Our Song

Yess. Still a poem. I have major conflicting emotions, can you tell?


This one’s our song

Everything we wanted

This one’s for us

Even when we weren’t



I’ve gotten tired of waiting for you

Waiting for you to make your move

Now I’m sick with the cold

I’ve been chasing you, running after you



And the darkness is closing in on me

I’m watching you walk away

And I’m standing in the cold

As you look back, one more time.



And I know you’re watching me too

And I know you feel the same way I do

I hope you know I miss you.



This one’s our song

Everything we wanted

This one’s for us

Even when we weren’t

I love how the poem goes in full circle to the end and repeats the first stanza very beautiful.

And I know you’re watching me too

And I know you feel the same way I do

I hope you know I miss you.

Love this part.

There is'nt very much to say as this is a wonderful poem and I hope you keep writing lots as I love this.

I thought it was a sweet poem but I thought it was rather spelled out and simple. You could have made it more complex in terms of imagery and figurative language.

Another thing I think the poem could have done with was some punctuation - since there is none. However, there are those who don't believe in punctuating poetry, so that's just my opinion.

Overall, I thought it was a nice idea, but I didn't really feel it very much. Sorry.

Keep writing and trying, because you have talanted ideas and passion. There's only one thing that could hapen - you'll improve!