Ash is Falling

-Ash is Falling-

Ash is falling.
The fire burns nearby.
How on Earth
Can I catch her
From her endless skydive?

Ash is falling.
I wish I could help.
But God only helps
Those who help themselves.
Her reactions she must cope.

Ash, oh Ash,
I will painfully tell,
The Tale of how
Hard you fell,
Faster, Faster, down, untill...

Ash, Ash, she fell
With utmost grace
But was still not cut out
For this inhuman race.
Did it hurt when you fell, Ash?

*Again, I wrote this this morning in economics. I was going through my notepads and I found something that a friend of mine had written for me in it. It was just a big heart withh "I love you--Ash" written in it. It touched my heart and I just picked up my pen and wrote. I'm not sure what my meaning is inthis, as my friend isn't bad and although I care greatly for her, this is not a love poem. I showed it to her and now she wants a copy for herself. She can have the original.

Be brutal, as I know this poem needs work. And remember, please come again!

Oh WOW! Well, obviously all you need is some grammatical corrections, here and there. I'll be honest, I'm not very poetic, but I really like this poem.

Sorry, I know this is a general answer, but I hardly know anything about poetry. I just wanted you to know that you have made a very beautiful piece.

I really like this poem, quite inspiring and it also makes you think, and I mean in the creative sense XD
Two things I'd like to point out; 'Thos' I believe you meant "Those" and the extra l in fell on the last piece at the end.
Other than that, brilliant! There are no other typo's or mistakes really.
And this is also very sweet =)

Thanks guys for the words of encouragement. I always love it when people read things I write and share how they make them feel.

I don't think this poem needs much work, it's really nice the way it is. One thing though - are you talking about your friend, or are you talking about ash as is when-a-fire-burns-it-creates-ashes ash?

Keep writing!
Alzora

*Again, I wrote this this morning in economics. I was going through my notepads and I found something that a friend of mine had written for me in it. It was just a big heart withh "I love you--Ash" written in it. It touched my heart and I just picked up my pen and wrote. I'm not sure what my meaning is inthis, as my friend isn't bad and although I care greatly for her, this is not a love poem. I showed it to her and now she wants a copy for herself. She can have the original.

Be brutal, as I know this poem needs work. And remember, please come again![/quote]

(second stanza)
Her reactions she must cope.
Well, this didn't make much sense o.o. Just this line. I don't know why, maybe it's just me, but it still didn't make much sense ;o... Maybe you could phrase it better. Unless you want to explain it, then I could see if when explained it could be found out without the explanation and if it can stand being there XDDD

Ash, oh Ash,
I will painfully tell,
The Tale of how
Hard you fell,
Faster, Faster, down, untill...
I think the red parts should be put together. Maybe. When the line is skipped there, I think there's a pause, and that kind of ruins the stanza (for me at lest ;p) ^^

Ash, Ash, she fell
With utmost grace
But was still not cut out
For this inhuman race.
Did it hurt when you fell, Ash?
---When you capitalize every first letter on a new line (which is incorrect grammar. I never got why people did that. Is it just the style of poetry?) I think it is a new sentence, so I pause. But it isn't, so it comes out in pieces, when the poem could have a much better flow to it without all the pauses ^^ I liked the "WIth utmost grace" though :]

The poem was really sweet. It's kind of like talking about a girl who was bullied and everything, and she finally got tired of it and either died or killed herself. Then one asks if it was painful when she left. Or a popular girl who suddenly falls...
Kind of weird you gave this to her XD. Huh, symbolism :>

But I really liked the rhyming. I couldn't find other problems. That doesn't mean there isn't anymore or is more, but I just couldn't find anymore... hah. So yeah, good poem ^^