Spoiler
Eight years ago, Samantha and her brother, Evan Chase, lived through a murder that killed the rest of their family. Parents and sibling dead, the Chase siblings have moved through six foster homes, only to wind up at a care centre once again. Hurt, angry and rebellious, Samantha has spent her entire life avoiding attatchments. Friends are few and far between, and she does everything she can to scare people from getting close to her. After getting Evan and herself kicked out of their last home, they are now residing at Henridge, a foster care facility in New Jersey. Determined to keep a distinct distance from everyone else, one resident in particular is making that plan rather difficult. Kieran Ritcher is willing to do whatever it takes to force his way into Samantha's life, whether she likes it or not.
My time spent at Henridge, or “the home” as I was beginning to call it, got better after that lunch date with Kieran. At first it was only him who wanted to be friends, I honestly didn’t want to get close to anybody in fear of having to say goodbye. My heart and my brain told me that nothing good could possibly come out of a friendship with anybody in this home, and I vowed to do everything in my power to keep away. I spent as much time as I could out of the facility and when I was there I found myself sneaking around, trying to stay out of view. Kieran was always slipping notes under my door, asking Evan of my whereabouts and trying to catch me off guard.
This boy, who I had known for a total of one month, seemed to be changing me without even doing anything! After our little chat at the café, I became increasingly aware of how much he knew about me, and how vulnerable that made me feel. I had never had a true friend before. At sixteen years old, I was completely convinced that I would be alone for the rest of my life. But now Kieran was here, pushing himself right into my world like it was the easiest thing he’d ever done. It gave me entirely mixed and crazy feelings as part of me liked the idea of having someone other than Evan in my life, but the stronger part was stubborn and scared.
Eventually, after weeks of ignoring him and being my stubborn self, I found myself giving in to him for a second time. As my only defence, his persistence and constant pestering was becoming impossible to ignore. It was a strange feeling, these emotions that I was allowing myself to experience. It was as if, even though my mind was strongly opposed, my body just allowed me to become at ease in his presence. He was easy to talk to, comfortable to be around, and he understood that sometimes I just needed to be alone. This boy that I found myself spending hours with every day accepted me and all of the flaws that I possessed.
Evan teased me constantly, saying that I was finally softening up, but I knew his assumptions were incorrect. Evan didn’t know about the smoking, the drugs, or the fights. He was completely unaware of my illegal escapades taking place in the city and I did my best to keep it hidden from him, Kieran, and even the people I didn’t talk to in case they felt the need to expose my secrets. So far, nobody had a clue and I planned to keep it that way. I didn’t need my brother watching my every move. We worried about each other too much to begin with and I wasn’t about to dump this on him as well. Of the two of us, Evan had always been the more sensitive, and it worried me how this knowledge might affect him. As far as I was concerned there wasn’t anything wrong with it anyways. A bit of nicotine and a bowl of pot here and there wasn’t going to kill me. Teenagers were on much worse than that anyways.
***
Last night we had a visitor. We don’t know who it was but the writing on the letter bubbled and swooped like a womans’. Nobody noticed the baby on the porch until the morning. A younger boy had opened the door and there she was, resting in a small baby seat. The letter said that the baby’s name was Lucy, so that’s what it will stay. I couldn’t imagine how a mother could just leave her daughter there and walk away. I had known my parents for the first eight years of my life and I clung to the memories. Sometimes it was the memories that would calm me down and keep me sane. To think of never knowing who they were sent shivers down my spine. It killed me to know that this darling little girl would grow up without a real family. But then again, she was still young and that gave her a much greater advantage of becoming a foster child or, although I had never come across such a thing, I had heard of some extremely successful adoption stories.
As cute as they were, kids freaked me out. The younger they were the more they scared me. They were so tiny and fragile. They depended on everyone else and they seemed to trust anyone. I had never had that kind of responsibility and I knew I wasn’t ready for it. It was for that reason that I stayed as far away from little Lucy as possible. It wasn’t that I didn’t like the girl. Oh no, she was cute, sweet, and she didn’t cry half as much as I expected her to, but I just didn’t want to get too close. From the distance that I kept, I could see how angelic she was, capturing the hearts of all those that met her. Despite that, I continued to stay away until it was absolutely impossible.
“Oh don’t be so boring. We could go skating, it’ll be fun!” Kieran was sitting beside me in the entertainment room, laughing at the horrified look on my face. It had been four days since Lucy had arrived and he had been trying to get me on a date with him for the past two weeks, but I refused.
“I don’t skate.” That was true enough, I figured. I didn’t skate. But that wasn’t because I didn’t like it, I had never even tried on an ice skate, never mind going on the dreadfully slippery surface with a pair strapped to my feet! No thank you, making a fool out of myself really did not appeal to me.
“Somebody take her, please, I’m getting a headache,” the voice was just another background noise until the girl that was holding Lucy plunked the baby down into my arms.
“You take her!” she said, walking away without a single glance back. My eyes were wide, my jaw hanging open as I stared down at the little girl. Her bright green eyes were squished shut, pink little lips forming an O so large I didn’t think it possible, and a screeching wail was being forced from her mouth. My body was rooted to the spot, stiff and awkward as can be. My arms were out in front of me, holding Lucy as far from my chest as was possible, as if she was some foreign thing.
“C-can you take her? Seriously, take her,” I begged, stuttering out my words.
This was the first time I had ever gotten near her, but it wasn’t just that. This was the first time I had ever held a baby and I had no idea what I was doing. The only thing running through my mind was that whatever I did, I was not going to drop her. Kieran stared at me a moment before laughing. I was holding her of course, she wasn’t exactly in immediate danger, unless I moved at all but clearly I didn‘t want her near me. It didn’t feel right and I was sure I was doing it all wrong. It took a minute before Kieran saw that the horrified expression on my face hadn’t disappeared and he realized that I was being serious.
“You’re joking, have you never held a baby before?” There was amusement once again in his voice and the hint of a smirk on his face as I firmly shook my head, my eyes never leaving the little body in my arms. I only lifted my gaze for a split second when I felt the cushion sink as Kieran came closer.
“Here, don’t be so stiff... it’s easy,” and with that he carefully positioned my hands and arms so that Lucy’s head was resting on the inside of my elbow and she was lying in the cradle I had created. Once I’d let out the breath that I had been holding, I managed a small smile and looked down at her. She really was a pretty baby, with green eyes, white blonde hair and a porcelain complexion. In twenty years time, she would get any man she desired. As for now, she was like a little doll.
“See, it’s not so bad is it?” Kieran’s voice filled my head, reminding me that he was still there. He was right, it wasn’t bad at all, and after I’d gotten over the “first holding” experience I couldn’t seem to stop. Over the next two weeks Lucy became the little sister I never had. I was always the first to help out with her and once in a while I would take her to the local park. She wasn’t old enough to do anything, but she seemed to enjoy watching the children play. As I spent more time with her I couldn’t help but feel sorry for the mother that wasn’t going to experience how wonderful life was with Lucy.