It's watching you undress

It's watching you undress

A dark shadow haunts you.
It knows your adress.
It's been watching you undress.
It knows your every success,
and your every mess.
It has been watching you progress,
and now it has something to confess.

Yes, it has a confession to make,
that it has an obsession at stake,
and it's not gonna let you get away.
I've heard it whisper, yes I've heard it say

That it's going to take you home tonight,
it's gonna make you its, place you in the spotlight.

It knows where you work and when you're done for the day.
It's going to have you blindfolded, you won't have a say.
When the night has arrived, you'll be a property of the shadow.
Will you agree to see its face, are you ready for the chase?

It will take of your mask before taking off its own,
you'll meet a cruel smile and hear a beating heart of stone.
This is when you'll notice, the shadow's not an it, but a he,
yet the laugh you hear doesn't sound human so you prepare to flee.

But your hands are tied and your eyes are glued,
on the wicked person that are now going nude.
But when you see his pale body in the steam light,
you can't but think he's beautiful, a beauty of the night.

But the admiration fades when the fear sets in,
he's approaching now, and you know he's going to sin.
He unbuttons your shirt, take off your skirt, rips it off of you,
he removes your bra, you scream when you realize what he'll do.

He cut scars with a sharpened knife, in your soft skin,
as the blood flows, he prepares to fulfill his sin.

He doesn't cut anymore, he likes to watch you bleed.
He see the light fade in your eyes, he know he'll suceed.
Your life will soon be a mere memory,
and your death will be an untold story.

Your killer puts on a mask, he's a mere shadow,
It's a mere shadow, and it's gonna kill again.

Basically I will say 3 things. One I cannot comment on the poem style because I do not know much about poem structure, though I will say this the poem should start rhyming or UN-rhyming and end that way. The next thing I have to say it had some words misspelled and you need to put plurals on some words. The last thing I am going to say, is that this was a good poem, but it didn't dress up the fact it was about a rape/murder. I guess that is just your style.
From a dragon to a demon, bye.*BURSTS INTO BUTTERFLIES*

...

First I'll go over spelling, grammar and wording.

A dark shadow haunts you.
It knows your adress. (address)
It's been watching you undress. (I would get rid of the contraction to make it "It has")
It knows your every success,
and your every mess.
It has been watching your progress,
and now it has something to confess.

Yes, it has a confession to make,
that it has an obsession at stake
and it's not gonna let you get away.
I've heard it whisper, yes I've heard it say

That it's going to take you home tonight,
it's gonna make you its, place you in the spotlight. (make you its what?)

It knows where you work and when your done for the day. (you're)
It's going to have you blindfolded, you won't have a say.
When the night has arrived, you'll be a property of the shadow.
Will you agree to see its face, in the dungeon below?

It will take of your mask and it will suggest it takes of its own, ("of" should be "off", and the second part of this line is awkwardly worded)
you'll meet a cruel smile and hear the beating of a heart of stone.
You'll notice now, the shadow's not an it, it's a he, (awkward wording)
but the laugh you hear doesnt sound human and you prepare to flee. (doesn't)

But your hands are tighed and your eyes are glued, (tied)
on the wicked person that are now going nude. ("are" should be "is", awkward wording)
But when you see his pale body in the steam light, (not sure what you mean by "steam light")
you can't but think he's beautiful, a beauty of the night. (add "help" between "can't" and "but")

But the admiration fades when the fear sets in,
he's approaching now, and you know he's going to sin.
he unbutton your shirt, take off your skirt, rips it off of you, (unbuttons, takes)
he takes of your bra, you scream when you realize what he'll do. ("of" should be "off", it also seems unrealistic that she's only realizing what he's going to do now)

He cut scars with a sharpened knife, in your soft skin,
as the blood flows, he prepares to fulfill his sin.

He doesnt cut anymore, he likes to watch you bleed. (doesn't)
He see the light fade in your eyes, he know he'll suceed. (sees, knows, succeed)
Your life will soon be a mere memory,
and your death will be an untold story.

Your killer puts on a mask, he's a mere shadow,
It's a mere shadow, and it's gonna kill again. (you use "mere" three times in four lines, try varying your wordings)

I like your narrative style and this poem kept me interested through its entire length, but it's a bit of a mess at the moment.
There are a huge number of spelling mistakes. I found three in a single line. Make sure to read over what you write and use a spellchecker before posting a piece. It will make your pieces seem much more professional and save your reviewers from having to go through and nitpick.
Your rhyming doesn't really have any pattern. It seems like you just put in as many lines as you could find rhymes for and then started a new rhyme when you ran out of ideas. Try deciding on a rhyme scheme before you even start and then sticking with it. Most of your rhymes actually flowed pretty well, but there were a few points where they felt forced. I also suggest trying to write this without any rhyming at all and see where that takes you. I ended up feeling like the rhyming hindered your narrative voice.
There also didn't seem to be any pattern to whether a line was capitalized or not. Again, figure out what you're going to do before writing and then stick with it.
Your stanzas didn't have any discernible pattern either, which caused problems with flow. I'm not saying that every stanza should be exactly the same, but you should have a reason for changing the stanza length if you do. Every time you change the structure of a poem, it should be for a reason.
I felt that the ending was rushed, like you were ready for the poem to be done, so you ended it. The best thing about your poem was how slowly and richly it unfolded. You should try to maintain that feel all the way to the end.
I know this review might seem harsh, but I did enjoy this poem and really liked your style. You just have a ton of tightening up to do if you want to take it where it could be.

Hey, first of all im gunna go over what I dont get/like. Your rhyme scheme is a tad over the top and it kinda ruins the flow of your poem by having every word in a stanza rhyme. Have you suggested trying an AB rhyme scheme where every second word rhymes? Any way yeah sorry but I think it ruins the poem it makes it sound very forced. On to the good things I like your narative style and how this really does tell a story.

NIT-PICKS

It knows your address.
It's been watching you undress.
It knows your every success,
and your every mess.
It has been watching your progress,
and now it has something to confess.

Yes, it has a confession to make,
that it has an obsession at stake Dont think you need that
and it's not gonna let you get away.
I've heard it whisper,
yes I've heard it say

That it's going to take you home tonight,
it's gonna make you its own,
place you in the spotlight.

It knows where you work and when your done for the day.
It's going to have you blindfolded,
you won't have a say.
And when the night has arrived,
you'll be a property of the shadow.
Will you agree to see its face, dont really get these lines
In the dungeon below?

It will take off your mask and it will suggest it takes of its own,
you'll meet a cruel smile and hear the beating of a heart of stone.
You'll notice now, the shadow's not an it, it's a he,
but the laugh you hear doesnt sound human and you prepare to flee. not necessary

But your hands are tighed and your eyes are glued, not necessary
on the wicked person that are now going nude. I think it should be is not are
But when you see his pale body in the steam light,
you can't but think he's beautiful,
a beauty of the night.

But the admiration fades when the fear sets in,
he's approaching now, and you know he's going to sin.
he unbuttons your shirt, takes off your skirt, rips it off of you,
he takes off your bra, you scream when you realize what he'll do.

He cut scars with a sharpened knife, in your soft skin,
as the blood flows, he prepares to fulfill his sin.

He doesnt cut anymore, he likes to watch you bleed.
He see the light fade in your eyes, he knows he'll suceed.
Your life will soon be a mere memory,
and your death will be an untold story. And is not needed here

Your killer puts on a mask, he's a mere shadow of the dark-maybe?,
It's a mere shadow, and it's gonna kill again.

Overall I really like your story, it is very good only a few things are holding it back. Work on your rhyme scheme and remember rhyme isnt actually needed in poetry, well not always. Also rhyming every line in each stanza very rarely sounds good and un-forced so try to avoid it.
I really liked your last two stanzas! They were very effective. Particularly the second to last, thats my favourite.

So nit-picks aside this was a good poem and a pleasure to read.
Keep up the good work!

Happy writing
FROMNZ

A dark shadow haunts you.
It knows your address.
It's been watching you undress.
It knows your every success,
and your every mess.
It has been watching your progress,
and now it has something to confess.

Yes, it has a confession to make,
that it has an obsession at stake
and it's not going to let you get away.
I've heard it whisper, yes I've heard it say

That it's going to take you home tonight,
it's going to make you shine in the spotlight.

It knows where you work and when you’re done for the day.
It's going to have you blindfolded, you won't have a say.
When the night has arrived, you'll be a property of the shadow.
Will you agree to see its face, in the dungeon below?

It will take of your mask and it will suggest to takes of its own,
you'll meet a cruel smile and hear the beating of a heart of stone.
You'll notice now, the shadow's not an it, it's a he,
but the laugh you hear doesn’t sound human and you prepare to flee.

But your hands are tied and your eyes are glued,
on the wicked person that is now nude.
But when you see his pale body in the night’s light,
you can't but think he's beautiful, a beauty of the night.

But the admiration fades when the fear sets in,
he's approaching now, and you know he's going to sin.
He unbutton your shirt, take off your skirt, rips it off of you,
he takes of your bra, you scream when you realize what he’s going to do.

He cuts deep scars with a sharpened knife, in your soft skin,
as the blood flows, he prepares to fulfil his sin.

He doesn’t cut anymore, for he likes to watch you bleed.
He sees the light fade in your eyes, he know he'll succeed.
Your life will soon be a mere memory,
and your death will be an untold story.

Your killer puts on a mask, he's a mere shadow,
it’s a mere shadow, and it will kill again.

Okay I edited it but forgot to put my edits in diffrent colors so I suggest you read through it to see what I suggested. I mostly fixed punctuation and spelling but did tweak a couple parts that didn't flow as well.
Overall I really enjoyed this poem, I love it when someone just writes and doesn't really have a plan. That's something that I enjoy to do but usually when I do it my writing appears jumbled and does not make much sense. But your writing is very clear and easy to read, I also didn't think that the rythming was too much it was perfect for the poem. Thank you for posting I really loved reading this! Great Job, I will read some more of your writing I really enjoyed it!
-Snickerdooly

I thought this was an okay piece of literature, but it needs editing. The idea of it was super creepy and I felt disgusted after at what people can do. The story-line is your generic stalker story and doesn't really expand on why he's obsessed, what he sees in this girl. Why did he kill her? Was it senseless or motivated? There were so many holes in this story. It also should have been rated as younger audiences may stumble upon this and not be prepared for the content.

There were also many grammatical errors that need to be sorted out, though they've been found by other members so I won't go on about it. I liked the metaphor of the man being a shadow, but it also could have been handled with a bit more grace and transition. It seems blunt. I definitely liked that you began and ended with shadow.

With a little editing and listening to the comments above mine, this could become a great piece of writing instead of the rather awkward piece it is today. Keep working at it and I'm sure your talent will shine through.

Oh Thankueveryone.
I read it through now, gosh, I made terribly many spelling mistakes. Either I was really bad at english or I was lazy. Anyways, I'll check it over.
AND I KNOW, my rhyming must seem very forced and yes I have made poems without rhymes, or with lesser rhymes and not meaning to make it seem forced. But the whole thign with this was just for it to be a whole lot of rhyming, and I realize that thinking it through before writing it may have given it a more professional look.
But when I write, I have no time to think... an idea pops up and I have to with it before it is replaced. My mind is to occupied to be able to keep an idea at the surface while thinking of grammar and structure and the whole meaning with it. But yes... it could be something to work on Haha.
Thank you for all the help anyways!

Hugs and Hearts from Sagaa