Time

To all who've read this...
the name of the inspiration of this poem is in itself...
look closely..
have fun!!

I'm impressed. It's wonderful. I like the tropes, which you use. They reinforce the impression of this poem. The rhymes are very natural. This is a unique ability. People which have it are very few. Of course, everyone will be able to tell in a rhyme a few lines. But not everyone will do it beautifully and invest in this any meaning. I've always admired these people.
But there is one thing, that I don't like: I believe this poem is standard. I have seen your style of writing many times. May be it seems so only to me.

/Sofia/

I just noticed that you are 13. Then it is very, very good for your age. I would say, it is exellent. I would never say that it was written by the boy at the thirteen age.
Continue to write, and try to develop your own writing style. I'm sure that you will succeed.
Do your best.

/Sofia/

GummyBearEater wrote:

Time
Time passes by like wind to me,
Unlocking the (I just think it will sound better future like a key,
Unseen by all, but treasured most,
And sometimes feared much like a ghost

You cannot hear it like a chime,
Because this silent thing’s called time,
When wasted it does not return,
Not an easy thing to learn

Never lives, and never dies,
And present in all clocks it lies,
Heard by no one as I say,
Though present all throughout the day

Endings will not make it end,
Death would never make it bend,
Unhappy thoughts would go away,
Joy and endless time will stay.

I just put in two suggestions in the top verse...

For your age, this is amazing And you answer the question "What is time?" Which is a pretty hard question to answer.

Keep writing!

Gero x

SofiaDesu wrote:I just noticed that you are 13. Then it is very, very good for your age. I would say, it is exellent. I would never say that it was written by the boy at the thirteen age.
Continue to write, and try to develop your own writing style. I'm sure that you will succeed.
Do your best.

I think this is a good poem. I like the tittle itself. Write more because I would love to read your writings.

Keep writing,

Alicia.

to those who've read my poem....
if you read the first letters from the bottom going up, you'll spot the dedication of this poem...
thanks for the comments..

Time
Time passes by like wind to me,
Unlocking future like a key,
Unseen by all but treasured most,
And sometimes feared much like a ghost

You cannot hear it like a chime,
Because this silent thing’s called time,
When wasted it does not return,
Not an easy thing to learn

Never lives, and never dies,
And present in all clocks it lies,
Heard by no one as I say,
Though present all throughout the day

Endings will not make it end,
Death would never make it bend,
Unhappy thoughts would go away,
Joy and endless time will stay.

it's an acrostic poem actually...
i did this for her but in a way so others won't notice

Endings will not make it end,
Death would never make it bend,
Unhappy thoughts would go away,
Joy and endless time will stay.

...Very good indeed..I love it and she would love it too,for sure...
..keep writing!..

i really hope she does....

Hi I like this poem, it has a good rhyming scheme and it flows very nicely.
I like some of the similitude you have used:

Unlocking future like a key,

I don't like this part:

...And sometimes feared much like a ghost

I know what you mean but I don't really like the similitude you've used I think you could have compared time to something else, the word "ghost" diminishes what people really feel when they think about time, but bear in mind that that is just me.

This sentence is nice and I agree with it:

Endings will not make it end,
Death would never make it bend,
Unhappy thoughts would go away,
Joy and endless time will stay.

Overall nice poem

thanks...
never thought you'd think it's that good...

GummyBearEater wrote:

Time
Time passes by like wind to me,
Unlocking future like a key,
Unseen by all but treasured most,
And sometimes feared much like a ghost

You cannot hear it like a chime,
Because this silent thing’s called time,
When wasted it does not return,
Not an easy thing to learn

Never lives, and never dies,
And present in all clocks it lies,
Heard by no one as I say,
Though present all throughout the day

Endings will not make it end,
Death would never make it bend,
Unhappy thoughts would go away,
Joy and endless time will stay.

This is a very good poem in my opinion. Though, of course, I do have some suggestions. In the first stanza, the last line seems to take away from the poem. I don't know why, but maybe you should change the line to something more... sophisticated. I think its the ghost thing. I don't know. Sorry, I dont know if this was very helpful, but I hope you will consider re-writing the line!
Thanks!

yes, i admit some lines are a bit off course...
that's because i meant to make it an acrostic...
otherwise the acrostic would have been ruined...

Awesome! cool poem, it kind of reminded me of a riddle, even though you knew what the answer was from the start. Cool topic too!