Faded Memory

You used to be my dearest friend,
The one I told my secrets too.
I thought we'd always be together,

You used to be the one I loved,
The one who would always be there,
The one who always cared,
The one who would always understand.

You used to be a real person,
Not just somone I saw in pictures.
You were the person I always wanted to be like,
I was the same thing to you.

I thought it'd always be like that.
I thought nothing would ever change.

I was wrong.

Now years have passed,
And I've almost forgotten you.
If it hadn't been for your profile on Facebook,
Who knows if I ever would have seen you again.
If you call that seeing.

Did you know that sometimes,
I dreamed of marrying you?
Silly as it is,
It's true.
You were my childhood crush,
Not something in my control.

Did you know I used to clean my room,
For when you'd come over.
Crazy, right?
That's how much you meant to me.

And did you know I used to write out initials together.
ND+LG=♥
Nick,
Do you realize how important you were?

Now you're just a ghost of my past,
Almost a figment of my imagination.
Just a covered up trail,
On the path of my childhood.

Just a faded memory,
Threatening to dissapear,
Forever.


Comments and critiques are deeply appreciated. It's been a while since I could be able to write. I guess I just lost my muse for a while...

iheartbooks wrote:You used to be my dearest friend,
The one I told my secrets too.
I thought we'd always be together,

You used to be the one I loved,
The one who would always be there,
The one who always cared,
The one who would always understand.

You used to be a real person,
Not just somone I saw in pictures.
You were the person I always wanted to be like,
I was the same thing to you.

I thought it'd always be like that.
I thought nothing would ever change.

I was wrong.

Now years have passed,
And I've almost forgotten you.
If it hadn't been for your profile on Facebook,
Who knows if I ever would have seen you again.
If you call that seeing.

Did you know that sometimes,
I dreamed of marrying you?
Silly as it is,
It's true.
You were my childhood crush,
Not something in my control.

Did you know I used to clean my room,
For when you'd come over.
Crazy, right?
That's how much you meant to me.

And did you know I used to write out initials together.
ND+LG=♥
Nick,
Do you realize how important you were?

Now you're just a ghost of my past,
Almost a figment of my imagination.
Just a covered up trail,
On the path of my childhood.

Just a faded memory,
Threatening to dissapear,
Forever.


Comments and critiques are deeply appreciated. It's been a while since I could be able to write. I guess I just lost my muse for a while...

Ok, i just can't find a correct word for dissapear...i know it is spelled wrongly...just i don't know the correct spelling

Hello there.

So this was good. A subject writers write a lot about it, but you can't really go wrong with it since pretty much everyone can relate to it, so good job for that. It was beautifully written, only a few mistakes.

The one I told my secrets to.

Only one "O" in this case.

And did you know I used to write our initials together.

Our, not out.

Threatening to disappear,

Like ZLYF mentioned, it wasn't the right spelling.

Apart from that, I think you're good.

Keep writing!

-Other One

You used to be my dearest friend,
The one I told my secrets too.
I thought we'd always be together,
You used to be the one I loved,
The one who would always be there,
The one who always cared,
The one who would always understand.
You used to be a real person,
Not just somone I saw in pictures.
You were the person I always wanted to be like,
I was the same thing to you
I thought it'd always be like that.
I thought nothing would ever change
I was wrong.Now years have passed
And I've almost forgotten you.

If it hadn't been for your profile on Facebook,
Who knows if I ever would have seen you again.
If you call that seeing.Did you know that sometimes,
I dreamed of marrying you?Silly as it is,It's true.
You were my childhood crush,Not something in my control.
Did you know I used to clean my room,For when you'd come over.
Crazy, right?
That's how much you meant to me.
And did you know I used to write out initials together.
ND+LG=♥Nick,
Do you realize how important you were?
Now you're just a ghost of my past,
Almost a figment of my imagination.
Just a covered up trail,
On the path of my childhood.
Just a faded memory,
Threatening to dissapear,Forever

Hey..um if this is a real experience hopefully ur okay. U should try to either move on or talk to that person. If they don't respond its their loss...i've been through a similiar experience and its very painful, but we have so much responsiblities in our daily lives that how can we just stop living to dwell right? So I've cried my tears and moved on... Anyways, I really liked this poem because its so relatable probably to millions of people although its uniquely yours at the same time. It shows the pain and bitterness of the speaker as she tries to talk to this long ago lover of hers.
However, I didn't really like the last line. The words "threatening to dissapear" don't fit, in my opinion, because first of all, this person has already been dissapearing from her memory and threatening paints a rather menacing picture. Maybe you could switch it to "Softly dissapearing, Forever?" I don't know. Good work though!! Keep it up
.

iheartbooks wrote:You used to be my dearest friend,
The one I told my secrets too.
I thought we'd always be together,

You used to be the one I loved,
The one who would always be there,
The one who always cared,
The one who would always understand.

You used to be a real person,
Not just somone I saw in pictures.
You were the person I always wanted to be like,
I was the same thing to you.

I thought it'd always be like that.
I thought nothing would ever change.

I was wrong.

Now years have passed,
And I've almost forgotten you.
If it hadn't been for your profile on Facebook,
Who knows if I ever would have seen you again.
If you call that seeing.

Did you know that sometimes,
I dreamed of marrying you?
Silly as it is,
It's true.
You were my childhood crush,
Not something in my control.

Did you know I used to clean my room,
For when you'd come over.
Crazy, right?
That's how much you meant to me.

And did you know I used to write out initials together.
ND+LG=♥
Nick,
Do you realize how important you were?

Now you're just a ghost of my past,
Almost a figment of my imagination.
Just a covered up trail,
On the path of my childhood.

Just a faded memory,
Threatening to dissapear,
Forever.


Comments and critiques are deeply appreciated. It's been a while since I could be able to write. I guess I just lost my muse for a while...

Hi, I am here to review your poem and I hope I can be helpful.

1.The one I told my secrets too, I think you mean to instead of too

2.You used to be a real person,
Not just somone I saw in pictures.

see here you lost me, becuase people you see in pictures are actually real people. I think you meant to say that you actually had a relationship of friendship or love with this peron unlike other people. Try to rephrase you sentece so that it suits your point.

3.Who knows if I ever would have seen you again.
If you call that seeing.

Who knows if I ever would have seen you again. This should be: Who knows if I would ever see you again

4.Did you know I used to clean my room,
For when you'd come over.

You should say, Did you know I would clean my room becuase your poem is already in the past tense

Plus, there should be a question mark here after "come over".



Now you're just a ghost of my past,
Almost a figment of my imagination.
Just a covered up trail,
On the path of my childhood.

Just a faded memory,
Threatening to dissapear,
Forever.

This is my favorite part of your poem, it's really deep! I had the feeling that most your sentences before were a little naive, and honestly I wish I could help you rephrase it, but I can't anyway, this was honest, a little "usual" but nice. Try to edit it and make it look better.