like the fact that someone picked up on homelessness, it's a very ambigous poem.

I think this poem has potential for extension, but try not to dwell to much on the actual character, I feel that may be too cliche.

Good luck, you have great potential.

You have just been reviewed by Hayley!

I liked this one. Although, there's still the same absolute vagueness from your last one.
Maybe you should work on your detail. So that you can tell the story of your poems better.

It's not bad, I wish it could have been a little longer with a stronger emphasis towards detail, but the imagery was simple,but due to a lack of detail the concept wasn't.I would love to read some more of your work. 6.5/10