Suicidal Moon

Hey this poem was really good and I really enjoyed the rhyme scheme. You said that you were sorry that the poem was lengthy but I disagree. Sure it's not one of the five line poems talking about something simple like a season but it's not a narrative poem either. I feel as if the poem was any shorter it wouldn't feel complete. Only critique I have is the punctuation. It seems that you were trying to keep the pattern of four lines per stanza with two sentences per stanza and two lines per sentence. The problem with this is that some of the "sentences" aren't sentences and some of the commas aren't needed as the two parts flow together nicely without the need of a pause. I hope this helps.

~Megan

I'm not going to lie, when I clicked this poem I expected something much different. But this poem is actually incredibly good. I'm not too into the whole "suicide" or "wrist cutting" thing, but the way you wrote it made it very moving.
The last stanza was probably the best part for me.

You took me by surprise.

I live in this world,
Of confusion and doubt,
Where labels mean everything,
And I am labeled out.

I’m breathing, I’m breathing,
Though I’m not quite sure why.
I’m not at a point,
Where I can just try.

I cannot remember,
What it felt like before,
But my arms still remember,
They still keep the score.

What’s killing me now,
Are the wide cuts inside.
I can say I am free,
Say I have nothing to hide.

I can claim to be strong,
Say I’m healing with the skin,
But I can’t seem to stop,
This bleeding from within.

Sadness stains my eyes,
Dropping from blue.
I try so hard to fight,
But the tears still come true. Are you sure with this one?

I’m wandering now,
Lost and alone.
Happiness and the past,
Are things I can’t own.

The darkness creeps in,
Demanding red beads.
Telling me these pains,
Are my only needs.

Right next to the lines,
I place the blade.
My heart starts to run,
From choices I made.

I’m falling asleep,
To a deadly tune.
The one light in my life,
Is the endless moon:

Alone with the stars,
So bright in the sky.
But maybe even the moon,
Has reasons to die.

I'm not really fond of dark poems..I'd rather read a political one instead..But when I clicked this one..I'm astonished..
..I'm impressed with the imagery and the rhyme..I sensed the spirit of this poem, full of emotions..That's it, I love your poem and keep writing!