Our Last Hope
“Alrighty then, the dragons are multiplying enough that there are at least 6 million worldwide.” Everyone gasped at that moment. “I sent Colonel and Brigadier Tempus for some help from the Resanae Scout Cruiser around the Council of Quacia. All the soldiers of that ship were disintegrated by one dragon. The good thing is that some of the dragons have a bug in their creation. In the past five hours 170 (approximate) dragons have died.” Said I.
A bolt of green lightning came down out of nowhere. It struck down inside a building and, I was back! I knew what my mission was, but when everyone thinks you’re dead, you have to think and move small. “Katana.” I said and a katana started to appear in front of me from my glove. “Three acre C4.” I said for the same results. Outside there was a dragon disintegrating the creatures of the forest. “Slow time, two times.” I said to slow down time with my time powers. I ran up to the dragon, ran up his tail, up his back onto his head. I stabbed the top of his head and cut it open, quickly I put the C4 in his head before it healed up. I jumped off and detonated it. It was powerful enough to blow up his brain for the kill.
“Corporal Cleo, check for survivors in the other kingdoms and bring them back here.” I said.
“No need, only the Canine and Demon kingdoms haven’t been attacked yet. Canine are next. The only way we’re going to survive is to go to the surface and fight.” Jake said.
“All right, if that’s what you think is best Brigadier.” I said.
“It is General. We’ve got minutes to survive down here.” Said Jake. Suddenly a white Jack Russel came rolling down the tunnel entrance in a familiar way. “Hey, hey you. Where going up to the surface come along. It’s not safe down here anymore.” I said
After killing tons of dragons, I thought I might go down into the dog kingdom. I transformed into a Jack Russel and went down an entrance tunnel. I really hate them. Rolling down 30km towards the centre of the Earth can really make you sick. “Hey, hey you. Where going up to the surface come along. It’s not safe down here anymore.” Said Roy as they tried to get to safety. The trench door opened and there was a dragon in the trench. “Go! He’s mine.” I said when Jake was the only one left in the kingdom. “Lance?” Jake asked as he was climbing up. I charged toward the dragon, took out my wings and jumped. Unfortunately, it ate me. Or was it unfortunate for him?
When we got out of the tunnel, we were on a beach. “Roy, Roy, Roy! You wouldn’t believe it!” Jake said.
“What is it?” I asked.
“He’s back! He’s back I say!” Jake repeated.
“Who’s bac... oh stuff it, they found us.” I said. At that moment around ten dragons came flying at us. But, at that moment, I knew what Jake meant. Coming out of where the trench was, limited green fire was ascending to the sky. A white dragon flew out of the trench and into the sky, flew a backwards flip and into the deep water miles from us. Then some aerodynamic horns grew out of the top of his nose, the top center of his head, neck and tail. Lance Tempus was back. Clap, clap, clap. We turned around to see a human clapping. “Lanci, you may have taken out all of those dragons in one go. But how would you go against me, dragon vs. dragon, Time vs. Space?” Devin said.
At that time I had a bad feeling about those words he had just said. Suddenly, he had just started running in my direction, jumped and spun as he turned into a black Jack Russel, took out his wings and flew into the clouds. On his way back down he was another black dragon and took out his horns like me. He was right by the words he said. Dragon vs. Dragon, Lance Tempus vs. Devin Tractus (Lance Time vs. Devin Space). “Bring it bitch.” Devin said before he spat a fire ball at the survivors for disintegration.
) The main character is just a faceless blob with seemingly omnipotent powers that have no explanation whatsoever. The dragons are attacking for no reason, the army experts just sound stupid (returning to the surface is their best shot against the zillions of dragons? Why do they only have minutes to survive under there?) and dialogue is choppy, uncoordinated and very clumsy at points.
As readers we want some background info (though don't dump loads on us) and we want descriptions of our main character and our setting. You've got the bones of a story, perhaps just the spine of it. The dogs seemed utterly random and senseless, put in here for no reason other than to be 'creative' perhaps. Everything should have a purpose and reason in order to tell the story, and if it doesn't have this, it shouldn't be in there. 
