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Call of the Dragon-Prologue Newly Revised

bluewaterlily · 2010-10-16T20:25:38Z

This is the preface of a new novel I'm working on. It's kind of an Asian fantasy story about dragons. The crowd of dragon parted as Kier angrily stalked up to his brother, Yein. Uneasy looks were exchanged as the massive black dragon glared at Yein, eyes blazing with hatred. Yein lifted his head with dignity and met his brother's gaze calmly. "What do you want, Kier?" he asked. "I want what should have been rightfully mine, the title of King." Yein's heart skipped a beat, and growls of surprise could be heard from the mouths of hundreds of dragons. I suppose it was only a matter of time before this happened, Yein thought ruefully. Being the eldest, Yein was given the thing his brother wanted most in the world, the title of King. But when a dragon challenged another dragon, they had to fight to the death. This left Keir at an unfair advantage, for Yein was bound to the Ancient Laws established by the first Dragon King that prohibited him from killing another of his own kind. If that wasn't bad enough, if Yein refused then he would be exiled and Keir would become King. Inwardly, Yein cursed the foolish first Dragon King and the frivolous Ancient Laws. Kier stared at Yein smugly. Yein returned his brother's gaze confidently, but inside, he was a wreck. Hundreds of fearful faces stared at Yein. His heart constricted. They were his people, and he would fight for the. The thought of losing terrified him. But if he didn't try, then Keir would become King. And that thought was too much to bear. "I accept your challenge," Yein said quietly. Keir shot him a smug look before unfurling his wings and flying off into the distance. Yein stared at the crowd of dragons. They stared back, and even though Yein could see the fear in their eyes, he also saw something else, hope. Yein averted his gaze, unable to bear their hopeful faces. But then he realized he was allowing himself to slip into despair. If he despaired, then he was already as good as lost, and this was one fight he couldn't lose. Yein summoned his strength. After taking one last glance at the crowd, Yein spread his wings and took flight, straining to catch up with his brother. Since he had a strenuous, lithe build, Yein was able to catch up with Keir easily. For hours they circled the night sky. Keir was so dark he blended in with the night sky. For hours, they had circled each other, a tense silence in the air. The only sound that could be heard was the beating of wings and the Keir's agitated breathing. His muscles were taut with impatience. Not able to bear it any longer, the Keir let forth a roar so mighty, the earth shook. Then he charged, bombarding the his brother with a series of attacks using tooth, claw, and fire. However, Yein avoided every blow, twirling nimbly out the way with every attack. Growing angrier, the black dragon’s attacks became faster and stronger, fueled by rage. Though, his strength faded quickly, and in a matter of minutes, his muscles burned like the fire within him. Even though the black dragon saw his brother preparing to attack him, he had not the strength or energy stop him. A roar of pain and fury escaped his mouth as the Yein's razor-sharp claws raked his side. “You’re too impatient, brother,” Yein said, as if he weren’t battling his brother, but instructing a student. Slowly, his tense muscles eased. “If you weren’t so impatient and angry, than perhaps you could defeat me.” His brother glowered at him, flames of hatred blazing in his eyed. Drops of hot dragon blood splattered the ground, though Keir didn't notice, so strong was his hatred for Yein, Summoning his last bit of strength, Keir roared defiantly and attacked. However, the white dragon easily blocked the black dragon’s feeble attempt of an attack. He shook his head reproachfully. “Have you learned nothing, brother? You will stop at nothing, will you? But you are still a threat to the world. That is why you shall be put to sleep for all eternity.” It would be easier to kill the black dragon, but being the King of Dragons, Yein could was bound by the Ancient Laws, which prohibited him from killing another of his own kind. If only his foolish brother hadn't tried to challenge him for the title of king. The white dragon touched his snout to his brother's forehead, willing him to sleep. Even though Yein spoke calmly, he knew his spell would not keep his brother asleep forever, for to cast such a powerful spell would cost him his life. He just hoped his brother didn’t know this secret. He could only hope that his brother stayed asleep for a long time and that when he woke up, the white dragon was more prepared to fight him. If only his foolish brother hadn't tried to challenge him for the title of king. The spell had affected the white dragon as well, for his energy felt nearly depleted. Knowing there was nothing he could do, the Yein turned and began to fly away. “What are you doing?” Come and face me, you coward!” Keir bellowed. "I'll be back with someone who can defeat you," the Yein reassured him, and then he flew off. Despite his humiliation, he was relieved Yein had left. There was no way he could stand a chance against his brother, for his wound was getting worse, and the spell was beginning to take affect. A heavy fog seemed to cloud Keir's mind, but he refused to give into sleep-at least not yet. He had to find a place to land and rest before he fell from the sky. The dragon’s mind raced, trying to think of a place to rest. He remembered seeing a cave somewhere among the cliffs that he had flown over while dueling his brother. Diving, Keir frantically searched the crags, trying to find the cave. When he began to despair, his eyes caught sight of a cavern wedged between two cliffs. It was more of a crevice actually-at least to a dragon. He eyed the cavern dubiously, wondering if he would be able to squeeze into it. He had to, for Keir knew sleep would overcome him in a matter of minutes. Slowly, Keir eased himself into the cave. The roof was low, and the walls were narrow, so he felt closed in. At least it is cool, the he thought, his eyes already half-closed. Don’t worry, brother, I will awaken and I will defeat you. For he and his brother knew that the spell was not powerful enough to keep the black dragon asleep forever. How foolish does he think I am? No dragon-not even the King of Dragons- could cast a spell that powerful without taking their life. Reassured by this, the Keir allowed himself to slip into the realm of dreams.

Which title sounds better?

Poll ended at Sun Oct 17, 2010 8:25 pm

1)Call of the Dragon: 9; 50%

2) Dragon's Call: 9; 50%

: Total votes : 18

Piper

Gender

Points 465

Reviews 81

Tue Dec 07, 2010 1:32 am

Piper says... · Tue Dec 07, 2010 1:32 am

I really like the whole dragon thing. Very few stories are acctually about dragons. Or from the dragon's point of view. It's written really well, I love how I can almost feel Yein's irritation, with his brother and the laws. I do want to know more about Keir though. I didn't sense an ulterior motive, Just that he wanted the throne, and it would be bad if he got it. Mind explaining? Other than that, it was great. Keep Writing!

Cats are like characters. You may say they're yours, but in reality, they own you. ~Me

You can take away all the arts you want, but soon, the children won't have anything to read or write about. ~Glen Holland

Quote

I have hated words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right.
— Markus Zusak, The Book Thief

Call of the Dragon-Prologue Newly Revised

Which title sounds better?

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