Through It All

A/N: I know this looks really long but, please, bear with me here. I need good, honest reviews. This is a project that I intend to finish. I've the entire plot figured out and now I just need flesh to its bones. This is rated 16+ because of some overly bad word and subtle hints at incest. There will be no incest through the whole thing, no actual incest at all really, but if the two weren’t related and of different genders, you would think they were dating. Just think of it as brotherly love.

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Through It All~


It was dark, but, then again, it was always dark, and cold, terribly and unfathomably cold. The only warmth came from the person sleeping next to the malnutrition blond, and even he had a temperature to envy ice. To make already horrid matters worse, their captor was determined to make things even more dreadful by supplying them with only one set of clothing, a pair of boxers and a thin t-shirt. Those were all the covering both boys knew. The awake boy's situation was even worse than his twins because, being the youngest but stronger boy, he'd given up his shirt to his older look-alike when he'd fallen asleep, determined to make his rest just a bit more comfortable. As if things could ever really be comfortable.

He knew summer must have come and gone many times during their stay, it was only natural, but there was only one temperature in his personal mixed up hell. Cold. Had Mother Nature given up on them? Did she just overlook their freezing bodies and go on about her life, not bothering to send even a little wisp of warmth their way? The blond wouldn't mind actual Hell. He actually envied the souls who were forced to burn for all of eternity. At least they were warm. Oh, the things he'd give to be in Hell, if only for a few moments. It must feel so nice. To burn. To die...

"Roman? B-Brother?" Roman snapped out of his thoughts, which were toeing on the edge of suicidal. He looked in the general direction of the voice and blindly reached out a pale and numb hand in search for another equally pale, equally numb match.

"Yes, Rane?" The other beside him said nothing in return, just squeezed his younger brother's fingers and crawled forward a bit to lay his head in Roman's lap, who in turn sighed and brought up his other hand to stroke his identical’s hair. Everything was once again quiet and still. They both said nothing as they sat frozen in silence, trying to keep the chattering of their teeth under control as not to disturb the other if he was thinking of something.

"Roman?"

"Hmm?" There was a short moment of silence in which Rane quickly swallowed and wet his lips.

"You're colder than usual and it's not fair...on you. I'll be fine, please just... You can have your share of clothing back. Okay? Take it." Roman sighed and shook his head before sliding his hand down from his older's hair to gently lay it on his soft cheek. Rane leaned into the touch and closed his eyes. Suddenly remembering his motives, Rane shook his head and sat up; he stared into the empty blackness he knew his brother's face was. "I'm serious, Roman!"

Roman smiled sadly and slowly reached out until he could once again grab his other's fingers. Rane jerked away violently, which was no surprise to Roman. Instead, the boy just chuckled lightly at his older's reaction.

"You're so predictable." Roman laughed again and ran his fingers through his un-cut hair, but Rane wasn't amused. Blood rushed to his cheeks and he growled lowly before pouncing on his younger half, throwing him to the ground and pinning him there by raising Roman's arms above his head and holding them down with his knees. Roman laughed harder, a light and carefree sound that made Rane's head spin.

"You're impossible!"

"Oh, I'm very possible, brother." Rane blushed harder at his younger's response and started with his shirt, taking it off quickly before dumping it on the face of the one under him.

"Rane, I wasn't joking when I-"

"Shh, I have a plan." Roman grew quiet. The last time Rane uttered the words "I have a plan" they ended up whipped and without food for God knows how long, Roman doubted even God could recall how long. They both still had scars all over their backs from the incident, scars that would never fade or go away. Sometimes, when they'd fall asleep, they would have vivid nightmares of the whip tearing into their skin, blood pooling beneath them as they cried out for the mother they never knew. Their hands were tied above them by a thick and rough rope which hung from a ring bolted to the ceiling. They were facing each other, forced to watch the others pain and know their own was not far behind.

"Rane!" Crack! "Please, leave Rane alone!" Crack! Blood flowed from a fresh opening in Roman's back onto the ground and into a steadily growing pool of blood. The blond groaned and arched his back against the blow. Tears burned his eyes and his fist were clenched into tight balls. His fingernails ripped into the soft skin of his palm, making even more blood run down his arms. "I'll take Rane's hits! Just let him down!" Crack! Roman screamed out and twisted frantically. The welts on his back burned and stung. Bled and bled and bled.

"Roman!" Crack! Crack! Crack! The whips flew down mercilessly on Rane's back, the boy had no time to finish his screaming from one strike before another was tearing into his flesh. Crackcrackcrackcrackcrackcrack! Rane fell limp in his bonds, his head hung limply and his blood splattered hair hung in front of his face.

"Rane! Rane, no! Brother! Ahhh!" The whip cut into Roman's back again, silencing him. The person behind Roman laughed and called to his partner.

"He fucking fainted! What a pussy! Wake 'em up, Joe." Whoever Joe was laughed and sliced into Rane's back again, cackling the whole time. Rane's body just hung there, giving no response to the strike. Roman could taste bile rising in the back of his throat at the sight.

"He's unconscious! You monsters, leave him the hell alone!" A whip bit into his skin but Roman didn't care. "You're sick-" Crack! "Vile!" Crack! "I'm sorry, Rane!" Crack! Crack! Joe had come around and was now helping the other with Roman. Two whips were hitting him at once. The pain caused white dots to fill his vision and he could barely breathe. "Never again," Roman whispered. He could feel himself fading away and he didn't mind. There would be no pain where he was going. "Let's never do this again..."

Roman flinched and sucked in a breath.

"Rane, that's-"

"I know what you're thinking, Roman. I was thinking that too, but it won't end up like that. We'll get away this time, the both of us. We'll be free! Trust me, Roman." Rane leaned forward to grab his brother's hands. His face was mere inches away from touching Roman's. he could feel his other's breath ghosting across his face. "This will work, I know it."

"What if it doesn't?"

"What if it does?"

"Rane..."

"No, shush."

"But-" Rane leaned forward and pressed his lips against Roman's forehead. Roman inhaled sharply and let his pretest die in his throat. His older's lips were smooth and hot breath slipped through a slight part.

"Please," Rane breathed, keeping his same position. He squeezed Roman's hands and leaned more into the boy. "Trust me."


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A/N: I ran this through Word and fixed a lot of spelling mistakes I had and any other things like that. I'm working on the second part and I hope you all will stick around for it. Thanks, and bye! Don't forget to review! Reviews make me happy.

This good write more please (Unless it is done already)

This good write more please (Unless it is done already)

Wow, so first of all I have to say i REALLY like this. Second, I was confused by the random references to a Yuui? Not sure what that was about, maybe a name changed that you missed, or something else?
Anyways, I don't really ever have the time to do really complete reviews, but I have to say that this is really good. Please keep going with it, and keep me posted when the next part is out.

Hey Reise, I'm here for a review!

First off, I found the characters' names to be too similar and confusing. I know that people tend to name their twins something very similar, but it always frustrates me; I'm not that good with remembering names, so it's hard for me to keep track of who's who. Just something I thought I'd mention.

ReisePiecey wrote:The only warmth came from the person sleeping next to the malnutritioned blond, and even he had a temperature to envy ice.

I'm not sure what you mean by a "temperature to envy ice." Could you clear this up?

To make already horrid matters worse, their captor was determined to make things even more dreadful by supplying them with only one set of clothing, a pair of boxers and a thin t-shirt.

You said "to make things worse" already, which is essentially the same as "make things even more dreadful"; it's too repetitive, so cut one out or rephrase it so that it's not mirroring what you just said at the beginning of the sentence.

The awake boy's situation was even worse than his twins because, being the youngest but stronger boy, he'd given up his shirt to his older look-alike when he'd fallen asleep, determined to make his rest just a bit more comfortable.

First, "the awake boy" sounds awkward. You could easily change it to something like, "The boy currently awake was in a worse situation than his twin's..."
Second, you've got too many unspecified "he's" and "his" floating around. The green is the boy who's awake, the orange is the boy who's asleep. See how it can get confusing knowing which guy you're talking about when you don't specify?

He knew summer must have come and gone many times during their stay, semicolon here it was only natural, but there was only one temperature in his personal mixed up hell.

Not sure how you go from saying it's natural that summer's come and gone and then switch to talking about his present situation. Too disjointed; there's not a lot holding the two separate subjects together.

The last time Rane uttered the words "I have a plan" they ended up whipped and without food for God knows how long, Roman doubted even God could recall how long.

New sentence after "God knows how long." I noticed you tend to have some run-ons in your work, so it's something to keep an eye on.

Blood flowed from a fresh opening in Roman's back onto the ground and into a steadily growing pool of blood.

Too repetitive, cut one out.

His face was mere inches away from touching Roman's. he could feel his other's breath ghosting across his face.

Sounds off. Change the wording here.

His older's lips were smooth and hot breath slipped through a slight part.

Again, has a very awkward, unnatural sound. Try rewording it to give a little more description and a picture for the reader.

Okay, so that's all I have to nitpick on. Overall, I think you've got an interesting start; however, I don't know if it'd exactly hook me into wanting to read more. It was a little confusing with the brothers, and the whipping flashback felt a little clichéd; I've read scenes like it before and nothing really stood out. I think if you expanded some more on your characters, there'd be more empathy from the reader for the boys, which would help to make their story more personal.

So, that's all I have to say! Please PM me if you've got any questions or whatnot. Keep up the good work!