The Reflections of Failed Friendship

Please tell me it's not shit. Please tell me it's not shit. Please tell me it's not shit. It's shit, isn't it?




My world is burning. I can feel the heat radiating from the trees that were once my benevolent friends. Now, they are vicious homes of death for whatever creatures lived within them. Animals flee past me. Deer, rabbits, friends, foes. I can hear the hawks keening far up above me. And I stay put. I await my fate. I know that I will not survive this latest wave. My brothers and sisters stand alongside me, resigned to our fate. It was not the will of whatever gave us life that we be granted legs. So, we sit and wait.

My world is burning. I can feel the heat radiating from the trees that were once my benevolent friends. Now, they come crashing down upon me, and I am left hoping that all is not this way. That there are some friends who are true to the end. Friends who won’t come crashing down upon me. Friends I can count on. Friends that are the stuff of fantasy. But if it is only in fantasy friends are true, then what life is worth living?

Angela wrote:

The Burning World of Grass

My world is burning. I can feel the heat radiating from the trees that were once my benevolent friends. Now,(unnecessary comma) they are vicious homes of death for whatever creatures lived within them. Animals flee past me. Deer, rabbits, friends, foes. I can hear the hawks keening far up above me. And (remove the and)I stay put. I await my fate. I know that I will not survive this latest wave. My brothers and sisters stand alongside me, resigned to our fate. It was not the will of whatever gave us life that we be granted legs. So,(unnecessary comma) we sit and wait.

My world is burning. I can feel the heat radiating from the trees that were once my benevolent friends. Now, they come crashing down upon me, and I am left hoping that all is not this way. That there are some friends who are true to the end. Friends who won’t come crashing down upon me. Friends I can count on. Friends that are the stuff of fantasy. But if it is only in fantasy friends are true, then what life is worth living?

Just a note: If you're going to swear put the appropriate rating on the thread.
It's not rubbish. It's a nice idea. Although i think you could expand on it. It seems that it's from the perspective of some kind of animal, maybe a squirrel? That's what i thought anyway. But why are the trees burning? Who is burning the trees?
It's extremely vague. Also there's not much to show what the speaker's character is like. She doesn't even sound that scared. I say she but that's not even clear. She seems a bit passive. If your world was being destroyed around you would you stand and watch and accept it? Or would you fight?
Also i think you could describe the setting more. I know there are trees so she must be in a wood of some kind. What else is there? What are the trees like? How does she feel about her home, her entire world being destroyed? Who are her friends?
Answer some of these questions in your story and you'll be getting somewhere .

Oh my gosh, it's like totally sh- *punches self*

There was nothing for me to nitpick so onward to the plot!
It was very short, all I know from it right now is that the character is in a forest ( ? ). It's burning for some reason. And somehow he/she is accepting it. So is the character an animal? It has to be an animal ( I think ).
It was interesting to read and now I just notice that the title has the word "Grass" in it so now I'm thinking of bugs being burn in someone's front yard. Woah.
I thought that you could make it a lot more detail. I know that it's [ might be ] in the forest/grass with the few evidence. But the evidence is few and with not detail, it was hard for me to imagine who or what was being burn to death and why it was thinking that his/her friend should be helping her/him.

I think you used alot of good descriptions and gave a good picture. IT"S TO SHORT. It's hard to review a piece as short as this. You need to lead up to it a bit or give it a flashback. (Those can be fun.) Don't call your pieces-uh yeah. It only makes your charecters wanna shoot you! Other than that, I'd just be repeating our dear Roal and leebass so good job and please expand!

Thanks to everyone for your reviews! Yeah, I was pretty sad/depressed when I wrote this, and I was curious how the emotion would filter through and affect the reviews. Thanks very much!