Especially When It's Amber

They pushed it into
an unwilling hand,
a silver flask
of my particular poison,
of an addiction stronger than
life and love.

They shared their revelries with a stranger
gladly, generosity a curse
in the midst of a New Year.
And try as I might,
I lost my inner fight,
the will to throw down that silver
to the confetti- littered ground,
and smoothly went that
promise of let-gos and hazy freedoms
into my resisting throat,
stifling cries of
“Don’t do this,”
because liquid is heavier
than words you don’t mean.


Thanks for reading.

Persephoneia wrote:They pushed it into
an unwilling hand,
a silver flask
of my particular poison,
of an addiction stronger than
life and love.

They shared their revelries with a stranger
gladly, generosity a curse
in the midst of a New Year.
And try as I might,
I lost my inner fight,
the will to throw down that silver
to the confetti- littered ground,
and smoothly went that
promise of let-gos and hazy freedoms
into my resisting throat,
stifling cries of
“Don’t do this,”
because liquid is heavier
than words you don’t mean.


Thanks for reading.

This is a bit confusing, i know its suposed to tell a story, but its almost like you started in the middle of the story, so i didnt really get what its about

Sorry for the short review!

RIS!

Hello Persephoneia. Mind if I call you Seph? I hope not.

This poem is about a person who is offered alcohol at a New Years Eve party. Later on, she does some things that she regrets and is wishing she would have denied the bottle. That is what I got out of it.

This teeters on the edge of confusing. My wishes are for there to be more description and background as to what is happening so I wouldn't have to feel as if I was guessing so much. It is very well written and I feel things flow very well within their selves. It's not the format, rhythm, or word choice that is unsettling, it is the story itself. It's vague and, though I feel as if I have the general idea, there are lots of spaces that you've yet to fill. This would be perfect if it was entered somewhere near the end of an extension along the same concepts of this poem but, they way it stands now, things are confusing and I feel as if I've just flipped to a random page in a book and started reading.

Like I've said, this is very well written, but I feel there needs to be more structure and background. Well, that's just about all I've to say.

Ta-ta.

More background would be good for the sake of understanding, but if you're reading it without worrying about what it's about, then it's good. I don't know if you take that as a good thing or a bad thing...but anyways, I liked it. Favorite line:

the will to throw down that silver
to the confetti- littered ground

I'm not sure why...probably just the mention of confetti, seeing as I'm a five-year-old masquerading as nineteen.

~Blue

i like it, im new and this is the first poem I’ve genuinely liked, what i like best is how the poem moves along without getting caught in all the details. Often when people put a lot of unnecessary detail into poem it loses it’s lyrical effect and thus never really sounds like a piece of literary indulgence as i like to think a poem should be. This however is wonderful, the more you leave for the reader to imagine the more beautiful the piece is.

This could possibly be a terrible review and i am terribly sorry.