Why are kids scared of the dark?

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It is the fear of diabolical apparition and unknown entity that terrorizes the minds of youths.
Blind anxiety is the state that shakes them, it is the thought of death and the feeling of despair that controls their emotions.




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I'm not sure how to respond to this. It's not that it's bad...I'm just not certain how to interpret this. Is it a story? poetry? just philosophical statements? Mind if I be nit-picky? It's the only way I know how. :wink:

It is the fear of a diabolical apparition and an unknown entity that terrorizes the minds of youths.
If a diabolical apparation and unknown entity are the same thing, you may consider writing it differently. "a fear of a diabolical apparation, an unknown entity, that terrorizes the minds of youths." I agree with you...that we fear the unknown, and children more-so, as everything is newer to them. This is what I call a telling sentence, though. You could expand it by finding ways to show us the reasons, give examples, maybe tell a story.

Blind anxiety is the state that shakes them, it is the thought of death and the feeling of despair that controls their emotions.
...Hm. 1. I've always thought that death is not something children typically fear, or at least, it is not specific toward them. 2. There are many other things that control emotions, and they are not all so depressing. 3. Do children usually feel despair? Or better, why do they feel despair? Explain. 4. I'm not sure that 'state' is quite the right word. 5. Quick nit-pick: the comma needs to be a semicolon, or you can separate them into two different sentences. They are two separate ideas.

Welcome to YWS! Keep writing and posting. You've been pretty active so far (15 posts, ya know. You just got here yesterday) That's good. :D

~Jacquie~
SPEW to You




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Thanks for your comments they have helped tremendously and thanks for welcoming me to the YWS, you are the first person who has done that.




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Why don't you introduce yourself in the Welcome forum? That way people will know you're new. :D
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Second that, the Welcome thread is built for new writers such as yourself.

As for this, it seems to lack substance. It is two sentences long. It seems like it has two sentences which are a thesis statement.

What is missing?

1. Details supporting your thesis statement.
2. In depth analysis of each detail.
3. A conclusion.

Can we get something more?
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What is this going to be? An article, an essay, or what? Depending on what it is, you might want to find out a bit more on the subject, write an introductory and add a conclusion statement at the end. That would help make it a bit more in-depth and a bit easier to understand.
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Apparently, it's a thesis statement...
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D




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That's the vibe I'm getting too.
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Short poem.
So true.
Wow.



You are in the wrong land even if the roosters recognize you.
— Nathalie Handal, "Noir, une lumière"