Hey everyone. Usually I write fantasy love stories, but I started this while I was on vacation and I think I have a good story. I think a lot of girls can relate to my character - Ivy. My first chapter is a little rough, and doesn't look at all like it's a romance novel, but trust me it is. I wrote this story on my own experiences and my own issues I had with my ex boyfriend and how I transitioned out of it and learned to love and trust again. In some of my chapters there is sexual content and swearing and violence. Thanks everyone! I'll post more soon!
This chapter contains violence and sexual content!
Chapter one
Every moment of your life, including this one, is a fresh start. - Jean-Louis Servan-Schreiber
Today was going to be the start of my new life, I promised myself that as I walked from my College to my apartment. Snow licked my face as I walked into the wind, turning down my street.
I was glad and scared all at once. Glad that I was finally done and scared because now I had to escape. The counselor at school, I think her name was Miss. Wersma, was not at the least excited that I was leaving.
She didn’t want me to drop out, to her, being a early childhood educator was the perfect job for me after I was done my education but if only she knew the truth. I could no longer stay here. I couldn’t tell her the real reason of course. Instead I lied and told her that financially I couldn’t finish my course. She shrugged and started the process of pulling me out of school.
Mom and Dad knew that I was dropping out of school, they weren’t that thrilled eithier, but when I told them that I just couldn’t see myself being a ECE teacher they understood. But I didn’t tell them the real truth.
Only I knew the real truth why I was dropping out of school.
The sky was dark, an inky blue and the sun had set leaving nothing but night. I sighed, it was only five o’clock. I let myself in the basement apartment and the smell of marijuana consumed me.
The real reason I was leaving was sitting on the sofa, his feet up on the coffee table and a blunt smoking from his left hand.
Troy, my boyfriend of one year and I had moved in together in September for school. Had I known the truth about him I would have never agreed to live here but used to be so good, not the angry, sleazy type he is now. But a fun loving character who would never hurt me.
We had met through a mutual friend and our home towns were right beside each other. I had fallen instantly in love with him. But since we moved in together the stress of us being together all the time got to him. Now he was angry, resentful, and extremely obsessive.
It truly scared me. Scared me enough that I had to leave and escape him. If he knew I was planning on leaving he’d probably try to stop me. Get a little rough even too. The last two months he’s gotten rough with me at least once a week. He never hit me, but he was pushy. He was controlling.
Troy’s blue, blood shot eyes flickered to where I stood at the door. I stripped my jacket off and took off my hat, letting my brown hair spill out over my shoulders. I twirled around and hung up my jacket, Troy’s eyes stayed on me the whole time.
“Why are you so late?” Troy asked. I turned to face him, inhaling and bracing myself for another fight.
“I had to go to the library,” I lied, “Finishing up a child development project.”
Troy brought the joint up to his lips and sucked. I cringed at the smell, it would take days and tons of Febreze to get rid of it. But I’d be gone by then, Dad was picking me up tomorrow and Troy would be in school.
“I’m going out tonight with Kevin and Danny,” Troy said, as I walked over to the dinning room table.
“You went out last night?” I sighed, secretly I hoped that he’d change and become the boy I had fallen in love with, “I thought we could watch a movie or something tonight?”
Troy rolled his eyes, “I already said I was going out with them Ivy.” He smothered the end of his joint in the ash tray and put the rest of the joint in his cigarette pack. “You can’t have me every night and plus weren’t you pissed at me last night? Why would I want to hang around here all night if you get pissed at me for no reason.”
My mouth dropped and I began to protest. “You went to the rippers last night Troy! And you got a lap dance from some dirty dancer. Any girl would be mad at their boyfriends for that!”
Troy rolled his eyes and clicked his tongue. “Whatever. Tomorrow if you aren’t being a bitch we’ll hang out.”
Anger filled me but I was so used to it. Instead I dropped my bag on the table and walked away to my room. I collapsed on my bed and closed my eyes, waiting for the emotions to come and go, but they never came and I knew it was because I didn’t love him anymore. I didn’t care that he cheated on me or called me names. I didn’t care that we didn’t have the chemistry we used to and I didn’t care that he no longer followed me to try and work things out.
The only thing that was keeping us together was his anger and obsessive personality.
Troy thought of me as a game now, he once told me that before. It was the game of keeping me, he liked the fights we had. I knew it made him feel big and tough but I just couldn’t stand it any long. My emotions have ran dry and there was nothing left for Troy.
When we had just started to fight I truly tried to make things work. I blamed myself for his anger, apologized, and begged for forgiveness. Even though it wasn’t my fault. The first time he cheated on me I blamed myself, because I hadn’t let myself lose my virginity to him and he was being needy. I thought about giving in and giving him the right to my virginity, but I couldn’t let myself do it. And then when he started pushing and shoving, punching holes through the drywall and the door I knew that it was only a matter of time before my name was written in the headlines. Then, both our lives would be ruined.
I heard Troy leave shortly after our tiny argument, and I relaxed.
My dreams were the only thing keeping me going. I had it all planned out, the working aboard documents were in my dresser, I was going to sell my books from school, and my tiny car that was parked in my parents driveway an hour from here was being sold as well. Soon I’d have enough to leave this place, and go away for awhile. Troy would never be able to find me. Ireland was to far for him to follow.
Mom and Dad knew I was planning on leaving, they had asked about Troy and I had told them that he was comfortable with having a long distance relationship. If they knew I was running away from him, my Dad might kill him and force me to stay.
Saying that I was running away made me sad, in a way. I don’t like people thinking I was the type to run away from my problems. But I knew if I stayed here, I would never get away from Troy, and plus I needed some adventure and some uncertainly in my life. Working aboard was the best way for me to accomplish that.
The program was great, it was going to set me up with a job when I arrived in Dublin and a hotel for a few days until I could find a place to rent. As soon as I had my money I could leave. I was truly excited yet scared that Troy would continue his game. Troy was just as selfish as he was stubborn.
Tomorrow I was leaving here and by the end of next week my car should be sold. Ireland here I come.
I must have drifted of to sleep, because the sound of crashing brought me to my senses.
Troy’s voice was coming from down the hall, followed by laughter, a lot of laugher. I rolled out of bed and planted my feet on the ground. Then I found my sweater and wrapped it around my shoulders. I walked out of my room and down the hallway to the source of the sound but when I got there, I truly wished I hadn’t followed my curiosity.
Troy and his two friends, Kevin and Danny, were standing in the kitchen with quite a few of their new friends, who were all girls. The girls outnumbered the boys, five to three. They all had cans of beer in there hands and the smell of marijuana was sickening. Smoke curled in the kitchen light and someone had spilt a alcoholic beverage all over the dining room table. I winced and picked up my bag but it was to late it was already drenched in what smelled like vodka.
“Oopsies!” One of the girls said, a blond who wore nothing but a miniskirt and tight halter top, “My bad sweetie!”
My mouth hung open and I gawked at Troy who was watching me with a smug look. I dropped my bag on the ground and fished around it until I found my wallet, which was also soaked in Vodka.
A black haired girl who wore as much as the blonde jumped up on the counter beside Troy and took a swig of his drink. Then she put her head on his shoulder and glared at me. Troy smiled and put his arm around her shoulder.
“Are we to loud for you Ivy?” Troy laughed, and the black haired girl chimed in.
“Ya are we to loud?” She slurred.
My hands trembled in anger, “I’m going to bed, Troy you can sleep in your own bed tonight.”
The whole room laughed and I flushed crimson. Then Troy spoke, “I was going to sleep in my own bed anyways, it’s not like you have sex with me, so why would I want to sleep with you?”
Tears stung my eyes, how could he be so cruel? “We are over Troy.”
I ran away before I could hear the room laugh. I locked my door behind me and listened to the laugher coming from the kitchen. No one ran after me, but I could hear them yelling for me, challenging me to come back.
Tears spilt out of my green eyes as I heard them calling me names from the kitchen. Nasty names that were not me, I was not a slut, or a skank. I hadn’t been a bitch, and I hadn’t been rude. So why were they being so mean?
I ignored them, and instead let sleep take over me for the second time.
A fist hammered at my door, making it shake and tremble in the frame.
“Ivy!” Troy’s voice came from the other side.
“Ivy! Let me in!”
I found my lamp and clicked it on. Light brightened my room and I figured out it was still night. I found my cell phone that was sitting on my nightstand and clicked the button, the time flashed before my eyes – 3:12.
“What the hell,” I sighed and rolled out of bed. I unlocked my door and Troy came walking in.
His eyes were enthralled from the liquor he had consumed and I knew I had to embrace myself for whatever he was getting me into. His shaggy blond hair was messed and ruffled and a big red hicky stood out on his neck.
“Mmm, Ivy baby, I really want a virgin right now,” He whispered and laughed. I knew that if I didn’t fight back he’d take me.
“Don’t you get it?” I whimpered. “ I broke up with you! I’m leaving tomorrow”
Troy ignored me and began to corner me, herding me towards my bed. I knew I had to run and get away from him but he was bigger then me and would probably catch me if I did it now. Plus fear froze me.
“Have sex with me,” He said and I could see his want flash in his twinkling eyes. “It would fix all our problems.”
My fists clenched and tears stung my eyes. I couldn’t give him the satisfaction of crying, I couldn’t give him that.
“No Troy, we’re over!” I hissed and stood my guard.
His face twisted into a smile. This was the game to him, he was going to fight with me until I gave in. But in this case, I would not lose my virginity to him, never would I lose it to him.
I pulled my hand back and lashed out at his face, the sound of my palm slapping his skin ripped in the air. His eyes changed from delight to anger and I relaxed. I would rather he beat me than rape me.
Troy’s hand came up and grabbed my wrist then he started to shake.
“Why are you being such a bitch, Why are you doing this to me!” He pushed me on the bed, I landed with a thump, “You walk around seducing me all the fucking time and you never have sex with me! Your boyfriend, we’ve been together for a year now and you still treat me like a pervert.”
My eyes widened and I didn’t understand his drunken slur. Seduce him? Never. Troy began to shake his head and he started unbuttoning his pants. My stomach felt sick and I had the sudden urge to throw up.
Fear choked me like razor wire, constricting my throat forcing my breath to be jagged. It was hopeless, I thought, Troy was going to rape me and I’d lose my virginity to him and he’d get what he want.
To my advantage, Troy struggled with his buttons I took it as a chance and began to roll off the bed. My feet planted on the ground and I sprung of the floor board heading for the door.
“Stupid bitch,” Troy caught up to me in one stride and clasped my collar bone in his gigantic hand. The he shoved me hard against the drywall, slamming the back of my head against the wall.
“What do you think your doing? Huh Ivy?” His fist hammered the drywall, making it crumple beside me head.
I winced and began to plead with him, begging him to stop, “Please Troy just stop! I’m sorry but please don’t do this to me! I’ll stay with you, I’ll be good.”
Troy laughed in my face.
I was scared, truly scared. He’s only acted this way once but he never tried to have sex with me. Sex was an important thing to me, I wasn’t religious but every girl remembers her first time. I wanted the first time for me to be special. A night to remember. A night, not like this.
Troy’s mouth crashed hard onto mine and I gagged on the taste of the vodka that stained his breath. My fists balled and I started to slam his chest, he laughed at me, at my fear and I began to scream. No one would hear me but I was going to make this experience horrible for him.
“Shut up!” He hissed and then I heard the footsteps from down the hall.
I was never happier to hear Kevin’s voice. “Yo man! What’s going on?”
Troy let go of me and quickly did up his pants. I slumped down the drywall feeling defeated.
“Nothing,” Troy glared at me then left the room, “Lets get out of here man.”
Their footsteps went down the hall and a few minutes later I heard the front door shut. The tears began to fall like a tropical rain storm. I sobbed and shook, terrified he’d come back and finish me off. I couldn’t find the courage to stand and leave, I was nothing but a coward.
I fell asleep with that lingering thought.
Luckily for me Troy didn’t return that night.
