Elle (Chapter 11, part 2)

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Hello everyone! I am happy to say that I have officially finished chapter 11!(: I hope you enjoy the rest of the chapter, I'm sorry if it's not as good, I haven't written in a while.(:

I gawk wondering if he was serious. Was he?

“Trenton...” I try to call to him just as he opens the door.

“What, Elle?” The way he says my name, almost like he were muttering a swear. Cold and under his breath.

“Why?” I choke on the one word. A word that could mean nothing or everything. My sight goes blurry from the clear liquid pooling in them.

Trenton hung his head, letting out a deep breath, then says, “Elle, please.”

I wait for further explanation, nothing coming. Numb, I twist over so that I wasn’t facing Trenton anymore. I hear the door open with a slight creak then shut again, separating Trenton and I.

What did I do? It made no sense to me. Why now? Why? I continue asking myself the same questions over and over, each time coming up with no answer. My body ached from the position I kept, my knees tucked into me, my right wrist hanging over the bedside. Thankful that I was undisturbed, I let out a few sobs. Trenton was the only person I had left, and I lost him. My body shook from my silent cries. Exhaustion was starting to creep through me. Slowly, my body slipped into sleep.


“Elle? Are you awake?”

I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder.

“You need to eat something.”

Through my eyelashes, I saw Lyra looming over me. I stretched out my legs, not fully awake. Stiff, I try sitting up some. Once Lyra thought I was ready, she set a tray of fruit like before. I began to pick through the display of colorful foods. Once my mind cleared from sleep, I remembered what Trenton said to me. I wasn’t hungry anymore.

“Elle, what’s wrong? Is it your wrist?” Lyra’s hands darted to my wrist, scanning for any sign of pain or infection.

“No, I am fine.” I keep my voice steady.

Lyra studies me for a moment, then nods her head. “Alright.”

Just as Lyra begins to walk out, I ask her, “When will I be able to walk again?”

“Soon enough. You just need to regain strength,” she replies, her back already turning towards me to leave. I let Lyra leave, the door closing softly behind her while I pick at my food. In almost a state of fascination, I watch my long, soft, white fingers poke at the colorful display of different fruit. Then I looked at my right arm, seeing the horrible bruising shade of purple cover my skin. How could something so delicate and innocent turn into a monster?

This feeling of alone was horrible. In the cell, I knew that I still had people who cared about me, wanting to free me. Now, I had no one. My grandmother was imprisoned, maybe even killed. The only person I had was Trenton, now he was gone too. I don’t even know what I did to make him go.

I tried to ignore my pounding head and manage to focus on my strength. I try moving my legs under the sheets as well as my left arm, seeing if I get tired or feel weak. To my relief, I was turning back into my old self. Feeling overly confident, I try to get out of the bed. I get on my feet, preparing for impact like last time. My knees buckle, but I manage to stay up. You can do it, Elle. I take a small step with my left foot, sliding it across the wood floor. Next, my right. Then left, right, left until I was at the edge of the bed. I turn with it and keep going towards the door. Once I reach the end of the bed, I take in a huge breath.

I let go of the bed, ready for anything. My legs stay strong and keep me up. Amazement covered every inch of my being. Slowly, I take a small step. Then right. I am walking To surprise Lyra, I open the door and walk out into the rest of the home. I haven’t seen anything but the room that I have been staying in. The smell of warmth made me relax, calming my senses.

I must have been in the living area, for there was a fireplace with wood ready to be lit, bricks climbing up the wall. The rest of the walls were wood, placed one on top of the other. A large couch with small chairs were placed neatly together, all facing towards the fireplace. The kitchen must be around the corner, for I see a small corner of a table and a chair.

On the couch was Lyra, eating a small piece of bread, ready for my call. In a chair beside her was Trenton, looking down at his hands. A pang of sadness hit me, but I tried ignoring it.

“Elle ” Lyra shot out of her seat, rushing to me, gaping.

I smile brightly at her, almost as if I grew wings.

“How...” Lyra helps me to the couch.

“I don’t know,” I try explaining.

“This is amazing. I have never seen one recuperate so quickly.” She seems genuinely amazed.

“I feel fine. Maybe I should start practicing...” I trail off from the look Lyra gives me. Trenton gets up and leaves. The ache in me flares up.

“No, you still need to rest. Your Mark may not be healed completely.” Lyra begins unwinding the bandages on my right wrist. The white cotton collects on the floor. As she gets closer to my arm itself, Lyra goes faster. Once she reaches the skin, she gasps.

“What? Is something wrong?” I ask, flinching away. I don’t see anything wrong with it my Mark. It’s not bleeding, it doesn’t look infected.

“Nothings wrong. It’s healed.”



Hope you liked it! I hope to have Chapter 12 up sometime.(:
Katie ^-^




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Wow! That was a speedy recovery! Haha! Maybe a little too speedy...how did it happen? One minute she has this awful bruising on her hand and arm and is comparing her smooth skin to that, and then she gets out of bed and it's miraculously healed. I still don't understand Trenton. He's being a bit too self-indulgent with his self-pity. It's not his fault that Elle got stabbed by a madman with a poisonous knife. He wasn't in the dungeon holding her down or anything. So I guess I can't understand his position or recalcitrance towards Elle. I'm of the mind to agree with Elle on that one.
Why?

I thought it followed along well with the last part and provided a good jumping off point to the progression of the plot. I suppose that now she isn't injured she won't have to relearn all of her stuff. That's good for her in the long run.
I just want to point out also that you keep shifting tenses.
Through my eyelashes, I saw Lyra looming over me. I stretched out my legs, not fully awake. Stiff, I try sitting up some.

See what I mean? You really need to pick one--past or present--and just stick with it.
Other than that, those were my only nitpicks. I really enjoy reading this story so I'll be keeping a lookout for your next post. :)

Happy Writing!
Bailey
After all, it is the pen that gives power to the mythical sword.

"For an Assistant Pig-Keeper, I think you're quite remarkable." Eilonwy

"You also shall be Psyche."

"My only regret
all the Butterflies
that I have killed with my car" Martin Lanaux




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Thanks for the comment! I am kinda rusty at the moment. Haven't written in a while.(:
Katie ^-^




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Hey Katieee! :D

Long time no see, glad you're back!

“What, Elle?” The way he says my name, almost like he were muttering a swear. Cold and under his breath.
I like this part. Easy to imagine, and to 'hear'.

My knees buckle, but I manage to stay up. You can do it, Elle. I take a small step with my left foot, sliding it across the wood floor.
I think that the part I put in italics, should be in italics. She's thinking to herself and this should be noted.

Like Bailey, I noticed that you changed tenses again and also like Bailey, I find it very hard to believe how speedy her recovery was.

Katie, can I be honest? Trenton is really pathetic right now and I don't like him anymore. Make Elle confront him. Have her yell at him. Have her blame him for everything that's ever gone wrong in her life, after all, he's willing to shoulder much blame. I mean, why is he taking this so personally? It's a huge deal but there's nothing he could have done about it.

I also wish that you would add a little more depth to Elle getting up. I know we've talked about this before but considering that Elle's in 1st person, we get to see directly what's in her wrong. Have her sweat on the edge of her bed, afraid to get up but knowing she needs to press herself. Courage is going over and above your fear. Have her fear. SHow her courage. Not simply waltsing around with no sign of weakness. Makes sense?

With all that being said, it was a good chapter. Not my favourite but good. I can't wait to see where this is going.

I hope you post some more soon!
Tanya :D




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Thanks for the comment, borntobeawriter. I think I am just going to rewrite this part since I don't like it much myself, maybe change it up. I am kinda rusty at the moment.(:
Katie ^-^



Don't let fear keep you from some amazing opportunities.
— WeepingWisteria