CHAPTER SEVEN
Melanie pounded on the bathroom mirror in frustration, pausing every time someone stirred in the next room. She knew that if anyone walked in, they'd make her go to bed, or even take her to talk to Cat, who wouldn't leave her alone until she explained everything. She really wasn't in the mood to talk.
Suddenly the mirror shattered and Melanie froze. She didn't dare move until she was sure no one had heard. As she waited, listening carefully for any sign that someone had woken up, she found her frustration dissolving. Slumping to the floor she gave in to the exhaustion that had been trailing her all week and didn't even try to get up. Her mind wandered back over the events of the past few days, searching for a logical explanation that she could give when they found the glass in the morning without revealing what was really troubling her.
Nothing else substantial had happened lately but she figured there must have been some conversation or encounter that she could blame for the mishap. Busy thinking over the possibilities, she barely even noticed the glass scattered around her or the jagged shard she held in her hand. As she considered and rejected various incidents, she began running the edge of the glass fragment along her arm. Her thoughts eventually wandered to the moment she’d noticed that Beth was no longer in the canoe with her. As hard as she tried to distract herself, Melanie couldn't keep her thoughts from returning to the very memory she was trying to avoid.
Once she let herself think about it for more than a few seconds, the scene continued to play over and over in her head, like a video on a continuous loop. Each repetition of the video revealed more terrible details until the whole event had seared itself into her head. She had worked so hard to forget that it was all her fault. Trapped within the memory of that horrible moment, she didn't even notice as the cuts on her arms deepened and blood began to run onto the floor.
Melanie never looked up as a flashlight beam lit up the bathroom or when the intruder slipped and almost fell. She was nearly suffocating from the accusing words and emotional turmoil that was overwhelming her mind. She was dimly aware of a familiar female voice calling her name but couldn't answer. She needed the last of her strength to keep from giving in entirely.
The voice refused to leave her alone. "I need you to wake up, Melanie. I know you can hear me," the voice said calmly. "I need you to listen to me. I don't know what's going on in your head right now, but I'm here for you. Let me help you and I promise we'll get through this together. I will not leave you alone. You are safe here."
You are safe. Melanie almost laughed. The voice had to be demented. There was nothing remotely safe about any of this. Yet somehow, deep in the back of her mind, the words made sense. You are safe. Safe. The voice was so sure, and somehow Melanie knew that it was true and desperately wanted to be able to accept it. Summoning up the last of her strength Melanie whispered, "Help me," and immediately felt strong arms surround her and bring her gently back to the present.
"You're safe, Mel." the voice repeated. "I've got you and I'm not going to let you go." Cat took the glass carefully out of Melanie's hand. Grabbing a towel off the rack, she wrapped Melanie's arms and kept pressure on the cuts as she continued her quiet monologue, trying desperately to calm Melanie down before she could turn on her protector. "I won't let anyone hurt you. I'll be right here with you until we get everything worked out. It may take a while, but we'll get through this together and things will get better. You're not alone anymore." Slowly Melanie relaxed, and allowed Cat to lead her to a glass-free corner of the room, under a light, to get a better look at the damage.
Neat parallel lines covered Melanie's wrists, extending down her arms, those on the right arm slightly more crooked and shallower than the cuts on her other arm. The force of the breaking glass would have sent bits flying in all directions, as the scratches and marks on Melanie's face testified. She had a gash on the back of her head where she'd fallen against the wall. There were a few jagged cuts, and the knuckles on her right hands were scraped, but over all the damage was far less than Cat had expected from the amount of blood. Now that the bleeding had stopped, Cat worked to bandage the most severe cuts, concentrating on the task at hand, trying not to let herself understand what the girl's injuries meant.
With the worst of the cuts taken care of, Cat put her arm around Melanie's shoulders and led her quietly to the infirmary. After the sedative that the nurse had given Melanie kicked in and she fell asleep, Cat headed back to clean up the mess in the bathroom. She already had two girls to worry about. No use getting the others all upset too.
She worked quickly and the bathroom was soon as close to normal as she could do silently in the middle of the night. A new mirror would have to wait for a few days. As the adrenaline wore off, Cat made her way wearily back to her cabin, already dreading the incident report she would have to make to Meredith in the morning. It was always hard when a student who seemed to be doing well turned out to be in more trouble than anyone had realised. Cat collapsed gratefully on the bed, blood still trickling where shards of glass had embedded themselves in the bottoms of her feet. Her last thought before she fell asleep was that she must have done something wrong. She'd felt so sure that she was finally getting through to Melanie. Clearly she had missed something.
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"Come in," Meredith called, already busy in her office, though the sun was barely up. Cat had slept for a few hours, but questions about Melanie had woken her early and she'd decided to see if Meredith was around yet.
Cat hobbled carefully into the room and took the offered seat by the window. Looking out over the lake, the two counsellors tried to figure out as much as they could about what had happened the night before.
"Mary was too scared to be much help," Cat told Meredith. "She hadn't seen enough to be able to tell me anything, and I could tell the blood was making her nervous so I sent her to bed. It's a good thing she came for me though. I don’t want to think about what would have happened if no one had found Melanie until morning."
"But you did get there in time to help her. Don't dwell on what might have been." Meredith counselled. "The important thing is that you continue to be there to help Melanie work through things. She needs you right now."
"I don't know how much help I'll be," Cat sighed. “She’s made so much progress since she got here, but Beth's death really threw her. I thought the kids were all starting to come to terms with the accident. Obviously I was wrong. I just don’t understand them anymore. First Beth and now Melanie."
“You helped Beth so much,” Meredith said softly. “She told me that she wants to come back here as a counsellor so she can help other kids like you helped her. You're a better counsellor now than you were when I hired you," Meredith reassured Cat. "If I didn't think you could do your job, I'd have asked you to leave. It's true that things are more complicated now than when we were teens, but that just means you have to be more patient, and more creative to reach your students. It's going to take time before you start seeing results. Give yourself a chance. I'll be taking you and Melanie up to the safe house right after breakfast. You'll have lots of time to work things out."
"So I guess that's it then. This really wasn't an accident?" Cat asked. She knew the answer but desperately hoped she was wrong.
"It wasn't an accident," Meredith confirmed. "but you knew that already. You’ve seen her records. It’s not like this is the first student you've had to take to the safe house when you found out they were cutting."
"I was hoping there was another explanation this time. I still don't understand how someone could do that to themselves. I mean, I've studied the psychology of it, but in a practical situation it just doesn't make sense to me."
"Most people don't realise how dangerous certain thought patterns and coping mechanisms can become," Meredith said quietly. "That's why we try so hard to teach them better ways to think about their problems and deal with situations."
Cat glanced at the clock. "I should get going if I'm going to be with Melanie when she wakes up. The sedative should be wearing off about now."
They walked together to the infirmary, Cat drawing silent strength from her mentor along the way. When they reached Melanie's room, Meredith turned to Cat. "You should both have something to eat, and then pack your bags. I'll be back for you in an hour." Cat slipped into Melanie's room as Meredith left and was glad to find that she was just starting to stir. She wasn't sure how much Melanie would remember from the night before but Cat knew it was important that she keep her promise to be there even if Melanie didn't remember it.
Cat studied Melanie's injuries as she waited for her to wake up. She'd expected to be able to see more clearly in the daylight, but the bandages covering Melanie's forearms kept her from making a clear assessment of the damage. It couldn't be too bad if they were letting her out of the infirmary to hike to the safe house.
Blinking away some of the fog from her mind, Melanie focussed on the face beside her. As she noticed the bare walls of the infirmary and the bandages on her arms, she knew that something had gone very wrong. She remembered being very upset about Beth and beating the walls in frustration but how would that have led her to spend the night in the infirmary?
"How are you feeling?" Cat asked
"I'm okay," Melanie said slowly, "but I don’t remember coming over here."
"I found you bleeding on the bathroom floor last night," Cat told her. "The nurse says you're good to go once you have some breakfast. I just wanted to make sure you were awake before I brought your tray."
"I don't really feel like eating," Melanie told her, "but I know you're going to make me. I hope it's something good."
Cat smiled a bit as she stood up to leave. "I'll see what I can find."
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When Cat arrived in the dining hall the students were just gathering for breakfast. She spotted Mary already at a table and took a seat beside her. "Please tell me she's alright," Mary asked immediately.
"It'll take some time, but Melanie will be fine," Cathleen told her. "How are you doing this morning?"
"Things are looking better in the daylight," Mary replied. "But it sure took me a long time to go back to sleep. Can I go see her? I think I'd feel better if I could see for myself that she's alright."
"That won't be possible," Cat told her. "We're heading for the safe house right after breakfast. But I'll tell Melanie you're thinking about her. You could say a prayer for her if you think of it." Gathering up the trays, Cat said goodbye to Mary and headed back to the infirmary.
Within half an hour, Meredith was knocking on the door. "Are you ready to go?" she called. "We need to head out as soon as possible." Cat beckoned her in as she rose from her chair beside the bed.
"We're as ready as we'll ever be," she told Meredith, taking her pack from beside the door and swinging it onto her back. Beside her, Melanie also grabbed her pack, wincing as the straps scraped over her arms.
"How far do we have to go?" she asked the counsellors.
"We'll be there when we get there," was the only answer she got..
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What was usually a two hour hike stretched into three, as Cat and Melanie struggled to keep up to Meredith with their sore feet. Finally Cat stopped by the edge of the trail and sank down on a large rock. "I've got to rest a minute," she told them. "I know this pack isn't that heavy, but it sure feels like a lot right now." Setting down her pack, Cat eased off her shoes and socks, to pick out several more bits of glass.
"You should have said something." Meredith told her. "I didn't know you were hurt too."
"It's nothing really. I barely even noticed," Cat stated.
"We'll take it slow," Meredith promised. "There's no hurry."
It was nearly another hour before they caught sight of the cabin through the trees.
"Where are we?" Melanie asked.
"At the safe house." Cat told her.
"But where is that?"
"Where isn't important," Meredith said. Unlocking the door she led them inside. Melanie surveyed the small room cautiously. Two single beds lined the wall to the left of the door while a pair of chairs were tucked beneath a simple table along the opposite wall. Two small windows on either side of the door provided the only natural light. On the far side of the room was a single door that she assumed led to the bathroom. She'd stayed in enough hotels to be able to judge the quality of a room quite easily and this place was definitely not on her top ten list.
Although it looked reasonably clean the room was completely devoid of character or any source of entertainment. What exactly were they supposed to do out here? "Are you listening to me," Meredith repeated.
"Were you talking to me?" Melanie asked. "I guess I'm a bit distracted. I don't get why we have to come all the way out here to a place that's even worse than the dorms. What's out here that we couldn't find on campus?"
"Privacy," Meredith replied. "You and Cat will be staying here for a while. Everything you need is in your packs. I'll be back in a few days with some more food and we'll re-assess the situation then. In the meantime, your journal is in your pack, and I know the two of you have a lot to talk about." Gesturing towards the far bed, she sent Melanie to unpack her bag.
Turning to Cat, Meredith finished her instructions "You've been through this before so you know the drill. You've got the radio if you need to contact me for anything. It's going to be a rough few days, but I know you can do this." Moving towards the bed where Cat was sitting, Meredith rummaged in the nearest pack for the first aid kit. "Let me take a look at your feet," she said. "We can't have you getting an infection out here."
When Melanie came back from the bathroom, Meredith gathered up her things and headed out the door. "I'll be back in a few days," she reminded them as the sound of her key in the lock echoed through the silent room.
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