Gold to Nothingness

Angela sighed. She sat in a coffee shop, staring at the rain drops pouring down the windows. It was one of those days absolutely perfect for writing. The clouds were a soft blanket of moist down across the sky, and the falling rain looked like pencil shavings falling from heaven’s classroom. The coffee shop wasn’t crowded with people, but neither was it empty as a ghost town. It was the rare time of day when the atmosphere is just perfect. But there was one elemental factor absent from this equation: Angela had nothing to write about.

The characters just weren’t talking to her. Her stealthy antagonist was stealthily sneaking out the back door. The loud protagonist was racing out the front door without a word. And the other characters were slowing melting back into the woodwork from whence they came. Suddenly the new setting that had seemed so brilliant at the time was tedious and lacking in everything but dust.

Hey
I loved this piece, very thoughtful, with beautiful metaphors and description
This is my review,
sugegstions are in bold...

Angela sighed. She sat in a coffee shop, staring at the rain drops pouring down the windows. It was one of those days absolutely perfect for writing. The clouds were a soft blanket of moisture down across the sky, and the falling rain looked like pencil shavings fallingtry not to use the same word twice in a sentence, try drifing insteadfrom heaven’s classroom. The coffee shop wasn’t crowded with people, but neither was it empty as a ghost town. It was the rare time of day when the atmosphere is just perfect. But there was one elemental factor absent from this equation: Angela had nothing to write about.

The characters just weren’t talking to her. Her stealthy antagonist was stealthily sneaking out the back door. The loud protagonist was racing out the front door without a word. And the other characters were slowing melting back into the woodwork from whence they came.love that metaphor Suddenly the new setting that had seemed so brilliant at the time was tedious and lacking in everything but dust.

By this mysterious process does gold begin its slow metamorphosis into nothingness.

as you can see, very little corrections needed,
I really really loved this piece!
I think any writer could relate to it

Keep writing!
-Ava

Your words are definitely mature and thoughtful, I'll give you that. You take your time and want to describe it exactly without overdoing it. That's good.

But writing about someone who has nothing to write about is...tired. Especially when the idea doesn't go beyond that. For example, the good movies that star writers'-blocked writers always end up with them going through extraordinary situations and whatnot to overcome their situation. But your character just...sits there. And realizes she has nothing to write. Then continues to sit. Give her a story (not one to write, that is, but one to live and act out). What does she do in response to her writers' block?

The clouds were a soft blanket of moist down across the sky, and the falling rain looked like pencil shavings falling from heaven’s classroom.

Ideally, you would want the two metaphors to have something to do with each other, especially when one is quite a stretch of imagination. The rain looking like pencil shavings from heaven's classroom thing is a little specific and forced and has little to do with the soft blanket of moist. By melding the two heavily related real-life objects (clouds and rain) into two completely different metaphors (blankets and pencil shavings in a classroom), you get a really weird effect. So rework one of those metaphors so that there is an actual relationship.

The coffee shop wasn’t crowded with people, but neither was it empty as a ghost town.

"The coffee shop was neither crowded nor empty" gets the point across much better and more concisely. You don't need the "with people" because we understand that a coffee shop wouldn't be crowded with goats. And the purpose of hyperboles such as "ghost town" is to emphasize how extremely empty something is. But to say it's not as extremely empty as a ghost town is silly. Imagine eating a really good meal and saying, "Man! I am neither starving to death nor am I stuffed to the seams!" Saying something isn't an extreme in the form of hyperbole is unnecessary.

Her stealthy antagonist was stealthily sneaking out

One of those is unnecessary. Preferably, get rid of the second one.

Her stealthy antagonist was stealthily sneaking out the back door. The loud protagonist was racing out the front door without a word

Okay, so the stealthy bad guy is sneaking. But the loud good guy is running, but doing so without a word. See how the parallel falls apart? Your sneaky bad guy is being sneaky. And your loud good guy is...not being loud.

Suddenly the new setting that had seemed so brilliant at the time was tedious and lacking in everything but dust.

That's a good line.

I love the metaphors, assorted details, and figurative language in this! It really brings you into the setting and makes you see it in your mind's eye. The only thing that you could possibly need to work on is syntax and redundancy/repetition. (It's easy to do; sometimes we writers feel the need to describe too much, and end up using the same adjective twice, except in a different form.) Overall, it's a very descriptive story.

Thank you to everyone for your wondrous reviews!!!

Love it, really different and cool! I agree you've got too much 'falling' in that one sentence, but other than that I really can't fault it. I also love the 'pencil shavings from heaven's classroom'... that's great because it relates to writing obviously.

I think you need to visit 100wordchallenge.com
That always gets me going when I'm stuck

The only suggestion I have for you is to try to eliminate repetition in sentence. It was done once or twice, and I see that they were already corrected by previous reviewers. Overall a very nice piece. Very descriptive and full of captivating imagery. Keep writing!