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Button
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Points 719
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Wed Nov 03, 2010 4:07 pm
Button says... · Wed Nov 03, 2010 4:07 pm
deleted.
Last edited by Button on Sun Dec 12, 2010 9:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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rememberme
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Wed Nov 03, 2010 7:50 pm
rememberme says... · Wed Nov 03, 2010 7:50 pm
Wow. Your really good. This is just... fantastic:D! Why have you guys grown apart? Hah! Shoooot! This could be a durnnn story!
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Velvet.whispers
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Wed Nov 03, 2010 11:45 pm
Velvet.whispers says... · Wed Nov 03, 2010 11:45 pm
Hey, this is really simple and sweet.
I love the natural delivery and this shows promise, but try and think about how each sentence sounds more, repeat your words in you head or out loud until they sound like exactly what you mean.
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AsxLoversxGo
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Thu Nov 04, 2010 1:39 am
AsxLoversxGo says... · Thu Nov 04, 2010 1:39 am
That's really, really cute and yet at the same time, really melancholy. Those are two emotions that you don't often see together.

I liked the bit about the smile.
"In YOUR Indo"
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4 posts


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