School can go into a corner and cut its wrists. Metaphorically speaking, of course.
“Alice! Wait up.”
I resisted the urge to throw my backpack into his face. Though the strong urge itched at my fingers I managed to say no the temptation no matter how very strongly I wanted to act on it. The only real thing stopping me was the effort I’d have to put into it. That and he was walking behind me. My aim would be way off if I chucked it blindly behind.
Besides, I didn’t know him that well. He’d only become my stalker for the last ten minutes, since the bell rang at three. And he’d been pissing me off ever since. It didn’t help that this was my first day at a new school.
“Never call me Alice. It’s Al,” was my growled reply, hot anger escaping through my mouth, like breathing fire… Now, that would be cool.
“Al. Right, sorry. What’s so bad about your name anyway?”
“Uhh. Hello!?” I gestured wildly at my body.
Jack frowned, black eyebrows crinkling and his chocolate eyes narrowing, “I don’t see what you’re getting at, Al.”
Oh, screw the wasted effort – this would be so worth it. I stopped mid-step, swivelled on my foot and lobbed my backpack forward, but not aimed at his face. Just in his general direction. It was just luck that it hit his face anyway. My act of unadulterated violence was accompanied with a shouted, “I’m a guy, Jack. A guy!”
Jack rubbed tenderly at his face as the backpack slid slowly off his body and flopped soundly onto the ground, “And… that has something to do with your name, why?”
I wanted my backpack back. Not because I needed it, but I wanted to throw it at him again. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and counted to ten. Then I looked over to Jack and noticed the baffled expression on his face. He really didn’t get it. A face-palm in this situation would’ve been wonderful and perfectly suited, but I didn’t usually act on my thoughts.
“You know what? Never mind your pretty little mind about it,” I smirked at him, putting as much emphasis on the word little as possible.
“Pretty, indeed.”
I hated people who were up themselves…
Taking a few steps forward, I bent down, picked up my backpack and threw it at him again. Maybe he’d go away now. I walked off, trying to get rid of him. The sound of feet pounding cement quickly followed after a moment hesitation. Jack’s heavy breathing echoed behind me and rolling my eyes I slowed down. Hey, you can’t bail on someone no matter how narcissistic they are. Something foreign nudged my shoulder and I glanced back sceptically.
Jack was offering me my bag, a play-hurt look on his face, “I didn’t deserve that one.”
“Yeah, yeah you did. It was an insult, not a compliment. Stop being so optimistic,” I scowled at him as I snatched the backpack from his hands.
“Fine then. Whatever you say. Al…ice,” Jack’s voice became so low I almost didn’t hear it. Almost.
“Go die in a hole or something.”
“I choose something, go something-mon!”
“God, I hate you.”
“Not need to be hating on the Creator.”
“I… gah! You’re so irritating! I’m not even religious. I’m an atheist!”
“Nawwww, you created a word that means you love me.”
“No. No. I didn’t and I don’t love you. Not at all. Hell, I don’t even like you.”
“All I hear is, “Take me, I’m yours!” But no, I’m sorry, I’m already taken, my friend. My heart only beats for one,” he pattered his hands over his chest, trying to simulate a heart-beat, but failing hard. If he had that heart-beat he’d dying from a heart-attack. Come to think of it, that might be preferable…
“Right… And who’s that?” I asked feigning interest. Maybe he’d go away if I asked him uncomfortable questions. The laughter of my evil conscience chortled through my head for a moment as if deeply satisfied by its release.
“Alice Samantha.”
“That’s sorta disturbing, you know,” I replied as I slammed the backpack on. A shiver ran up my spine.
“What is?”
I stared at him incredulously, just to check if he was just messing with me. He looked perfectly confused again. I decided to give his idiocy the benefit of the doubt, “We have the same first name…”
“Oh… OH! Wow. I can see how that would be disturbing.”
Thank god he understood something. His limited sympathy was beginning to get on my nerv-
“And she’s a girl! Wow. I never realised that Alice was originally a boy’s name. I thought it was exotic, like Egyptian or something.”
Mega-super-ultra-face-palm. Was he yanking my chain here? Like seriously? Maybe I could ditch him here. Now. Would this get rid of him?
“Why are you following me?”
“I want you.”
My breath choked in my throat as I ceased living momentarily. As my senses slammed me back to Earth, I screamed, “What!?”
A guilty smile crept over his face, as his cheeks grew red, “I was just joking… No need to take it so serious or anything. Harmful fun. Anyway, truth is I live this way. And I need to get home somehow.”
Oh. Right. Right.
Silence reigned supreme as we walked on. It was actually nice. No one talking. At all. Relaxing. Then… of course, Jack had to ruin it all.
“Why is your name Alice anyway?”
The need to explain over-righted my need to kill him, “My bloody parents. They loved the story Alice in Wonderland. And that was that. I didn’t have a choice in the matter.”
“You were a baby… you couldn’t even speak then.”
“Sarcasm, Jack, sarcasm. Learn it some time.”
“I will one day.”
“Wait… was that sarcasm then?”
“What are you talking about?”
“I… arghhh… stay away from me! You are detrimental to my intelligence. You have a ten metre diameter field around you which stores stupidness in it. It also has the effects of negative thirty IQ points to anyone in your vicinity. Leave!”
I don’t usually yell. In fact, I’m a pretty relaxed guy. Jack seemed to bring out… the evilness in me. This is not a good thing, by the way. I’m a good guy, honest. Ok. Maybe I’m not, but I’m not usually this angry.
“Yes, your majesty! On the double, your majesty. Right away, your majesty. Whatever you say, your majesty.”
“You could go on for days, huh?” The question grated out of my mouth.
“Indeed I could, your majesty. Is that what the majesty wants, your majesty? If it is, your majesty, consider it done, your majesty.”
“What if I killed you… would that stop you?” The urge would be too strong to stop it if he didn’t leave alone soon enough.
“You wish. Oh, well, as your resident genie consider your wish granted. This is my stop. Bye.”
I glanced up to the house, to my horror. No. No. This couldn’t be happening. Did the universe hate me? Did it? Really? As Jack waved his goodbye and disappeared into his house I dragged my feet towards my own.
Right next door.
Spoiler
(Random, I know. I just needed to do SOMETHING creative.)
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