Nothing More

All around me they are,
those who want nothing more
they have everything they desire
and more.

They have girls
they have money
they have fast cars and muscle
and more.

Anyone who wrongs them
will meet a swift fate
with hate and harsh words
and more

All who are not them
who are trampled on,
want to be like them
and more.

They laugh and drink
they hang out and smoke
they kiss and have sex
and more.

They do not know anything
not of chaos or knowledge
they go around with everything
and more.

Sometimes I want to be them
with their small worlds
completely filled with happiness
and more.

Then I chide myself
and remind myself,
they are foolish mortals
nothing more.

Oh boy I'm here with the review you asked for. I'm gonna have a really tough time reviewing this. You did a pretty good job on this one with errors. XP

First suggestion you don't have to but you should consider putting a comma before the "and more" at the end of every stanza. It let's you pause when reading it and adds some empahzis to the words.
Also this stanza here.

Then I chide myself
and remind myself,they are foolish mortals
nothing more.

This sentence is akward because of your repition with "myself". I'm sure you can fix this if you decide to take my advice.

Anyway sorry if I wasn't very helpful, like I said this was a tough review.
Good Luck and keep cranking out the stories and poetry.
~~~Riveneye~~~

It's good. I think that having 'and more' at the end of each stanza is a little akward, although I can see why you have done it. I also think you need to expand a lot more on the lest stanza because it's unclear what the message of this poem is, really. Is it general repulse to pleasure? To what extent is it religious? etc.

I really enjoyed "More" this is a well thought out poem, little childish word play, but I enjoyed it. It allows more readers to understand and relate. The last stanza is a great ending with a good beginning, but the body is a little sloppy, but that may be the way you want it. I am really looking forward to hearing more from you.

Thank you for the poem, check out mine and tell me what you think!

Hey there

I hope I don't sound harsh or anything but I did not enjoy this. Yes there are bits in there that are creative like the repetition of "and more", but without punctuation on the most part, it's hard to have it believable. I thought it was just average and cliché and nothing more or special. Also, most of the time it did not feel like I was reading a poem, but instead, an introduction to a story. However, I see a light in your poetic skills. I'm not much of a poet myself, but hey, I believe with more practice and passion, you can produce great work.

Keep writing.