At the Edge of Things

¡This is my first try at non-rhyming, so please feel free to pick apart as you wish. But, try and make sure to explain yourself, yeah that sounds better. Thanks, -Bird

THE EDGE OF THINGS

I am a dancer at the edge of things,
The one who fills the fringe
And perfects the picture in the center,
I'm not in exile nor am I important
And this is my favorite place,

I'm the stitching of a quilt
That's red and blue and green,
I'm a star sent out of orbit
Ever watching but never touching
Like the writer of a song

I'm brave enough to see lovers quarrel,
And rewarded with enemies embrace
Many others like me know
This is the greatest way of things,
It's hard but satisfying to dance at
The edge of things.

Beautiful, really really good for your first attempt at non-rhyming poetry. I love the imagery, and the positive nature of the poem. There really isn't anything I would correct, but I would just say that you still have to be careful about the rhythm of the poem, even though the lines don't have to be as samey as in a rhyming poem. "I'm a star sent out of orbit... ever watching but not touching" I love that line, I think the poem is about someone who doesn't like to get fully involved in anything, so she can enjoy everything at the same time?
One line I'm not sure about is "And rewarded with enemy's embrace". What does this mean? The embrace of one enemy, or the embraces of your old enemies? Enemies' embrace, or enemy's embraces, might work better
Hope that helps x

Okay, I liked this alot.

Stanza One:
I think this one was the most not interesting of them all. I mean, I liked it, but there are some things you could change. The first is when you say "I'm not in exile nor important." I think maybe it would sound better as "I'm not in exile though nor am I important." As well as this, I believe you should change the wording of your last sentance. The word fine is just dull and overused. dicover a different way of saying that same thing and just don't use the word fine.

Stanza Two:
This is my favorite one. The first three lines are beautiful. The fourth line is sort of like stanza one. I think "Ever watching but not touching," is on the verge of childish. The wor but next to the word not are just not a wise pair. I would suggest either "Ever watching, never touching." or "Ever watching, though never close enough to touch." or "Ever watching, ever knowing, never touching, never saying." or something else of that sort. DO you know whta I mean? It just would sound better. ANd the last sentance is perfectly genious!

Stanza Three:
I love this one as well. The first sentance is good. But the second sentance, again, sounds strange.
"I'm brave enough to watch lovers quarrel,
And rewarded with enemy's embrace."
First of all, I am pretty sure that enemies is the way you would write it. Second of all, that sentance just doesnt make sense. It should be something close to-
"I'm brave enough to watch lovers quarrel,
and be rewarded with my enemies embrace."
Though I also don't understand how an enemies embrace is a reward. You may want to.. I don't know. Change that sentance maybe? Anyways, I like the rest, but I think you should move the "at" from the second to last sentance to the beginning of the last one. It would flow better.

Overall:
I loved this. If you fix up these few things, this poem would be beautiful. Is going to be beautiful. I like the idea behind it and your imagery in the second stanza was magnificent! Please PM me if you fix this up or have any question.

First of all, thank you sooooo much for your help!
Second, I meant 'enemies' embrace' as a pair of enemies forgiving each other, and moving on, kind of the opposite of lovers' quarrel.
Lastly, Thank you so much again for the positive feedback and support!