football

11 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1049
Reviews 52
look at them
dancing, prancing,
it's all for show
ritual mating dance
round they go
butting heads
muscles flexed
sweat drips
as they run up and down
chanting
tribal grudges rule
trying to catch female attention
while keeping up with the competition
screaming other males away
from the magic symbols
painted on the turf
pagan war games
full of strikers and defenders
prayers offered up
when their goal is achieved
the religious experience
they call football

bluecows :wink:
Last edited by bluecows on Thu Mar 13, 2008 6:36 pm, edited 6 times in total.
To see a world in a grain of sand and a heaven in a wild flower,
hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour. – William Blake

I was lying in bed, watching the stars and i thought, 'where the hell is the ceiling?' :wink:




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 688
well, rewrite the words "it's" "other" "keeping up" and "competition" and you'll be fine. typos, i'm sure.
i really liked this. it was actually sort of funny. and very true - i suppose i've just never looked at it this way, but it's exactly correct in everyway.

(it's certainly something i'd love to show to the room of unruly, perverted 40 year old men that will inhabit my house this sunday...and as I serve them food. :roll: )
Carpe Diem.




Random avatar
Gender None specified
Points 890
Reviews 212
The analogy would work better if you kept the actual subject, football, hidden until the end.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1049
Reviews 52
i thought i had??
To see a world in a grain of sand and a heaven in a wild flower,
hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour. – William Blake

I was lying in bed, watching the stars and i thought, 'where the hell is the ceiling?' :wink:




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 9692
Reviews 3900
Nope... the title is always the first thing you see of a poem.
Ubi caritas est vera, Deus ibi est.

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." ~ Richard Bach

Moth and Myth <- My comic! :D




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1049
Reviews 52
:oops:
To see a world in a grain of sand and a heaven in a wild flower,
hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour. – William Blake

I was lying in bed, watching the stars and i thought, 'where the hell is the ceiling?' :wink:




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1049
Reviews 52
:oops:
To see a world in a grain of sand and a heaven in a wild flower,
hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour. – William Blake

I was lying in bed, watching the stars and i thought, 'where the hell is the ceiling?' :wink:




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1049
Reviews 52
:oops:
To see a world in a grain of sand and a heaven in a wild flower,
hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour. – William Blake

I was lying in bed, watching the stars and i thought, 'where the hell is the ceiling?' :wink:




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 94
It was painful to have my favourite sport described thus. :shock: I know the next time I'll watch a football match I'll be thinking about your poem at the same time trying not to think about it. :x
The Football Freak.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1125
Reviews 368
Honestly its not that good,I am not telling its totally very stupid but its like not up to the mark.Umm..linesof that football spirit should be there to make it sound nice.anyway u can improve :)




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1125
Reviews 368
Honestly its not that good,I am not telling its totally very stupid but its like not up to the mark.Umm..lines of that football spirit should be there to make it sound nice.anyway u can improve :)



"I never expected that I should be a queen so soon."
— Alice's Adventures in Wonderland