A Time, But No Place

-A Time, But no Place-

For once in your life,
Take it easy,
Take a load off,
'Cause the news will
Show you Life's might.

What's Life and Time?
They move fast,
That much's for sure.
Take them into thought
And maybe you'll learn much more.

For every person,
There's a count
That sounds about
Like the tick-tock
Of a hypno-clock.

This beat is a heart
And with the heart, Life.
Don't waste what
You may not want,
Less your soul regret shall haunt.

So, there's never really a place.
Just a time in space.
Fill each moment to the brim,
And never go back again,
Unless in light of heart.

--In light to my
Better shadows.
Never fall for
The Demons below.

*Just wrote this. Right before bed. Again, not a whole lot of thought put behind this, although I did think about meaning. See if you can discern an interpretation for yourself. Comment, please, even if it's just to say you liked it. Comments encourage me to write. Also, the four lines above are my dedication. This is for my friends, better or best, good or sub-par. They're all still there at the end of the day.

Hello. I really did like this... A lot! It was an interesting read and got me thinking, "Hm...what is the meaning of life?" Haha. I'm just kidding - about the life part, not that it got me thinking, just to clarify.

Anyway, lemme think about this for a mere moment...Okay! I got it! It's about just plainly, and to the fullest, "living it up!" No matter where you are, what situation and with who you're with. No matter what the circumstances over all.

Welp, that was my opinion and I wouldn't mind hearing yours either.

Write on and PM me for anything. You did a great job, and I didn't find any mistakes either!

~Freak

Hey, not bad for a spur of the moment poem late at night. Late at night is when the best ideas flow. I hate it when people pick every little bit of punctual error out of a poem. I figure if the author put a period there, it wasn't on accident and it was probably for a reason... so I won't get into that. Anyway, here's just a few things I want to point out.

For once in your life,
Take it easy,
Take a load off,
'Cause the news will
Show you Life's might.

The news? What news is this? This is your introductory stanza here and it's cool to make things vague, but try to introduce this idea a little better. I might be missing something, but maybe a different word. I find a single word will change an entire stanza.

This beat is a heart
And with the heart, Life.
Don't waste what
You may not want,
Less your soul regret shall haunt.

• This stanza... hmm....this stanza.... Grammar wise this does not make sense. Perhaps this is what you wanted?

"Don't waste what
you may not want
Lest your soul's regret shall haunt"

• Does this seem a little clearer?

--In light to my
Better shadows.
Never fall for
The Demons below.

Ok. This demon reference just threw off the entire poem. The last stanza was floating off pondering Time and Space in a very straightforward kind of literal manner. Now you randomly bring Demons into this. This change of pace is just a little odd and I might go as far as to suggest you change it.

• Odd is usually ok, so another way to fix this abrupt change of tone, you could add a better transition before it. Something like a vague mentions of character flaw or something... just something.

Okay so I love this poem, you did a great interpretation of living life to it's fullest, stepping out your comfort zone, and resisting the urge to do so. (I think )

Great job and keep writing,

Forever Threnody

Okay, first off, thanks guys for comments. Gotta love them, for better or worse, ehh?

Anyways, for Ms. Freak up top, thanks, and yeah, I guess this is more or less about living up life. I was just trying to pick something up off the top of my head to write about late at night while I was half zombified by a few sleep-eradicating night terrors. Or would they really be night charms, being that zombies are always cool, and fighting them is great? But, nonetheless, thanks for your comment, and your interpretation is right as long as you think it's right, or it gives you some sort of clarity.

At Threnody: I agree; the "news" part at the beginning is kind of vague and maybe misleading, almost as if I was trying to start this off as a narrative, but I'll stick by it. Just like life's decisions, you just got to stick by them till the very end. Also, the other stanza, with the heart part, I see where you might feel that should be changed, but when I wrote it, I meant it to be like that. The last line was supposed to read "Less your soul regret shall haunt" because I'm not talking about your soul's regret. Soul's don't have regret; only the bearer's mind and conscience being can hold regret. I'm saying that regret will haunt your soul if you waste your life. Okay, now that I think about it, my explanation of regret is kind of contradicted by that line. But, never mind that. I don't believe it's a grammatical error, I mean, I might be able to add something to break that up or something to clarify, but as far as rewording, I don't think it necessary.

Finally, the very ending, I think you misinterpreted them completely: first off, if you read right below the poem, it says that those lines are a dedication to my friends, i.e. "my better shadows." It has nothing to do with the rest of the poem.

Again, thanks, gals, for the comments, and I sure hope you read more of my vague, yet iridescent poetry.

Poetically yours,
Zac (A.K.A. The Walkin Dude)

I don't really understand this? I mean, the flow and everything goes together pretty well, I just don't pick up on the deeper meaning...

For every person,
There's a count
That sounds about
Like the tick-tock
Of a hypno-clock

I don't like the last two lines. "Hypno-clock" sounds too retro, where the rest of your piece just kind of flows peacefully. That part really threw me off guard.

This beat is a heart
And with the heart, Life.
Don't waste what
You may not want,
Less your soul regret shall haunt.

That really didn't make any sense to me? Not only the grammar, but the symbolism as well.

Sorry I kind of ripped your piece apart. I liked the sound of it, but maybe make the purpose a little more clear?