no longer belongs to me.

I become matters of eternal,The memory is lost, spreadingat a speed of a cloud destructive, This part doesnt make any sense to me. I dont understand the part "cloud destructive"? And you also need to add periods and their are alot of grammar errors. I like it though I think it is very unique(:

rememberme wrote:I become matters of eternal,The memory is lost, spreadingat a speed of a cloud destructive, This part doesnt make any sense to me. I dont understand the part "cloud destructive"? And you also need to add periods and their are alot of grammar errors. I like it though I think it is very unique(:

I have to apologize:)
The fact is that I am Italian, everything that I have shared here, are derived from Italian, so they have some grammatical errors.
the speed of a destructive cloud, alludes to the atomic bomb, which spreads very rapidly.

Hello, buddy! I understood the poem, and I can't locate the grammar errors! o___o But I guess it's because Italian and Spanish are a bit alike, so I'll leave those to native speakers! xD But one thing I want to tell you is I don't think titles should have periods and it should have capital letters! Like this: "No Longer Belongs to Me"! But other than that I like it! Keep writing!

-Soly

Solvalery wrote:Hello, buddy! I understood the poem, and I can't locate the grammar errors! o___o But I guess it's because Italian and Spanish are a bit alike, so I'll leave those to native speakers! xD But one thing I want to tell you is I don't think titles should have periods and it should have capital letters! Like this: "No Longer Belongs to Me"! But other than that I like it! Keep writing!

-Soly

Yes, Italian and Spanish, in grammar, they resemble a lot.
I tried with this poem, to communicate that, "being part of the eternal" is much more important, that they have.
be remembered is what everyone wants for themselves.

Hi CannonBall!

So, I like this. The syntax, in my opinion adds to the poem. I saw where you said that what you've posted is from Italian, so I won't correct grammar. I can't think of any nitpicks. Keep writing!

--Leslie

SporkPunk wrote:Hi CannonBall!

So, I like this. The syntax, in my opinion adds to the poem. I saw where you said that what you've posted is from Italian, so I won't correct grammar. I can't think of any nitpicks. Keep writing!

--Leslie

Yes, i'm italian and so i always write in that language.. these are only some translation taken from italian..
i'm writing a book, i thought to add some parts of it to this website, but i think that it would be very difficoult to translate it.. anyway, thanks and good work