Red Silk Noose

Red Silk Noose

Scars on my wrists
Blood red silk
Decorate my skin
Replace the pain
From within
Blood lust pain
Now meets the skin
Relief
From the brokenness inside
From the thoughts of you
Never enough
Always failing
Never winning
From the hopelessness inside
That kills a piece of me
Daily
Blood stained carpet
Soft white floor
Speckled red, white and blue
I’m slowing dying
But you could never tell
All you would see
A girl with a plastic smile
Eyes of brown and skin so fair
Longing to be like them
Longing to fit in
Find my place among the flawless
Red lipped lies
And soft silk noose
Wrap your way around me
Suffocation for the lost
Let me hang among the living
Dead inside but beautifully broken
Waiting for someone to cut me down
Throw me inside the tomb
Once and for all
Leave me to return
To the dust from which I came
And fade into my immortal soul

The imagery of a 'soft silk noose' is impressive. It really causes the reader to keep reading and get into it.

I love this, and it really does draw the attention of a reader.
Not only the title, but the entire poem, and that is something that I love.
I don't think I can really say too much because I'm still reading and re-reading it.
It's original and emotive, and do not get me started on the imagery. I could almost see the blood dripping onto the carpet.
This is really amazing, you have a talent that's for sure.

- GhostlyImpressions

Wow, the way you made the whole poem to come back to the red silk noose is wonderful. This poem has some good imagry as well, which makes up the best of poems. I think that seperating this into stanzas could make it a lot easier to read and make it flow brtter. So, I have a habit of Nit-Pinking through poems, but worry not, I point out good and bad.

Scars on my wrists << Here I think you should just omit this line...

I think this because, thoughout the poem you make it clear what has happened, this just takes away from the way that you bring acrass a lot of the thingd in this poem.

Blood red silk
Decorate my skin
Replace the pain
From within

This is a good beginning, the only thing that I have to comment on is that the last part "From within" seems too short...

Blood lust pain
Now meets the skin
Relief
From the brokenness inside So, here, I think you should put somethink other then "Brokenness" The word really doesn't fit... I don't really think that is a word.
From the thoughts of you

Other then that this is good to. Here you begin to see why she feels this way. Maybe clarify who the "you" is in this poem.

Never enough
Always failing
Never winning << I think you should put somethink like "Never relief" ater this line.
From the hopelessness inside
That kills a piece of me

With that added line this part makes more sence. Right now, it doesn't.

Daily
Blood stained carpet
Soft white floor
Speckled red, white, and blue
I’m slowing dying
But you could never tell

So, here, you say that the white carpet is stained red, white, and blue. I see were the red comes from, you really don't need to say white agian, we already now the carpet is white, and I really don't see where the blue is coming from... I may just be missing it though, I'm kind off slow sometimes. Other then that, this too, is good.

All you would see
A girl with a plastic smile
Eyes of brown and skin so fair
Longing to be like them
Longing to fit in
Find my place among the flawless

This is one of my favorite parts, I like the " girl with a plastic smile" part. Now agian you see what is wrong with speaker.

Red lipped lies
And soft silk noose
Wrap your way around me
Suffocation for the lost

This is also pretty good, I love the "red lipped lies" part

Let me hang among the living
Dead inside but beautifully broken
Waiting for someone to cut me down
Throw me inside the tomb
Once and for all
Leave me to return
To the dust from which I came
And fade into my immortal soul

And last a very good ending!

Well, thats about all I have to say.

Hope this helps,

~Rain~