No World is Mine

3 posts
Random avatar
Gender Male
Points 5889
Reviews 111
It has been a while since I have been on here because I have been working on getting my novel published, but this is a poem I wrote recently about some ridiculous things that have happened in my school.

What world do I live in now?
Friends are enemies
The ones I love have left.

Everything that I once knew has disappeared,
Consumed by the greed others have around me.

Taken by souls who have no courage
only a sickly cowardice that has grasped
my core.

Where I live
What I am
What I know is lost
trapped in another realm
a better place
that I cannot escape to.

I have been betrayed
and thrown aside

Burned and beaten

Buried alive by shades
I thought to be my kin.

Now what am I?
What do I have left?

What I loved most
stabbed me
And left me to bleed
out on the floor.

What my passion was
left me to die.

Now I wander alone,
lost in this world,
Angry
Enraged
Confused

Asking simply
Why?
-Dante93




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1512
Reviews 33
dante93 wrote:What I loved most
stabbed me
And left me to bleed
out on the floor.

What my passion was
left me to die.

Now I wander alone,
lost in this world,
Angry
Enraged
Confused

Asking simply
Why?



This is my favorite part of your poem, why? I believe that is has emotion to it, detail. I think the way you ended your poem was a great way. Simple, yet questioning. Lost in this world? Well aren't we all?

If you have any questions or comments feel free to PM me

-Soggy
Life isn't like a box of chocolates. Life is more like a jar of Jalapenos, what you do today might burn your rear tomorrow!




User avatar
Gender None specified
Points 1040
Reviews 2
This is a strategically well-detailed poem. I like how you appeal to the emotions of an empathetic reader. The ending was G-R-E-A-T. A question always leaves an inquiry after you are done reading. Why do we find ourselves lost in this world sometimes? Maybe because we are deficient of a world fully ours. Very good elaborated indeed. Congratulations.



What a piece of work is a man! How noble in reason, how infinite in faculty, in form and moving how express and admirable, in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like a god -- the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals!
— William Shakespeare