Chronometer's Lullaby

I have a clock inside
It tells me when to die
I keep it locked up tight
So no one tells my time

The rhythm of the hands
Follow the marching bands.
The gears and cogs and wheels
Are all my body feels


Chorus

And time keeps on ticking
And I keep on thinking
It must stop soon
But I’m simply wrong

Time is a fluid
And life is a Druid
Sacrificing seconds
That compose the song.

End Chorus

I have a clock inside
It tells me when to hide
I keep it wound up tight
So no one steals my rhyme

My timepiece plays an air
Lullaby soft and fair
I sleep to its sweet pulse
So my dreams are never false

Very nice actually. I'm surprised this got to the third page *frowns*

I would think that you'd probably want this a little longer, have a bridge, maybe a third verse or a repetition of the chorus.

Also

Time is a fluid
And life is a Druid

Huh? What does this mean? Druid? The dictionary says: a member of a pre-Christian religious order among the ancient Celts of Gaul, Britain, and Ireland.

I think this was just forced rhyming. But Honestly if it's lyrics it doesn't need to rhyme. Almost no lyrics do. I think if you could find a word that would fit it could possibly be a poem.

Other than that I liked it alot! I hope to read more of your lyrics!

-Maggie

I agree with Maggie, the Druid rhyme was a little forced and didn't seem to fit the theme of the song. You could try changing it, even if it doesn't rhyme. (btw Mag, Druids are in Spinal Tap! They do a Stonehenge show...I'll show you sometime)

"I have a clock inside
It tells me when to die
I keep it locked up tight
So no one tells my time "


This song reminds me of Insomnia by Stephen King. I've only read the first few pages, but someone is dying and he says it's like the walls are ticking with the time she has left.

Anyway, good job with the song. I hope you post more lyrics.

Tim you are bloody great at writing songs i'm trying to write my first Anti Government one. God i envy you keep it up. Druid part did seem a bit forced but fricking great pity can't share tune oh well ces't la vie i guess.

short, simple, scared me... Man I'm so tired.... *YAWNS*

Simple... it's a pretty song... *zzzzz*