Hate You for Loving You

You told me,
You told me that you loved me,
You told me that I was special,
That you would always care for me.

I believed,
I believed you when you said this,
I believed you loved me,
That you cared for me.

They told me,
They told me to stay away from you,
They told me you could only lead to trouble,
That you did not really love me.

I did not listen,
I did not listen to their pleas,
Their pleas for me to stop,
Their pleas for me to stay away.

In the end,
In the end I got hurt,
In the end you did not love me,
You did not care for me.

In the end,
In the end they were right,
In the end all you did was hurt me,
Leave me in my pain.

I wish,
I wish I would have listened,
I wish I had not been blinded,
Blinded by your words of love.

You did not,
You did not love me,
You did not care for me,
I was not special.

I am stupid,
I am stupid for trusting you,
I am stupid for believing you,
I am stupid for turning away from my friends.

Why,
Why did it have to be this way?
Why did it have to end in pain?
Why did it have to end in heartbreak?

Did I,
Did I do something wrong?
Did I do something to upset you?
I did not mean to.

You said you loved me,
I said I loved you too,
But now you say it was all a lie,
For that I hate you.

You said you cared for me,
I said I cared for you too,
But now you say it was all a lie,
For that I hate you.

You said I was special,
I said you were special too,
But now you say it was a lie,
For that I hate you.

This pain,
This pain I am suffering,
It is because of you,
It is because of your lies.

I hate you,
But I cannot help but still love you,
For that reason,
I hate you most of all.

I'm not very good at reviews yet, but I do know that this is an awesome poem. I loved reading, but I did notice a few grammatical errors.


"Why?
Why did it have to be this way?
Why did it have to end in pain?
Why did it have to end in heartbreak?

Did I,
Did I do something wrong?
Did I do something to upset you?
I did not mean to."

You have the same problem I do. You and I forget that poems need punctuation such as periods and question marks, not just commas. (I do that a lot too.) I hope this was helpful, keep on writing.

Hello I'm LastPaladin and I shall be your reviewer right off the bat I shall say this. This is bad. Honestly it's 'woe is me' moan moan poetry, contrived, cliché and overall dull and boring. Look anywhere online and you'll find a poem like this, it's not original not great and worse of all just plain weak. We've heard the whiny emo teens complain about things like in every which form.

Firstly you whine and it's not even creative it's a couple of phrases with no poetic licence except that of a generic pop song about heart break and other such trash. It goes on and on, it same old message hear on countless variation, phrases that don't stand out in this day and age, angst overload and no attempt at metaphors, similes or any language technique, this could just be classified as a rant at it's most basic form, but even that is a compliment, it's a poorly assembled blog post that just complains but doesn't let us into the emotion.

Overall, read more poems and you shall see what works and what does, saying same thing over and over, works only when done right and doesn't come across as emo, in this case it does.

Hope this help.

wow that is amazing attually brought me to tears! i really liked it and it gave off the empression of sorrow and regret it's got good grammer and i can't seem to find any spelling mistakes! to improve i would say well there doesn't seem anything that could improve it, it's perfect how it is really!!

Hiya. I found some parts to be repetitive. I found it slightly boring. The emotion is not right.. let's just say that. I'm never good at reviewing poems. But I can at least tell you what I thought, right?
Sure, it has a message worth reading it for but the way it's written wasn't exactly right to me.
~Ladypurple.

I apologise if this seems a little redundant after Vern's (LastPaladin) review, but this seems very cliche and kind of whiny. You're basically saying the same thing over and over; similar reasons for your hatred of the subject of the poem, and that you hate him for it. This could easily be reduced to a few stanzas and the point would be clear, however that wouldn't make it any less overdone or any more creative. I could sum it up in one short sentence: "You lied that you loved me, and for that I hate you." Have you not seen this a thousand times in a thousand different poems? To be honest, I didn't even feel the emotion in this one.

I hope I helped. Sorry if I was a bit harsh.
~Razi

Hey, Ish here to review. ^-^

I'll start off by saying this:
The poem wasn't necessarly aweful, but it wasn't wonderful, either. Like Pall said, it's all so overused. The same angst, the same cliche phrases that don't hold any power anymore. I've seen so many poems that look like this. They don't have any powerful imagery or similes, metaphors...

It all makes the emotion that's supposed to be there... well, it makes it so that it's just not there. We need some fresh lines, fresh feelings. Otherwise, it's just boring and you find yourself skim-reading it rather than actually getting into it. Spin in some more fresh emotional imagery so that it seems more like a poem than a rant with flow.

Which brings me to something that I did like about it. I liked the lay-out. It flows well for the most part. One more thing is that it seemed to be rather repetitive at the end. A lot of "I hate you's" were in there, amoung other things.

The poem, I would like to say has potential, but it will need a lot of editing. I know you can do much better than this, so keep trying.

I hope I helped at least a bit.

Sorry you guys. I really suck at poetry, but I thought I'd give it a shot

fictionfanatic wrote:Sorry you guys. I really suck at poetry, but I thought I'd give it a shot

Don't worry about it. I can't write poetry at all. We didn't mean to beat you down or anything. We want to help you. I hope I can at least read what you're good at sometime.
~Ladypurple

fictionfanatic wrote:Sorry you guys. I really suck at poetry, but I thought I'd give it a shot

We review harshly to help you improve so that in the future your poetry will improve. In other words-only trying to help. Like Ladypurple, I would also like to read something you're good at.

I think the best way to go about handling this poem -- the concept of lost love and betrayal is so rife with emotion it can always be used for a poem -- is to rewrite it completely. I suggest doing this with the initial feelings in mind, but with something else, too: imagery. The easiest way to connect to a reader is through images, which are the sensory details. They give the reader a strong impression of feeling than abstract words like "love" and "hate" do. My hate is probably different than your hate; I probably love differently than you do. Imagery allows you to give the reader a glimpse into your world more clearly.

You can build images with simile and metaphor, most simply. There used to be a really wonderful guide to imagery on here but I can't seem to find it. However, as LastPaladin said, reading more poetry is the best place to start.

this is a link to Poetry, Daily. What it says on the tin. Really excellent material -- you'll probably start finding things you like if you go through the archive.