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Last edited by RacheDrache on Thu Jan 20, 2011 3:41 am, edited 1 time in total.
I don't fangirl. I fandragon.

Have you thanked a teacher lately? You should. Their bladder control alone is legend.




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Rachael! I love this.

I couldn't find any nitpicks. THen again, I wasn't looking, I was busy reading!

What's great about your chapters is that I get to fall in love with new characters every time. The story doesn't get boring because you have such a good grasp on your characters. They each have their own unique personalities, *kae, for instance* and they are a pleasure to discover.

I can't wait to read part two, and find out what he knows!

Tanya :D

P.S sorry this wasn't more helpful, but you didn't give me anything bad to work with! haha




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Rach! I'm so sorry I haven't been reviewing this... I seriously fail at finding something to critique in your writing... This isn't even going to be a proper review. I just want to make sure that you know I'm still reading, and loving, this. :)

You're too good... It's appalling. *Shakes head*

Sorry to repeat what Tanya's already said, but I adore your characters. I'm a simple child, so I'd expect myself to have been confused by now with all of the different characters. Surprisingly though, I'm not at all lost to as of who is who. I think that what you're doing right is giving each one of them a different personality - each one of them exciting and interesting to read about.

The way you word things is wonderful; it sounds mature, but at the same time, I don't strain myself to understand what you're saying and what is going on. You have a lovely balance between descriptions and actions throughout the piece, and you use them in such a lovely way. Basically, you rock.

Keep writing, (Otherwise I'll personally come to your house with a sledgehammer and a passion for murder)

xoxo Skins
I didn't know what to put here so I put this.



For a short space of time I remained at the window watching the pallid lightnings that played above Mont Blanc and listening to the rushing of the Arve, which pursued its noise way beneath. The same lulling sounds acted as a lullaby to my too keen sensations; when I placed my head upon my pillow, sleep crept over me; I felt it as it came and blessed the giver of oblivion.
— Mary Shelley, Frankenstein